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I wish anything would change. Because I feel like I’m drifting… I’m always drifting.
Bruises remind me that I’m alive and susceptible to hurt. Like when I was twelve and I used to cut myself. Just to feel.
It’s odd, to feel completely alone when surrounded by so many people.
My exterior is stunning. An almost ethereal creature with gem eyes and perfectly chiseled features.
On the inside, I’m decaying and rotten. But no one sees that part, so it’s okay.
So my body becomes like a vacation home.
“Because he’s mine. Whether he wants to be or not.”
Fuck you, you evil, beautiful, slutty little liar.
From the moment we met, it was like my soul reached out and grabbed onto him, clutching with desperate, greedy fingers, trying frantically to smoosh him in and make him a part of me.
Because you deserve to hurt. To be degraded, ripped apart, and left for dead. It’s all you have to offer.
remembering the way Lex used to lie back and let me take him how I wanted. The way he’d melt into the bed and become mine in an instant.
He needs to know how good I can always make him feel, even if it sometimes hurts afterward.
Lex… Lexington. Spill for me, baby. Burst into a million glowing embers and rain it all over me.
Sex, or any variation of hooking up, is vulnerable for me. Because I don’t do it often, or ever, really.
“You’re telling me you were kidnapped when you were twelve and turned into a child sex slave? Is that what you’re telling me right now??”
You never how terrifying your reality looks through the fresh eyes of an outsider.
“The thing about evil,” she whispers, “is that it masquerades as good.
True evil doesn’t look like a monster with horns and a forked tongue. It’s beautiful, charming, and powerful… An exceptional liar, and a master at manipulating its camouflage.”
“There are no heroes in this world, Lex. Just villains with a better disguise.”
On the inside, I feel every lash he’s ever inflicted on me. No one else can see them… But I can.
My emotional scar tissue nearly covers my entire body.
And what’s love if not complete and total obsession, right?
It was the one thing that drives us even more than love, or sex ever could. Power.
It’s the most comforting truth of all… I’m not afraid of being bad. In fact, I prefer it.
“I know you… You hate to admit it, but having me around hurts so good for you.”
“I’ll bend over for every motherfucker in this place until you fucking come back to me!!”
I hate what ifs. I’m a man of ones and zeros. Uncertainty makes me itch.
His eyes are so blue… It’s almost unnatural. They’re the actual color of the sky when it’s nice out.
I don’t consider myself unattractive at all, but sitting next to him is like sitting next to a prince.
It’s like the warmth I used to get when I’d make Leah laugh, only more confusing.
Because this time, it’s deeper than just the joy of making someone else happy. It’s like an appreciation for the way his laugh sounds, and how good he looks doing it.
“I’ll dream about you, baby… like fireworks over the ocean.”
“Just use me to get off, baby,” he whispers. “Use me to see what you like.”
But the difference is that I want Lex to have that attachment to me. I’m desperate for him to see me as more than just his slutty friend. I want him to be mine.
He’s saying no to sex because he wants to keep me?? That doesn’t even make sense…
But I’m also selfish, and evil, and I want him so badly. I want to be his everything, not just his friend.
We’re already in Hell. Whether it’s wrong or not, I will keep Lex Luthor Deon here so he can burn with me forever.
his excitement and his fear, so delicious it’s like the most decadent dessert ever created.
It’s always the slim, cut guys who have the biggest cocks, I’m telling you.
He called me baby… Lexington just called me baby…
“Tell me how to find your spot,”
“I wanna touch it. Fuck, baby, I wanna make you shake…”
“Come on my fingers, sweet flame.”
He’s saying my name. His orgasm came from rubbing his cock on mine, touching me and kissing my skin. While saying my name.
I’ve never felt this way in my entire life… I’ve never been so glad to be me.
I will try so hard not to hurt you. I’ll be what you need… Anything for you.”
Your sexuality is a part of you that’s always been there, something you discover and develop over time. I hope he’s starting to see that.
“I’m just saying, he’s never not reaching for you,” he goes on. “Even when it hurts.”
“Yes, now,” Kang says firmly. “I don’t care. I’ll save your stupid relationship. My dick is like the fucking Red Cross at this point.”
Shit, I probably sound so toxic, but I want to ruin everything about this boy so he’s mine forever.
