Alive at Night (Wildflower, #1)

by Amelie Rhys

“Of course not.” Noah looked affronted. “But I am aware I have a reputation.” “Then he has nothing to protect me from.”

don’t know why he thinks he gets to want nothing to do with me and also tell other guys that they should want nothing to do with me.”

“These are not the texts of a man who wants nothing to do with you, Juniper.”

“He doesn’t think we’re a good idea,” I admitted.

course he doesn’t,” Noah said softly, taking me aback. “Of course?” “Because it’s Julian.”

“Julian’s life revolves around his family,” Noah added. Okay, yes, that I did know. “And you are in the unfortunate situation of being very close to that family.”

“His entire life, he’s made decisions based on what he thinks is best for the people he loves. He could have easily made a career in the NFL, but he didn’t think it was the responsible choice. He could have easily gone into law school immediately after undergrad, but his dad needed his help back home. He could have asked you out eons ago, but he didn’t want to get between your relationship with his family, the one you love so very much.” “Eons ago?”

“Julian never made any indication that he liked me growing up.” An understatement.

“Oh, sweet...

“You’re wrong. That’s why I was so surprised when he introduced us, but he insisted it was fine. Until it so clearly wasn’t.” “I—I do...

I didn’t talk to him.” He gave me a sympathetic little smile that was sweet but painful. “I just know him.”

lips pressed together in a repressed smile. “What?” I couldn’t help it; I needed to know. Noah read from his phone without looking up. “He’s reminding me that he’s broken bones for you before, and he can do it again.” “He’s so dramatic,” I scoffed, despite my stomach flipping. Noah chuckled before giving me a curious look. “Do you want me to cave and tell him where we are?”

He can have tonight to figure out what he wants. And then, just maybe, I’ll give him a chance if he realizes it’s me.”

“He knows it’s you, Juniper.” He sounded so s...

Once he had me pressed against the counter with a thrilling sort of roughness, his attention turned to the rest of the apartment, scoping it out. “He’s not here,” I said dryly.

His hair was wet now, hanging over his forehead.

“He better not fucking be here,” he said, eyes wild as he slid so close to me that his damp clothes—the same suit he wore earlier at work—brushed over my bare skin. I repressed a shiver. Instead of entertaining that comment, I repeated my earlier question. “What are you doing here, Julian? It’s late.” “Noah wouldn’t tell me what restaurant you went to for dinner.”

fact, that ass barely responded to me at all.” “Because we were eating dinner,”

“What did you have?” he whispered, his tone growing soft. “For dinner?” I whispered back. “Pasta.” “And did you eat all of it?”

any signs of a lie. “Most of it.” Julian’s lips curved slightly. “That’s my girl.” My girl.

“Julian, what’s happening?” It was a good thing he was so close because I could only seem to make my words so loud. “What is this?”

“It’s nothing new,” he confessed, his jaw continuing to clench angrily even though his eyes were soft and imploring. “Not for me. I spent so many years pushing you away because of it, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Juni.”

“But you have to understand what it was like.” “What what was like?” “You were everywhere, Juniper.”

“Every time I turned the corner, you were there. Your stacks of books, that perfume, clothes—all over my house. Everywhere, all the time. Such a goddamn tease. Because even though you were there, you h...

only hated you because of how you made me feel. You were the only one who never accepted me, who didn’t consider me welcome. All I wanted was more family to call my own.”

me in and held me tight. “I know.” His face screwed up. “And I didn’t know how to give you what you wanted, Juniper. Because it didn’t feel like we could be…that. Not with how I wanted you.” He sighed. “Do you remember the car accident you and Gemma were in?” “Of course I do.” How could I forget when he brought it up so frequently? When he’d never let me forget the moment that seemed like the breaking point between us. “You were so mad at me. Because of what happened to Gemma—”

“No. I was so mad because of you.”

“Me?” “My sister was lying in the hospital bed, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over you. Over what could have happened to you. I love Gemma to no end, but you—you, Juni…”

“I felt so guilty. About all of it. Those feelings didn’t feel fair to Gemma. They didn’t feel fair to you because I knew what you wanted, and it wasn’t that. I was mad; you’re right. I was mad at all of it, and after that, I pushed you so far away until I couldn’t feel you anymore,...

“Being around you these last few months, Juniper…”

“It’s like little pieces of you are coming back to me. And it’s not that I’m realizing how much I want you. I’m remembering it. Bit by bit, I’m remembering it. Even though I tried really fucking hard to hold on to the anger, I just couldn’t.” “Why, Julian?” I shook my head, practically speechless. “I don’t want you to feel that way anymore. I don’t want that for us.” “Because I thought it was better for you, Juni. And for my family.” “It isn’t,” I insisted. “It isn’t what’s better.”

know that now,” Julian admitted, leaving me speechless. “It’s not better. It’s awful, Juni. It’s awful because I want you so badly. I want you more than I know how to explain. And I can’t…anymore. I can’t.”

“But you went on a date with fucking Noah, and now I—”

“What happened after dinner?”

And I refused to exist hopelessly. “He drove me home.” “He better not have fucking touched you,”

“Unfortunately, he didn’t.” “Unfortunately?”

“Well, no one else is touching me,”

“And I’d rather not remain a virgin forever.” Julian’s eyes snapped to my face. “What did you just say?” His voice was eerily soft.

“You heard me.” He stared, unmoving. His breathing grew shallow, and I wished I knew what he was thinking. I wished I could gauge his reaction, but his expression remained stoic and stunned. When he spoke, his voice was taut. “You’re a virgin?” “It’s not a big deal.” I

“Virginity is just a social construct, Julian.” “You brou...

“And now I need you to answer the question.” “You know the answer,” I...

Usually, I hated the sensation. But tonight, I welcomed the warmth that brought it. “Fuck, Juni.”

He swore again under his breath as I remained caged between his arms against the countertop. I wasn’t sure what was about to happen, but something was. Something that would either hurt or heal me. “Juniper,” Julian murmured, raising his head slowly. “Julian,” I whispered, trying not to look away. I likely should, though. His look was so hazy with lust,

“From now on, if you want someone to take you on a date, it’s going to be me,”

“And if you want someone to fuck you, that’ll be me, too.”

anyone else. Me, Juni. Understood?”

“What happened to just existing?” “At this point, I don’t even know how to do that without you,” he grunted, dropping his forehead against mine. “I’ve never not wanted you, Juni. I’ve tried for years not to want you, but I can’t do it anymore. I want to be around you constantly.” “Constantly?”

“Constantly, Daisy.” The confession brushed against my lips. “I think about you constantly. I want you constantly.”

“That’s an awfully bold statement without any proof,” I said breathlessly.

“Don’t ask for proof unless you’re ready to get it, Juniper.” “I’m ready.” I licked my lips, trying not to pay too close attention to how Julian’s eyes dropped to my mouth. “Tell me more,” he encouraged. “What do you want to know?” “I couldn’t give you what you wanted when we were younger. What do you want now?”