Alive at Night (Wildflower, #1)

by Amelie Rhys

“So wet,” he whispered, sounding awed. “You’re so wet. Was it like this before?” “Before?”

the hotel. Did you drench your underwear for me then, too?” “Yes,” I admitted, tired of taming the truth or reworking it in my head. “Why do you think I said all those things to try to get you into bed?”

“I’m sorry, baby,” he said tenderly after pulling back again. “I’m sorry I didn’t give you what you needed this weekend, but I’ll do it now.” I didn’t get a chance to respond before Julian curled his fingers inside me. A wordless cry flew from my lips as bliss fired through every inch of me.

“Oh, Fuck. Juni.” I couldn’t agree more with Julian’s rough curse. Fuck. Fucking hell. But unlike him, I couldn’t talk. Julian’s voice growled in my ear as he pumped his fingers faster, making me see stars. “Your sweet pussy is gripping my fingers so fucking good. I can only imagine…shit.” “Julian,” I gasped as I comprehended his words. “You should know that I’m—oh my God.”

My eyes rolled back, my legs weakened, my fingers grabbed onto his shirtsleeves with desperation, nails digging into his muscular upper arms. And then his thumb grazed over my clit, and my body tightened in response.

realized Julian was pressing little kisses all along my jawline until he made it back to my ear, nipping my earlobe as he murmured bits of sweet, dirty encouragement while finger-fucking me against our office door. “That’s it,” he muttered gruffly. “Come on, love.”

“I—oh—Julian.” My attempts at words were reduced to pants. I squirmed against his hand, against his entire body. So close, I was s...

“Stop being so goddamn stubborn, and come all over my fucking fingers, Juniper.” I wanted to. I wanted to more than anything I’d ever wanted. It felt like I was running along a cliff’s edge, and I needed freedom. I needed to fall, and I needed to fall into him.

tongue flicked against mine at the same moment he pinched my clit, I screamed into his mouth, pouring cries down his throat.

“It’s not enough,” Julian gasped, his wild eyes trailing over me. “That taste, that amazing fucking taste—it’s not enough.”

Then Julian dropped to his knees. All I could do was watch his head with all its tousled auburn hair dip between my legs. He kissed the inside of my knee before looking up at me. “I couldn’t sleep last night,” he said, his breaths coming in short spurts. “Ask me why.”

“Why?”

“I couldn’t stop imagining going down on you.”

“Let me,” Julian groaned, his tongue swirling up my inner thighs like he wanted to give me a preview of what it would feel like. “Let me taste more of you.” I was torn. I wanted that. Really, I did. But I also wanted to have my turn. “Me first,” I gasped, trying to ignore how goddamn good it felt to have his lips and tongue on my skin.

first,” I repeated, slower this time, so he couldn’t miss it. I wanted to taste him, too. But to my dismay, Julian shook his head. “You can’t touch me.” His words were whispered and tortured. “Why not?” That hardly seemed fair. “If you touch me…I won’t survive, Juni.”

“I’ll never get over it.” “Why do you have to?”

“Juniper…” God, I usually loved when he said my full name, but I hated this. Julian took three steps backward, leaning against the office door. He stared at the ceiling for a few moments, catching his breath. Eventually, he lowered his gaze. “We can’t.” He said it so quietly that I almost didn’t hear it. “We can’t what?”

Do this.” He waved a finger back and forth. “Let it happen again. You’re Gemma’s best friend. We share an office, for fuck’s

“So…why—why did you kiss me?” I asked, my voice sounding hollow. I pressed my fingers to my lips, feeling the ghost of his. “It was the way you were talking about yourself,” he replied in a low voice. “As if it was out of the realm of possibility for me to want you, when in reality…”

“But we’re just not a good idea, Juni,” he finished weakly. He was right about that. None of this had been a good idea. But it seemed a little too late, didn’t it? “Maybe taking me to Sofia’s wedding wasn’t a good idea, either,” I said testily, awkwardly yanking my skirt down, fully covering my legs again. “While I appreciated it, maybe you shouldn’t have bothered.”

“I didn’t want anyone else taking you,” he said evenly. “I told you.” When I glared at him with barely concealed irritation, he added, “If it hadn’t been for Gemma and work, I probably would have told Noah to fuck off myself.”

“I don’t know how to go back,”

can’t go back,” I said more forcefully. “We have to,” Julian insisted, and I scowled. He noted my expression and grew exasperated. “Yes, we kissed, but—” “Twice,” I interjected.

“Twice,” he acknowledged. “We kissed twice. Impulsively. Unplanned. And now we can plan to not do it again.” “That’s what you want?” I probed, trying to ignore how much it hurt to hear those words. Julian just stared at me, jaw clenching. “There’s a difference between impulsivity and living in the moment, Julian.”

“Explain it to me.”

“Sometimes it feels good to prolong moments where you can really live before being crashed back into a reality where you just exist.”

wasn’t impulsive,” I added in a breathy whisper. “What?” “When I kissed you at the wedding? That wasn’t impulsive. It’s not like I never thought about you…like that before,”

“But I guess it wasn’t the same for you.” Julian shook his head sadly, and I didn’t know how to interpret it. “Kissing you feels like living, Juniper.”

a moonflower, Julian,” I said, repeating the same thing I’d said numerous times before. He took a step closer, his body cradling mine. His words whispered across my hair. “Tell me what that means, Daisy.”

“It only comes alive at night.”

“Juniper,” I clarified, feeling like my knees were about to give out. “Juniper St. James. Brown hair, brown eyes, so fucking pretty. Please tell me someone knows where the hell she is.”

“What are you wearing?” She didn’t give me her eyes when she replied. “What I’m wearing doesn’t concern you, Julian.” “Maybe it doesn’t concern me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be concerned,” I grunted, wondering where the hell she planned to go in that. “You wanted to just exist, Julian.”

me exist.” I closed my eyes momentarily to get my shit together. This existing thing? I hated it. Didn’t she realize I hated it? “Juni—” “It’s a dress,” she cut me off before bending down to grab her purse from beneath her desk.

“Do you have a problem with it?” “Not a problem, no,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “But there isn’t much of it.” That was the mildest way I could think of reminding her that it would only take half a second for me to get beneath any fabric she put on her body. She raised a brow. It was done mockingly, and somehow, that made it even hotter. “I thought you weren’t afraid of a little bare skin, Julian.” “I’m not.”

skin, your lips, any little bit of you, I’m not afraid of any of it.”

fucking crave it,” I said in a low voice. “But I’m afraid of what it’ll do to me if I let it. What it will do to you. What it will do to the people around us.” “Julian…”

“It’s not about me, Juniper,” I pleaded. “It’s not about what I want. You have to understand.” “Oh, I understand. I know you, Julian.” She

deflated. “You’ve been pushing me away for years. It’s not like I’m not used to it.” “Juniper, I—” My words cut off at her stony glare, and I knew anything I had to say would fall flat. “You haven’t changed,”

told you, Julian. I told you at Sofia’s wedding that I liked you. And then, if I remember correctly, you made me admit that nothing about that night was fake. So it wasn’t a lie. But you know what…it doesn’t even matter.”

doesn’t?” “No, I have a date I need to get to.”

took a step back, feeling sucker punched with that information. “You have a date you need to get to,” I repeated. Juniper looked down at herself thoughtfully. “You didn’t think I put this dress on for you, did you?”

“Who did you put the dress on...

“Noah,” she said, her voice sweet. “He asked me to dinner tonight.” Oh, fuck no. I turned back around with such force that I had to plant my feet on the ground to stop the momentum of my chair. “Excuse me…what?”

“I’m going to dinner with Noah,” I repeated for him, even though I was positive he’d heard me correctly the first time. “Noah London,” he clarified through clenched teeth. “Noah London,” I confirmed. “You know…tattoos, professional football player, lived with you in—” “I know, Juniper.” The growl of his voice sent a thrill through me that I chose to ignore. “What I don’t know is why the hell you’re going to dinner with him.”

that so unbelievable of an idea?” “Of course not, but—” “He felt bad that he couldn’t take me to Sofia’s wedding and asked to make it up to me.” “And you said yes?” “Clearly.” I motioned to my outfit, which I’d picked out specifically for this occasion. “It’s not like anyone else is asking me on a date tonight.”

“Juniper!” Oh, goddamnit.

“He’s threatening what he’ll do if I touch you. And the longer I go without answering his threats, the more creative they seem to be getting.” “Oh my God,” I groaned. “I’m so sorry. He’s so incredibly infuriating.”

me explain Julian for you.” “Oh, I understand Julian.” I took an overly large gulp of my Chardonnay. “I’ve known him for over a decade, and most of it has not been pleasant.” “I’m not saying he doesn’t have his faults, but you gotta realize he’s a good guy. More than a good guy.”

“He is, Juniper.” “He’s threatening you,” I pointed out, in case he’d forgotten. “Because he knows my faults and wants to protect you.”

from everything and everyone…except himself. “You would touch me if I didn’t want you to?”