Practicing Affirmation: God Centered Praise Of Those Who Are Not God

by Sam Crabtree

God is seen as the Giver, the

Root, the Fountain from which such things are flowing.

For our boast is this: the testimony of our conscience that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity, not by earthly wisdom but by the grace of God, and supremely so toward you. (2 Cor. 1:12)

If anything is to be commended in others, it is because in some measure they echo—even if faintly—the character of the One most worthy of praise, the One from whom all blessings and qualities flow.

Christ is Lord in an absolute way: no power exists except the power derived from Christ according to his own design. He made everything (Col. 1:16) and controls everything he made. He is transcendent and immanent, above and beyond everything he made and near to all he has made.

The best affirmations acknowledge and encourage progress in the direction that fulfills that very purpose for living on this earth: to glorify God by becoming Christlike.

affirm Christlikeness in transformed believers is to affirm what Christ purchased with his own blood.

The reason we ought not to curse people is that they are made in the image of God.

the power and importance of affirmation

Affirming others

What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up. (1 Cor. 14:26)

Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. (Rom. 15:2)

What is the mercy that we receive when we refresh others?

Generally, mercy is forbearing mitigation—release from a deserved punitive consequence, not getting what we deserve as a consequence of our sin and folly. Specifically, when God grants mercy to someone who refreshes others, the one doing the refreshing is released from the consequences he deserves for being a sinner in each and every relationship.

Affirmation is like an invigorating sudsy shower after a long day of manual labor. It’s like a cool rain after a long, hot dry spell. It delivers a combination of relief, respite, hope, optimism, satisfaction, and energy. It’s life-giving. It blesses.

Blessing others is the very calling of the Christian: “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing” (1 Pet. 3:9). Again notice the multiple parties involved: (1) You, blessing somebody else, (2) somebody else, receiving your blessing, and (3) God, blessing you for blessing somebody else.To this you were called. I am using the terms “blessing” and “affirmation” synonymously here. Later we will see a distinction: while not all blessings come in the form of affirmations, all God-centered affirmations are blessings.

“He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed” (Prov. 11:25 niv).

appointed:“And whoever in the name of a disciple gives to one of these little ones even a cup of cold water to drink, truly I say to you, he shall not lose his reward” (Matt. 10:42 nasb).

God is the rewarder of those who refresh others.

we already know how to affirm; the challenge is to practice the process consistently and in God-centered ways.

relationship.A fire not stoked goes out.A refrigerator unplugged rots the eggs, which were perfectly good not too long ago.A garden not tended erupts with weeds,not vegetables.Affirmation is the fire-stoking,refrigerator-electrifying, garden-tending side of relationships.

affirmations tend to evaporate over time.

Corrections tend to out-number affirmations, and by doing so, corrections sabotage or

undercut the value of aff...

give so many affirmations as a pattern, a way of life, that you gain a reputation for it.

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Prov. 12:18).

“A man’s spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?” (Prov. 18:14).

“And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him” (Heb. 11:6).

refreshment:“Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification” (Rom. 15:2 nasb).

people are influenced by those who praise them. Giving praise does wonders for the other person’s sense of hearing.

Richard Baxter said,“They love those who best esteem them highest.The

John Calvin says, “We readily believe those whom we know to be desirous of our welfare,”

way:“You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”Or:“A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.”

Affirmation has power to gain a hearing for the affirmer even in the ears of the outright rebellious.

Refreshing your spouse willalso help affair-proof yourmarriage.Without the refreshment that comes through affirmation, affections shift subtly.Affairs start with a polite listening ear,somebody sensitive, and soon the affirmed dish has run away with the spoon.

sandwich.1Let affirmations stand alone, separated from correction. Steady Related to

A steady diet of affirmations in a relationship is like watering and hoeing in a garden—it’s refreshing and keeps the weeds down. Just doing nothing won’t keep the weeds down. Weeds have a way. It’s part of this fallen, cursed world. It is a foolish error to

Giving affirmation requires time, so make time for it. Make time for it serendipitously on the spur of the moment by interrupting what you are doing in order draw attention to some commendable action, and make time for it by planning it into your schedule.

Put affirmation on your calendar—

block out enough time to write the qualities you appreciate in your friend.

“Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment” (Prov.12:19);“The getting of treasures by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a snare of death” (Prov. 21:6).

hateful:“Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and harbors deceit in his heart” (Prov. 26:24).

let us pay attention to patterns of character that emerge from the work of God going on inside a person. We’ll give more attention to character in chapter

saying,“You are Christlike [in some specific way], and I want to be like you in the way you are like Jesus.”

“For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” (1 Cor. 4:7).

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy” (Prov. 27:6).

Why Affirm Others?

Affirming others earns us the right standing from which to make suggestions. It gains us a hearing. This benefit is so rich and life-giving.

Affirmation energizes people. It not only lifts their spirits but motivates them to action.Affirmation not only points toward character already being demonstrated, but it fosters more of the same.

Affirmation of others makes us easier to live with.