Dirty Talking Rival

by Pippa Grant

“Fire in the hole! Fire in the fucking hole!” Long Beak Silver calls from his perch on Pop’s shoulder in the stands.

That parrot!!

“He’s gonna strike your ass out so hard your mama will still be feeling it in her ass a month from now,” the catcher says.

🔥

But, like my drill sergeant used to say, if wishes were leprechauns, we’d all be stepping in gold shit.

😂

“This better not be just about you,” I tell my cock, which has been asking to come out and play since the minute I realized that black spandex-clad ass tangled in the bushes belonged to the woman who’s haunted my dreams for half my life.

Lol

“Somebody’s been a bad, bad biscuit,” he whispers. “Does she need punishment?”

“You know what I do to bad biscuits?” Please tell me you spank them. Please please please tell me you—no. Bad brain. Bad brain.

“Okay, hot flash in the hooha, but is cake mix really silky?”

“You’re so soft,” she says shyly to the cake mix. “I kinda want to just keep fingering you.”

“Baking is a lot like sex. The messier, the better. And I’ll never object if you use both hands.” “Hoo, boy, did you know nipples can have orgasms?” Shit. My pirate mast just tried to raise another flag, and based on the way she’s rubbing her ass against it, she knows exactly what she’s doing. “You can’t say orgasm.” “You mean when you’re denying both of us orgasms?” “Crack the eggs, Annika. The cake mix needs some love.”

“Mm, oil. So slick and lubey.” “Are you trying to torture me?” I murmur into her hair. “Like you can talk, Mr. Food Porn. You feed me things that make my mouth happier than it’s been since the dining facility fixed their soft serve machine, and then you go and put those hands that bake so well on me, and you think I can resist?”

“Are you this bossy when you’re naked?” she murmurs while she pours the oil.

“Okay,” she finally says. “These beautiful balls of foodgasms are ready to get hot.”

“You know what I do to dirty girls?” I ask. “I hope it’s strip them naked and lick them clean,” she replies.