Rhythm of War (The Stormlight Archive, #4)

by Brandon Sanderson

“And you’re supposed to be the dumb one,” Wit said, grinning. “When have I ever mocked you, though?” “All the time, Wit. You mock everyone.” “Do I? Do I really? Hmmm…” He tapped his chin. “I’m gainfully employed as Queen’s Wit, and she expects me to provide only the best of mockery on her behalf. I need to be careful about simply giving it away. Who is going to buy the cow, and all that.” Dalinar frowned. “What is a cow?” “Big, juicy, delicious. Wish I could still eat them. You don’t seem to have them around here, which I find amazing, as I’m sure there was one somewhere in Sadeas’s lineage. Paternal grandfather perhaps. Watch the highprinces. There’s almost certainly going to be a show.” He sauntered off to take his customary position near Jasnah.

“Wit?” Kaladin finally said. “Do you … maybe have a story you could tell me?” Wit froze, spoon in his mouth. He stared at Kaladin, lowering his hand, leaving the spoon between his lips—before eventually opening his mouth to stare slack-jawed, the spoon falling into his waiting hand.

“Mmm…” Pattern said from beside the door, where he was watching for Adolin. “What?” Radiant asked him. “You like irony now too?” “Irony tastes good. Like sausage.” “And have you ever tasted sausage?” “I don’t believe I have a sense of taste,” Pattern said. “So irony tastes like what I imagine sausage would taste like when I’m imagining tastes.”

“Enjoy that!” Wit said, striding toward the door. “Let me know how the brooding treats you. I spent a century doing it once, and I think it improved my complexion.”