Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection

by Charles Duhigg

Whenever someone said something emotional—even when they didn’t realize their emotions were on display—Felix had reciprocated by voicing feelings of his own. All those small choices they had made, he explained, had created an atmosphere of trust.

I've been thinking about this idea of shared vulnerability quite a bit lately. Perhaps a way to help the people around me open up is by being more vulnerable myself and more willing to share my emotions. And if anyone does take a risk and share their emotions and struggles with me, I want to make sure that I am reciprocating that. One struggle I have with this is making sure that I'm not one-upping people when I share a struggle I have. I find it tricky to keep a balance between responding with my own struggles and making sure that people know I'm not trying to "beat" their struggle.