Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection

by Charles Duhigg

THE HOW DO WE FEEL? CONVERSATION AN OVERVIEW Emotions shape every conversation. They guide what we say and how we hear, often in ways we don’t realize. Every conversation is, in some respect, a discussion about How Do We Feel? Because this kind of dialogue is so important, the next three chapters are devoted to emotional conversations. When it comes to discussing emotions, listening is essential. We need to listen for vulnerabilities, hear what is unsaid—and, just as important, we must show we are listening. Good listening, when it works, reveals new worlds beneath the surface of people’s words. Chapter 3 explains how to listen more deeply and what to do when we hear someone say something meaningful. Chapter 4 examines how we can get better at hearing emotions that are unspoken—how our bodies, our vocal tones, our gestures, and our expressions say as much as our words. Chapter 5 explores how emotions can fuel conflicts or help resolve them, and how to create safer environments for discussing disagreements, both online and off. The How Do We Feel? conversation is essential to connection. These next three chapters explore how to express—and how to hear—what we feel.