Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection

by Charles Duhigg

for instance, no one is allowed to blame, shame, or attack others. The goal is to share our feelings, not litigate who is at fault.

Finally, acknowledge, and keep acknowledging, that discomfort is natural—and useful.

Acknowledge people’s experiences and look for genuine similarities.

Having loving parents made it easier to find happiness as an adult.

“The most important influence, by far, on a flourishing life is love.” Not romantic love, but, rather, the kinds of deep connections we form with our families, friends, and coworkers, as well as neighbors and people from our community.

“Connectedness is something we must let happen to us…. What durable and pliable creatures we are, and what a storehouse of goodwill lurks in the social fabric.”

“Good relationships keep us healthier and happier.” And, in many instances, those relationships were established, and kept alive, via long and intimate discussions.

connecting with others can make us healthier, happier, and more content. Conversations can change our brains, bodies, and how we experience the world.

It has helped me to connect better, to be more mindful when other people reveal something personal, to know that there is always a conversation going on—be it practical, emotional, or social—and that we won’t be able to connect until we come to an understanding about what we all want and need.