This is the real reason why so many conflicts persist: Not because of a lack of solutions or because people are unwilling to compromise, but because combatants don’t understand why they are fighting in the first place. They haven’t discussed the deeper topics—the emotional issues—that are inflaming the dispute. And they’ve avoided that emotional discussion because they don’t want to admit they are furious and sad and worried. In other words, they don’t want to talk about How Do We Feel?, even though it’s the most important conversation to have.
