This second benefit is important because it helps establish reciprocal vulnerability. Emotional reciprocity doesn’t come from simply describing our own feelings but, rather, providing “empathetic support.” Reciprocity is nuanced. If someone reveals they’ve gotten a cancer diagnosis, we shouldn’t reciprocate by talking about our own aches and pains. That’s not support—it’s an attempt to turn the spotlight on ourselves. But if we say, “I know how scary that is. Tell me what you’re feeling,” we show we empathize and are trying to understand.
