Sometimes people didn’t even seem to realize they were trying to exert control. “I’m seeing the same dudes posting over and over again with the same long drawn-out gun rhetoric and it’s really off-putting,” one woman wrote. Her intent was to express her frustration, but it came off like an attempt to restrain who was allowed to speak: “I’m most interested in hearing from other women,” she wrote. “I am not at all interested in hearing from men.” Sometimes, when we try to exert control, we don’t realize we’re doing it. We think we’re simply stating our opinion, or offering advice, and don’t
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