Keep You To Myself (Unorthodox Love, #1)

by BriAnn Danae

He worried so much, it could’ve been his middle name.

Even if she was a prostitute, he still assaulted her. Selling pussy or not, consent was still a thing.

“Work. You?” “Court at three. Tryna talk Nikki into taking me off child support,” he boasted with a smirk. “How you gon’ do that?” For as long as Synovi had heard D’Marco complain about being on child support, which was a year that he’d known him, he just knew something tragic must’ve happened for Nikki to decide that. “How you think? Give her some dick and promise to get my shit together.” D’Marco laughed, but Synovi didn’t find their situation comical.

He hated when people stared at him. One lady looked as if she were going to drool at the mouth, and Synovi held his laugh in as her husband snapped at her. “For fuck’s sake, Sharon. Stare any longer, and he’ll be able to read your thoughts,” the husband grumbled.

“Nah. We good. I’m just trying to figure out why you were pressed on repaying me. I was just doing what every man should’ve done, had they been out there.” The smile she’d been wearing faltered some. “Yeah. You’d think that. Every man isn’t really a man, you know? It was just really kind of you, and I’m big on treating people the same way.” That he could agree on. Synovi took it as her being herself, so he relaxed some.

Racquel pondered for a bit. “According to my sister, it’s the age where you really don’t know who you are yet. Sorta just winging it until something works. Figuring out if certain friendships and jobs are for you. Or if you like this hairstyle and the way you dress. Wondering how you’re going to pay your college debt off while recovering from a hangover and not trying to bring another life into this world.”

The cherry red BMW coupe she was pushing was clean as hell, as if someone had washed it while they were eating. At eighteen, Synovi’s thoughts were nowhere near driving a car that nice. He was too worried about where he was going to lay his head at. Not how fast he could reach one hundred on the dash of a damn BMW. Nor did he have worries about getting assaulted outside of a nightclub. He and Racquel were living two separate lives; hers of privilege, and his of poverty. Synovi didn’t see why the fuck she wanted to be his friend. What was he bringing to the friendship?

“You got it. Long as you get me there without killing me, we good.” “Great. Buckle your seatbelt.” Synovi stared at her like he didn’t want to. The car was already compact; him putting his seatbelt on was going to make him feel even more trapped. Racquel didn’t care. She could be reckless at times, but having whoever rode with her fasten their seatbelt as she did was a promise she made to her parents. “I’m not moving until you put it on. I don’t care about you frowning your face up either,” she said, fluttering her lashes. Synovi shook his head while dragging the belt over his chest. When she heard the click, Racquel took her foot off the brake.

“Yeah. Most are associates, though.” “I can tell. You showing me off like I’m your nigga or something,” Synovi voiced. Racquel cracked up, slapping his arm. “It does look like that, huh? We’re friends, I told you that. Plus,” she said with a smile. “You’re not really my type.” “Good. I ain’t wanna be no way. Weird ass girl,” he cracked, making her laugh harder. “Shut up! But seriously. You’re not ugly or anything, I’m just more into something else.”

Being the type of person he was, Synovi didn’t want to just climb in the bed without showering first. Since he had no choice but to, he slipped his hoodie and shirts off before removing his jeans. Neatly, he placed them in the chair before laying his socks across them. He hated sleeping in socks and wouldn’t be caught walking in them, either. He kept a pair of slides on his feet if he could.

“Well, I told you anyway, with your rude ass. You’d think after all that cleaning, it would’ve helped your attitude. I guess not.”

couldn’t front like he wasn’t tired as hell, so he put his pride to the side. He wasn’t too good to catch a ride, but his internal trauma of people doing for him out of pity always left him battling with accepting help. He’d let Racquel drop him off, but it wasn’t going to be at Solace Place. That was pushing it.

Synovi wasn’t the type of person who needed every single detail why something happened or why someone didn’t fuck with him. Once you showed him your true colors, he painted his own picture with them.

Synovi couldn’t relate. He was stingy with who he shared his dick with and where he placed it. At least, that was the way he was now. In his teenage years, he was a bit reckless. Fucking his frustrations out was an outlet back then. Now, sex was the last thing on his mind. Sliding in some pussy while being broke and on a mission to live a better life wasn’t on his agenda. When he wanted some, he knew who to call.

“Why you smell and look like yesterday?” Synovi laughed. “I’m about to go in here and shower now.” “Yeah, you do that. I’d hate to think you were out here not washing your ass,” she said, making him laugh harder.

Don approached her as a young, fly chick, and she was still that years later. He thought she was going to stick it out with him because of history and who he was, but was sadly mistaken. She humbled him quick. He may have been that nigga to them bitches he sat up and gamed over them jail calls, but she was that girl for real. Not just because of her looks, either. Torin had her shit together and had made a name for herself without having to be attached to Don’s.

Torin was going to have to learn that her happiness couldn’t be based on the opinions of others because a mothafucka was always going to have something to say when they weren’t the ones making decisions.

“You didn’t have to come upstairs, Synovi. It takes two to cheat.” “The only cheater is you. I’m single and was clearly thinking with the wrong head. Lesson learned,”

Wrapping her in a hug, he kissed her forehead. “I wish it could be more. In another lifetime, I’d be rocking your last name,” Jade sighed, trying to lighten the mood. Synovi frowned. “Fuck no. I’d never wife you.” Jade gasped loudly. “Why would you say that?” She couldn’t help but laugh at his insolent response. “Look what we doing. Your husband is better than me; that’s all I’ma say. I’ma text you, though,” he said, grabbing his bags off the concrete.

“True, but I know my worth, too,” he said. Ms. Reid nodded her head. “I don’t doubt that you do. Settling is never the route to take, but settling for the moment in order to get to what you actually want… there’s nothing wrong with that. You haven’t even gotten the job yet, and you’re already thinking negatively. Shake that off. We don’t do that in here.”

“Nah. You don’t unless you been by yourself all your life, trying to figure it out. I ain’t ever been in a position to just be good or make it on my own. I always needed something from somebody. Mothafuckas who probably don’t even care.” “I care, so let’s start there. Life is rough, Synovi. You and I both know that, but does that mean we stop working hard for what we want? Absolutely not. What’d you just tell me? You know your worth? Well, act like it. Don’t be ashamed of needing help. That’s what me and other people are here for. Being prideful will get you nowhere, and you have places to be. Goals to scratch off this list,” she said, sliding a piece of paper in front of him.

“Not you remembering I said that and calling me out.” She chuckled. “I don’t forget much. Only things that don’t matter.” “Oh. So, I matter to you?” “You can try to.”

The way he lowly grumbled her name made her body shudder. She giggled as her frame literally quivered in front of him. “Boy, don’t say my name like that. I almost forgot I promised to keep things professional between us.” She laughed, and Synovi put an end to the sound immediately. “Promises can be broken.”

Torin climbed in the seat and licked her lips. “I only got in here because I don’t know what type of situation you got going on and I am a little tipsy, but know this. If you don’t handle her, I will.” When she patted her purse, Synovi got the hint immediately.

“Any mention of my dick shouldn’t come from your mouth unless that’s where you want it to be.”

Lifting, he used all four pads of his fingers to rub her clit in a quick manner. “Mhm,” he hummed as she lightly squirted. “There you go. You got all this built-up tension and need a nigga to drain you of it.”

“You playing with it; gon’ show me what you can do on it,” Synovi spoke huskily.

“Oh, my Goooood!” Synovi yanked her ponytail, making her scream in ecstasy again. “I’m sure He hears you. Shut up and take this dick.” The gruffness of his voice in her ear chilled her spine.

“Don’t act clueless. Your pops owns the place, so you know exactly what type of nigga you dealing with.” “And what kind is that, hmm?” she pressed, grabbing his chin to make him face her. His discomfited eyes made her heart ache. “One who’s trying his best and just needed a little push? One who is making a way even when it probably seems like there isn’t one. Don’t play with me and speak down on yourself. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

I’m just saying, it looks mapped out. Y’all got something against me?” “No, Synovi. Sometimes, God places the right people in your life at a time you need them the most.”

“I don’t know who any of those other folks are, but it’s clear they weren’t meant to be anywhere near you. They added no value to the man you are and don’t deserve to live inside your head and play a role in the man you’re becoming. Fuck ’em.”

“Why do you call me that?” “What? Love?” She nodded her head and rubbed up and down his stomach. “Mhm.” “’Cause that’s what you are,” he replied with ease. “That’s what you feel like.”

“A’ight, man.” Synovi laughed. “Anything else? You holding my line up. Go work it out with your husband and figure out why that nigga can’t keep his dick up. I’m tired of doing his job.” Jade’s mouth fell open. “You disrespectful mothafucka! Wait until I—” Synovi hung up in her face and grumbled, “My name ain’t mothafucka.”

Unique’s smile didn’t leave her face. She waited for Synovi to place all of his things outside of the main door and go inside before she backed out. Him answering her calls was enough for Unique, but to have him trust her for a ride and show his gratitude had her over the moon. It was baby steps, and she’d gladly take them.

“Heard them broke niggas got the best dick.” Synovi shrugged, making Jade pop her head up so quickly. Now, why did he have to go and say that? “What’d you just say?” Silas asked through gritted teeth. Synovi tugged his sweats up. “You heard me, bitch ass nigga. You talking real slick to a broke boy who done been all through your crib, nutted on them hundred dollar sheets, know where you get your clothes dry cleaned and fucked your wife like the slut she is. Broke or not, you and I both know why she cheated on your cornball ass. I been busting her lil’ ass down for months, something you can’t do.”

Torin embraced Synovi right there on her doorstep as he fell into her and wept. His cries rocked the depths of her soul, forcing tears to slide down her face. Synovi’s body crumbled, seemingly like his world, and Torin was right there to pick him up. “I got you,” she cooed softly, rubbing his back. Synovi hoped she did because he didn’t have himself.

“Huh? I don’t hear you. You gon’ let the sins of your parents stop you from being great?” GiGi repeated. “No.” “Well, act like it then! If God isn’t punishing you for them, why do you think you should be? Get your tail up. If I have to take this shuttle over there with Carolynn’s behind, I will.” “I thought you didn’t like her,” Synovi said. “I will today to make sure you’re out of that bed. Try me and see. And Torin, don’t be over there babying him, letting him boss you around. Pop that titty out of his mouth!” Torin covered her mouth and giggled. “Okay, GiGi.” “Okay, nothing. I’m calling back in twenty minutes after I smoke my pen, and it better sound like y’all are alive over there. Done stressed me out on this nice day. Now, bye!” GiGi hung up on them, and Synovi finally cracked a grin. “I guess we need to get up,” Torin suggested.

“It’s not ending,” Torin said, climbing to her knees. “This is the beginning of you taking back control of every situation you’ve had no say so over. I know you’re hurting and things don’t make sense, but they never will if you sit in your sorrows. You’ve worked so hard to get out of that dark hole; why do you want to go back there?” “It’s all I know,” Synovi sighed. “There’s no love there.” Synovi sat up in the bed. Those four words slapped him across the face. “There’s no you there, either.” Torin gave him a smile and rubbed his cheek. “Exactly. So, quit trying to escape to a place you don’t feel wanted.”

Synovi laughed. “It’s the truth, though. Even when I’m inside of you, I know you gon’ bring a nigga to the light, no matter what.” “So, I’m light, too, now?” “Light and Love… the only thing I need.”

He watched as she walked into the bathroom and smirked before calling her name. “Love.” “Hmm?” she asked, turning to face him. “Thank you for being here. I ’preciate you like crazy.” Her heart warmed. “I love you, too.” She spoke the words with so much sincerity and ease, Synovi had no reason not to believe her. “Since when?” “Day four.” Torin chuckled.

Torin had brought him out of that dark place and Synovi wanted to do nothing more than give her what she deserved… some light, too. She couldn’t be the only one illuminating the world. It was time for them to shine together.

“You think so?” Synovi questioned. “I know so. Don’t look at this situation as a setback, only a setup for something much greater. You are going to receive all the things God has in store for you. This just wasn’t one of them.”

Synovi opened his arms. She hugged him tightly, making Synovi feel like he could break down, but he stood tall and held his emotions in. When they pulled away, Ms. Reid’s eyes were watery. “Man, I know you ain’t crying,” Synovi said. “No. There’s just something in my eye.” He knew she was lying, but let her make it. Ms. Reid looked at Synovi as a younger brother she just wanted to see win in life. Her heart ached for him like an old wound on a rainy day. No matter how long ago the scar had healed, on those gloomy days of downpours, it’d remind you it was still there. In Synovi’s case, he was the wound that wouldn’t heal completely, forcing Ms. Reid to hate rainy days.

“He shouldn’t have to!” Ms. Reid shouted, making everyone’s eyes widen. “You come in here some days with a bad attitude and not wanting to be bothered, but do we just ignore you and tell you to figure things out? No! We give you grace and help you. That’s what makes this organization run. The beauty of community and understanding. That’s what makes men like Synovi trust us enough to help him. But the first time he does something that could be overlooked and discussed more, we forget all his hard work. Just throw him back out there to the same streets that never have or will care about him. Is that what Solace Place is about now? Is that our mission?”

“I’m upset that as a Black-owned organization, knowing what our Black men go through daily, we’re moving as if their lives don’t matter. As if this world hasn’t made them want to fight for their place in society for decades. As if a Black man who runs this place doesn’t know what it feels like not to have anything. So, no. I’m not just upset about him having to leave or that his housing won’t be covered. I’m pissed off because, for once in his life, Synovi felt like he could depend on somebody, and we failed him. I don’t care about him fighting or any of that because, at the end of the day, if any of you were in his shoes, you’d be fighting to keep your head above water as well.” Ms. Reid stared all of them down, daring them to utter a rebuttal, but no one made a peep. Her point was made, and her heart still ached. That was okay with her, though, because she knew standing up for the voiceless, like Synovi, would force some change to take place. She’d never feel bad about speaking up for herself or others in their absence. Integrity was foreign nowadays, and Ms. Reid would forever be the reminder that it existed.

This entire situation is sick, she thought.

“So, I’m just supposed to cut DJ off because I no longer deal with his father or auntie?” she questioned. “People hold on to the good things they know they can keep… not have to give back.”

“Yeah, nigga,” D’Marco spoke with booming sureness. “Watch and see. Good shit be happening to good people. Sometimes it just takes a lil’ minute to reach you. You know… after all the bad you don’ been through wears off.” He chuckled, humored by his mashup of words.

Torin didn’t know what getting rest meant until she had no choice but to do just that.

“Trying to control how a person treats you after you mistreated them never ends well. It just turns into a bunch of hurt feelings on both sides when communicating to understand should’ve been the goal.”