Keep You To Myself (Unorthodox Love, #1)

by BriAnn Danae

“Thank you for these. I can’t wait to suck your pussy dry and really let you feel my appreciation. You’re a blessing, Love.”

Your fear of rejection will keep hindering your success if you don’t just do it.

Synovi was an attentive lover,

He was only reciprocating the love she gave to him tenfold.

“Why do you call me that?” “What? Love?”

“’Cause that’s what you are,” he replied with ease. “That’s what you feel like.”

Synovi was her baby, and she’d go to war with anyone for him, including the man who impregnated her and left her for dead.

“Unique, what the fuck did you just do?” Synovi fussed. “I just killed your father.”

Synovi only wanted to be around love.

His, Love.

headed to the only place he knew there was peace at.

For years, he’d been searching for it, only to keep coming up short.

It wasn’t that way with Torin, though. She sent a boat with a life jacket to save her man from drowning in the same waters that kept trying to take him under. Torin wasn’t letting this world wash away Synovi’s existence if she had any say so. It needed his light, even when all he saw was darkness.

“I need you, Love. I’m hurting so bad right now.”

If God isn’t punishing you for them, why do you think you should be?

“It’s not ending,” Torin said, climbing to her knees. “This is the beginning of you taking back control of every situation you’ve had no say so over. I know you’re hurting and things don’t make sense, but they never will if you sit in your sorrows. You’ve worked so hard to get out of that dark hole; why do you want to go back there?”

“There’s no love there.”

“There’s no you there, either.”

Don’t look at this situation as a setback, only a setup for something much greater. You are going to receive all the things God has in store for you. This just wasn’t one of them.”

“I’m upset that as a Black-owned organization, knowing what our Black men go through daily, we’re moving as if their lives don’t matter. As if this world hasn’t made them want to fight for their place in society for decades. As if a Black man who runs this place doesn’t know what it feels like not to have anything. So, no. I’m not just upset about him having to leave or that his housing won’t be covered. I’m pissed off because, for once in his life, Synovi felt like he could depend on somebody, and we failed him. I don’t care about him fighting or any of that because, at the end of the day, if any of you were in his shoes, you’d be fighting to keep your head above water as well.”

Unique chuckled.

It was a trauma response, along with other things. There were no guidelines when it came to trauma responses or a grieving period.

Never been the type of nigga to lose something worth keeping.

“People hold on to the good things they know they can keep… not have to give back.”

He was worried Torin would realize he wasn’t worth keeping and dump him to the wayside like everyone else. Synovi couldn’t tell her that, though, and he didn’t have to.

When something foreign enters your life so unexpectedly, it's easy to detect how it changes you. It rearranges the wires in your brain, forcing you to think, see, act, and feel differently.

Torin was that foreign thing, and Synovi couldn’t believe she’d broken through almost every barrier he’d tried to keep up.

Wanting to do for someone who did for everyone else was just the half Synovi felt for Torin. Falling for her wasn’t in the plans, but he was in too deep to turn back now. Torin had him immersed, floating freely in all her light and love. Waves of Torin crashed into him, and instead of flowing with them, Synovi had the urge to fight against them.

It was a battle, and the thought of swimming back to shore for safety hadn’t crossed his mind in a while, but today it had. Drowning wasn’t an option, knowing the only person who could save him might be liable to go under as well.

Good shit be happening to good people. Sometimes it just takes a lil’ minute to reach you.

“Trying to control how a person treats you after you mistreated them never ends well. It just turns into a bunch of hurt feelings on both sides when communicating to understand should’ve been the goal.”

“A person will settle being somewhere as long as they feel an inkling of love. You know that?”

“Put up with any ol’ thang believing that that’s all their worth. And don’t know any better ‘cause no one ever showed them differently. But then, by the grace of God, someone does.”

“Knowing and showing are two different meanings. You can’t consistently tell someone you care about them and then turn around and do something to hurt them. You think that’s fair?”

“Synovi loves you.”

you’re the closest thing to home for him besides me. You’re supposed to always take care of your home and everyone in it. He trusts you, and that’s saying a lot.”

Trauma doesn’t heal itself overnight.

It's a constant journey of learning and relearning yourself and the people you invite into your world to share the experience with you.

She needed to remind him that the moniker he gave her was for a reason.

“Because… I hurt your feelings, and that’s not what I was trying to do. You didn’t have to leave. You don’t ever have to leave. No one is taking your place, and I hate that me not telling you about my ex put this distance between us. I don’t like it. I miss you so much, and everything just went wrong because of me.”

“But then, you wouldn’t let up. I had to tell myself that not everyone is out to do me wrong. That your past, like mine, shouldn’t be held against you. I had a lapse in judgment, but that was me battling my own insecurities. Childhood traumas I’m still working on getting through,”

“Felt like that’s what you wanted me to do. So, instead of waiting for you to hand me my walking papers, I saved myself the embarrassment.”

Torin pulled him tighter to her, wanting to mesh their bodies together. “I didn’t want that, but I see why you thought I did. There won’t be a next time, so I’m sorry for not being more cognizant of your feelings. Why would I want to give you away? I thought you were mine to keep?”

“I want you all to my-mothafuckin’-self. If I sound selfish, it’s because I finally can be. Especially with you.”

“Okay,” Torin said softly as if in a daze. “Yours. I don’t want nobody else but you.”

“Good. ’Cause I’m a nigga worth keepin’. Now, plug my...

“Thank you for seeing the greatness in me, despite fighting through the darkness. You’ve pushed me to want more out of life and saw the potential in me that everyone else overlooked. SB’s Cleaning Service is what it is today because of you, and I’m so thankful for you, Love. Everyone needs a you on their team, but that’s too bad ’cause I’m keeping you all to myself.”

Understanding a person with a good heart was hard to comprehend some days. He had to train his mind to know that she didn’t want anything in return; just him.

Everything she gave him only intensified when it was time for him to reciprocate.

It had no room to grow where he was and planned on going.