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Wake up, I think. Wake up and drive me crazy.
I could drown in the taste of his mouth,
“If you keep track of the dates we do this,” I say, “I will have to kill you.” He grins. “I’m drafting a ledger this very moment.” “You are not.”
He clears his throat. “I’m hesitant to criticize the king—” “Are you?” I say. “Are you truly hesitant?” “—but all this staring is rather distracting.” “You are rather distracting.” I snatch the book out of his hands.
“Until you kissed me like it would save your life? Yes. I would’ve taken it right to the grave.”
“I could order you to do it,” I whisper. A light sparks in his eye. “If you want to order me to do things, I can personally assure you there are better options.”
I’ve won over the Wilds. My heart pounds. Now I just need to win over the sectors.
It’s terrifying to consider how fragile loyalty is. My father taught me so many things about being a king, but never this.
Maybe it’s the thought that I might have been helping his family as Weston Lark—only to lock him up for execution as Prince Corrick.
Those words force me still, because aside from losing Tessa, this is truly my greatest fear. Harristan would give him anything he asked for.
He swears again. “Fine. There’s plenty of liquor in the chests from the ship. Get two bottles.” “Two?” “Yeah,” he says roughly. “One is for me.”
“Stay close, Miss Tessa.” I pause with my hand on the frame. “I will.” “I promised him I would keep you safe, too. I have to keep one promise.”
“Corrick wasn’t my husband,” I say, and my voice breaks. “But I loved him.” The tears spill over. “I loved him so much.”
Once we’re outside again, he all but pokes me in the arm. “What on earth did you write that made him so angry?” he demands. “I said, ‘It’s me, you arrogant prick.’ ” “Nice opening.” “Thank you. Then I said, ‘Tell Tessa I’m alive. Tell her I said, “Mind your mettle.” Ask her if it’s really me. You’ll have your answer.’ ”
He pauses. “At the risk of being an annoying big brother again, it’s good to see you smile.” Emotion catches in my throat and sticks there. “That’s not annoying.” I take a bite of the bread just to have something else to focus on.
again. “I’m really glad I met you,” I say. She smiles. “Even though I was shooting at you?” “That might be my favorite part.” I give her a sly glance. “Erik’s too. He said it’s hard not to like a woman who can handle a crossbow.” “Did he!” I nod.
Do you think they deserve it? I said. I was talking about the prisoners sentenced to die. I think that very few people truly deserve what they get, he said. For good or for bad. You only deserve good things, I told him—before I knew he was the prince I hated. Before I knew he was only doing those things because he had a kingdom to protect.
Is this my fate? To have everyone I love taken away from me?
I watch, entranced. I simply cannot comprehend how he manages to be so kind and so vexing and so determined—and so optimistic.
You’re so much more than pleasing to look at. You’re brilliant. You’re flawless. You’re exquisite. Have you not noticed the effort it takes to summon words when I look at you?
“When she brought dinner,” he says, “I told her she doesn’t need to keep running from me like she’s tossing food to a wolf.” “And how did she respond?” A light sparks in his eye, and he lays down a five of hearts. “She said, ‘Maybe I like wolves.’ ”
Every time we gain a little ground, they manage to gain more.”
I could have at least told her I loved her. Mind your mettle. I’m such a fool.
Blue eyes daring mine. Corrick offering me his dagger, when I was terrified of everything I’d learned. Offering me escape. Oh, Corrick. My love. I miss him so much that my heart aches. I can hear his voice, smell his scent, feel his touch. I’d give anything for him to be here now.
“Still breathing.”
“No, my love.” He takes my hand, and he brings it to his face. He kisses my fingertips, then presses my palm to his cheek. “Very much alive, I promise you.”
“I don’t want you to disappear,” I say, and then I realize I’m crying in earnest. “I won’t,” he says. “Never again. I swear it.” He leans down to kiss me. “I swear to you. Never again.”
The glow from the fire was supposed to defy the night eternally, a symbol of love built by my great-grandfather for his wife.
I want to inhale her breath until the end of time. I want to make sure no one ever takes her away from me again.
The glow of fire lights the sky before long, and Tessa gasps. Smoke begins to obscure the moon.
“If only we had masks, it would be like old times,” she says, a little breathless from the effort. I look at the faint tracing of her profile in the moonlight. “I like it better this way.”
I have Thorin and Saeth at the wall, with Quint seated beside me, his book and pencil ready. I’m so grateful for his presence, and I realize I’ve always been grateful for his presence.
As I near the end, I look out the window at the darkness, thinking back on every moment I spent with my brother at my side. Every moment we’ll never have again. And it gives me an idea.
Then my hands are on the bare skin of his chest, and he buries his fingers in my hair, and suddenly I’m drowning in the taste of his mouth.
I’ve never felt so cherished, so loved, so adored.
We have so many moments, so many memories, and this one etches its way right to the top.
“For Kandala,” he says. I nod. “For Kandala.” Then I strike the match.
My dear brother. I keep thinking of the last words you said to me when you left Kandala. “Be here when I get back.” Cory, please forgive me. I’m so sorry I won’t be.
My dearest friend, you will make a fine king. I hope you understand why I couldn’t leave him alone during his finest hour. I read it a dozen times, wishing for more. My brother is dead. My best friend is dead.
I have no one to punish, no vengeance to chase, no way to ease this pain. I simply have a kingdom that’s practically in shambles.
It’s late and I’m tired and my brother is dead.
“I know,” he says, and his voice is so very quiet. “I should have been here,” I say, the words a desperate gasp. “I know.” “I could have helped him.” “I know.” “I tried to get back as quickly as I could.” “And you did.”
She wraps herself around me at night and allows me to whisper my fears.
word has spread that the king and Palace Master sacrificed themselves to stop the poisonings and save all of Kandala, so as time passes, Harristan is viewed as a hero in most people’s eyes, not a traitor.
He catches my hand and turns me back around. Without hesitation, he drops to one knee. There’s a ring in his hand, and a determined look in his eye. “Tessa Cade,” he says, “I’m ready now.”
We stare at each other, and I remember something Quint said to me, the night I met Laurel. Don’t let them make you cynical, my dear.
