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for what? So you could fuck me? You wanted to sniff good pussy that bad?”
“My struggles with him were not for your gain! I didn’t share that with you for you to use it against me!”
but you know I’m big dawg, my nigga.”
did the same thing, just with heightened emotions. I was afraid, Walker. I’ve never been in love. I’ve never wanted to be in love, and it scared me thinking you could never love me back.”
“You found a beautiful family that loves you so much.
You made me a grandma, and I’m loving every second of it. The way Jamison loves and protects you is everything I wished for, for you, baby.”
A beautiful dress for the most beautiful woman in my world. I hope tonight is the rebirth of something equally beautiful between us. I love you. I’m ready to commit to you and to us. Tonight is just the beginning… Love, Walker
“You deserve all of me, Ja. I don’t want to give you bits and pieces anymore. I’m gonna prove to you that I am worthy of being your man. You won’t regret giving us a real chance.”
don’t mind flying out when I can, to be by your side, but you have to do this for you. You’re a beast on stage. That’s where you flourish; it’s your passion. You don’t give that up for anything.”
“I’m loving this side of you. All soft and shit.” I chuckled. “I can commit to being soft for you. Nobody else.”
“Just be soft when I need it. I still love the joke cracking, shit talking, aggravating Walker Jareau. Make sure he never leaves.” “I got you, baby.”
get on my knees for you, to make up for it.”
She was gentle with me… loving in ways I didn’t realize I loved or needed until I didn’t have it anymore. How could I have missed what was happening between us? Following our last strife, my ego was bruised. I put on a façade, but inside, I was feeling the pain from that shit.
We can’t change the past, Ja. We can’t live there either.”
“I want you to feel every ounce of pleasure as meticulously as possible.”
Nobody had ever made love to me. I never had the desire to be made love to either.
“Tell me you’re mine, Jorja,” he whispered in my ear. “I need you, baby. I can’t be just your friend. I can’t let any other nigga have you when you’re supposed to be mine. Tell me you’re mine, Ja.” “I’m yours… I’m all yours…”
Love isn’t supposed to feel like that. It’s supposed to be one of the most natural feelings in the world. When two people genuinely love each other, it’s so simple to show that shit. It doesn’t always have to be verbal. Do little things. Acknowledge subtle changes like when she gets her nails or eyebrows down. Women love to know you’re paying attention to them, and I’m not talking about ass and titties, Walker.”
Good people are hard to replace. An ex or two realized that a little too late. Once I’m done with you, I’m done. Our purpose in each other’s lives have been fulfilled, and I’m gone.”
“Calm down, killa. I got you. I’m your man. You’re my woman. I love you, stink.”
It was crazy how embracing our true feelings for each other sparked a change in the way we interacted. It was still that aggressive shit I liked, but it was indeed cute. Who would have thought?
J. Howell and Dondria’s “Why You Love Me.”
Find you someone safe to play with, baby.”
The changes in Walker would never go unnoticed. He wasn't the same guy looking to get me into his bed. I wasn't the same girl looking to get him into mine. We were both growing up, even if it had been at a different pace to begin with. Growth and change were both so scary, but the results… the results were so beautiful.
“My point is,” he continued, “I miss your presence. I know it might be soon in asking, but we’ve wasted enough time. If we are gonna do this, I want to be all in.”
“Promise me we won’t go back to the way we were. I don’t have it in me to go through the petty, toxic shit again. Coming to terms with my feelings was hard for me. Feeling love for a man outside of family relationships is foreign. I know it won’t be perfect. I know we’ll have our share of ups and downs. Just promise me… at the end of the day, we’ll always remember to put love first.”
“I've always told you that you were gonna be my wife. So tonight in front of all of our family, I want to make good on that promise.
I love you so much more than you know.”
The room sounded with agreement. I had to admit, they were all rooting for us, even when we were sabotaging things at every turn. This year had been a learning experience. We learned to communicate. We learned to be unselfish… We learned to love in a capacity neither of us knew was possible. If that wasn’t growth, I didn’t know what was.
“I know we’ve shared so much of our life and relationship with others, so I wanted this to be a moment just for us. Jorja Monae Sandifer… you really fucked me up, love. I wasn’t looking for anything serious, and then you came along… the blue-haired beauty that stole my heart before I thought I was ready to hand over the reins. I’ve loved
you since before I could admit it to myself. You’re my best friend… my lover… my partner in crime. “Thank you for making me grow up. Thank you for opening my eyes to everything that was and had always been right in front of me. Losing you once taught me that I could and would never lose you again, Ja. You make me better, and I always want to give you the best of me because, baby, you deserve it.”
“You deserve your flowers every day. I had to play catch up, but there is a flower in here for every single day you’ve been a part of my life. I love you, Jorja. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. I know I haven’t always been deserving, but I’ll spend eternity showing you that giving me a second chance wasn’t a mistake. Will you marry me, Ja?”
“Yes. I needed the blessing of two of the most important people in your life. I even went as far as asking for permission from my father, ’cause you know that man loves him some you.” “He does.” She smiled brightly. “And I love me some you. Let’s get out of here. Once we leave your parents’ house, we are having our own little celebration.”
She kissed me again, this time slow and sensual. I won’t lie; a nigga’s heart was so full right now. Who would have thought Walker Jareau would be getting married? This was the final end of an era… the burial of a player.
