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I love this man with every beat of my reckless heart, which would be his if he’d simply stop keeping all his secrets and let me know him.
“I need you to be able to defend yourself no matter what happens. You’re not the only one with bad dreams, you know.”
I love him. No matter what he’s done or why he did it, I still love him, and I know he cares about me.
My signet is stronger because Cruth was my great-aunt’s dragon. But she’s not a direct descendant, so I don’t have to worry about going mad like those whose dragons bond in the direct familial line. Dragons aren’t supposed to even get close to family lines for that exact reason—like they listen to human rules.”
After we placed the last rune, we placed the wardstone where the dragons felt the deepest currents of magic run,’” I translate slowly to Xaden, then glance up. “I might be off a word or two, but it’s here!” I flip another few pages. “‘That last step complete, the protections fell into place at…’” My face scrunches as I work out the rest. “‘…at the birth of an iron rain.’”
“This is it.” I hand it to Xaden. “Take this to Brennan. He should be able to translate it. They won’t expect you to leave until morning, so you can get out of here without being searched if you head out now, and splitting up the journals means we can read them twice as fast.”
“There’s nowhere in existence you could go that I wouldn’t find you, remember?”
“You’ll lose everything you’ve worked for.” My voice breaks. “Because of me.” “Then I’ll have everything I need.” He lowers his face, leaning in so he’s all I see, all I feel. “I will happily watch Aretia burn to the fucking ground again if it means you live.”
“You want to know something true? Something real? I love you. I’m in love with you. I have been since the night the snow fell in your hair and you kissed me for the first time. I’m grateful my life is tied to yours because it means I won’t have to face a day without you in it. My heart only beats as long as yours does, and when you die, I’ll meet Malek at your side. It’s a damned good thing that you love me, too, because you’re stuck with me in this life and every other that could possibly follow.”
“It won’t be safe here for you. Not after what you just did.” I look to Dain and lift my brows. It’s one thing to protect me in private, or to face down my mother, whom he’s known his entire life. It’s another to be known as the rider who ripped this place apart.
This right here makes everything worth it. The world could disintegrate around us and I’m not sure I’d notice—or care—as long as I have him in my arms.
“What you want to be doesn’t change what you are without work.”
He might be a weapon, but I’m a natural disaster.
“My house. My chair. My woman.”
And then I’d kick his ass, partially because that’s what I do when someone challenges me, and more importantly for implying there’s any other future besides the one where you and I are endgame.”
I settle in against his warmth and lay my head on his chest, above the most comforting rhythm in the world besides Tairn’s and Andarna’s wingbeats—Xaden’s heart.
“Less than a minute,” Xaden whispers as Sgaeyl moves toward him—toward us. “That’s how long it took for you to fall out of love with me.”
“My love isn’t fickle.”
How ironic to celebrate a monumental victory and still feel like I’ve lost something precious.
I’m just not sure how many this-times I have in me, no matter how much I love him.
I glance up at the clock. It’s not even eight yet, which means I can keep my mantra for the next few hours. I will not die today. I can’t say the same about tomorrow.
“But I know I can’t live without you, so trust me when I say there’s a very real, very loud part of me screaming to carry you out of here and fly for Aretia.”
We have tried every method we know of, as you requested. There is no cure. There is only control. —Missive from Lieutenant Colonel Nolon Colbersy to General Lilith Sorrengail
Foreshadowing? I have a pretty big theory on this. Guess we will see if I’m right by the end of the series 😬
