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“You don’t get to shut me out, Shannon. You don’t get to do that to me again, because I won’t go this time. Do you hear me? I’m here, I’m in, I care, and I’m not going the fuck away.”
A pained groan tore from his throat. “Yeah, I care.” He leaned closer. “I care so fucking much I can hardly breathe.”
“I’m not like him, Shannon. I won’t ever hurt you. I couldn’t. Not in any shape or form.”
“I drove you back to that house,” he groaned, distressed. “I watched you walk into that fucking house and I went home to a warm, safe bed, knowing in my heart something wasn’t right but not opening my mind enough to see it!” Shaking his head, he released a frustrated growl. “I am so fucking sorry. You didn’t deserve to have another person let you down.”
“But I need you to know that you’re not on your own in this. Not anymore.” His voice was steady and strong now. “You have me.” My heart leapt in my chest. “I do?” “Absolutely.”
“I’m here,” he whispered, stroking my nose with his. “And I’m going nowhere.”
“Step the fuck back?” My mouth fell open. “You planning on throwing down, Ma?”
“Hi, Johnny,” she whispered, tumbling off the door step as she clung to me. “You came back.” “Hi, Shannon.” My crutches fell to the ground as I wrapped my arms around her body, holding her in place. “I promised I would,” I replied, keeping my eyes narrowed and locked on her brother.
“To get time with you. To just be with you, and now I have you here?” His hand snaked out and entwined with mine. “Where I know you’re safe? All I want to do is just…” Shaking his head, he pulled me closer. “Keep you right here with me and never give you back.”
“You love his sister, and I love his sister’s best friend,” Gibsie replied, scrubbing Joey down with a sponge. “It’s safe to say that pussy got us into this, Kav.”
“That’s it,” Gibsie coaxed, dabbing his mouth once more. “Puke out all the expensive Class A drugs. Good job. Let the water wash your sins and wages down the drain.”
“Keep that pretty head of yours up, Shannon like the river.” Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, he grazed my cheek with his knuckles.
“I need you to take the lead here, Shannon,” he whispered. “You need to tell me what you want from me.” I could feel his heart hammering hard in his chest. The rhythm seemed to match mine. “Because I’m not making any mistakes with you.”
“I’m going to buy you dinner, Shannon.” Closing the space between us, he lowered himself down on the couch and turned to face me. “Sometimes we’ll eat here and sometimes we’ll go out, but it’s going to be a regular occurrence, so don’t overthink it, okay?”
“Come here,” he said instead, lifting his arm. “Let me keep you warm.”
It’s the fact that I’ve spent days rehearsing what I want to say to you in my head, and now I can’t get the words out.
“Fuck it—”
“Ah, fuck it—” And then he was back, kissing me, moving against me, making me shiver and tremble.
“I don’t just like you. I fucking—” Shaking his head, Johnny rubbed his jaw before looking back at me. “Shannon, I love you.” I stopped breathing. “You love me?” He nodded slowly, blue eyes locked on mine. “Like, a crazy fucking amount.” “Really?” “Really,” he confirmed. “And I’d ask your permission, but I didn’t even ask mine.”
“I’m in love with you. I think I’ve been that way for a while now—a long fucking while, if we’re being totally honest.”
“What do you need from me, Shannon?” he croaked out, voice thick and husky. “I’ll give you anything you need, baby.” Shaking his head, he groaned like he was in pain. “I just…I want to make you happy.” “You,” I whispered. “All of you.” “I’m already yours,” he groaned, before covering my lips with his.
Problem was, my heart was screaming another plan entirely. I needed to think about the consequences, but they just wouldn’t come to me.
“Shannon Lynch?” I called out, ignoring the rest of her fucked-up family. “I love you back.” Sniffling, she lifted her chin from Joey’s chest and looked at me all red-eyed and blotchy. “S-still?” “Still.” I nodded in confirmation. “Like, a crazy fucking amount.”
A crazy fucking amount. X
“Sometimes you have to be a bad bastard when you’re dealing with a bad bitch.”
“Don’t do that to me, Shannon—don’t block me out. Don’t give me you last weekend and then take it away again. I’m the same me from that night in my house. I’m the same me from every other time we’ve been together. So don’t put a wall up between us, not when you’ve already let me climb over it.”
“Right about what?” “I’m right about you.”
“But I am a bad idea for you, Johnny,” I replied shakily, needing him to hear me, giving him the out that, if he had sense, he would take. “I’m a lot of trouble.” “I like your trouble,” he countered, stepping closer. “My life is complicated.” “I want your complications.” My breath escaped in a rush. “You do?”
“You asked me what I wanted? There’s a lot of things, but in a nutshell, I just want you.” Shrugging, he added, “And I’m kind of hoping that you’re going to say that you want me, too.”
“Wait, wait, wait—” Breaking the kiss, Johnny stared down at me, breathing hard. “You’re my girlfriend now, right?”
“I suppose now’s a good time to tell you that I get a little obsessed with the things I love, huh?”
“I just want to be with you.” He shrugged almost helplessly. “All the fucking time.”
“I’m not hanging around with you, Shannon. I’m with you,”
“I’m serious,” he shot back, keeping his eyes trained on the large container of condoms on the desk. I studied his face. “Jesus, you are serious.” “They’re mine,” he replied, grinning devilishly. “And I’m taking them all.”
“Take the condoms or I’ll make a scene.” “Fine!” Grabbing two fistfuls of foil packets, I shoved them into my pockets and glared at him. “Happy now?”
“Life has its own built-in weighing scales.” He shrugged. “It can’t be all bad all of the time, the same as it can’t be all good. Something’s got to give.”
“It’s like a Great Dane and a Chihuahua trying to mate, but they somehow make it work.”
“Until one day I looked up from my life and there you were. All blue eyes and full of secrets.” He cleared his throat several times before saying, “And I’ve never felt more connected.”
“That from the very first day you walked into my life, you changed me. That very first time I saw you? You sparked to life something inside of me.” Releasing a heavy sigh, he shrugged again, eyes locked on mine. “And I haven’t been the same since.”
“You make me happy,” he whispered. “I want to stick with that. I want to stick with you.”
“Take your fucking sperm off my ass right this instant!” “No,” I choked out through fits of laughter. “You came on my fucking ass!” he roared. “Your cum is touching my body.”
The way she held me, clung to me like I was her lifeline, well, that evoked emotions inside of me I wasn’t sure I was old enough to feel. And I didn’t mean sex. It was deeper. A cord of connection channeling deep inside of me and linking to her. I hoped she never left me, because I was never going to get over this girl.
When he opened that car door, I didn’t need to ask any questions before climbing inside because I knew I would go anywhere with him. Whether he knew it or not, he had offered me a temporary lifeline and I had grabbed it with both hands.
We spent the day doing absolutely nothing and that meant absolutely everything to me.
meant it when I said I need you for keeps.”
“I’m going to keep you,” he whispered and his hot breath fanned my face. “If that’s okay?” “That’s definitely okay,” I breathed, pressing my hand to his cheek. “I want you to keep me.” He smiled, dimples deepening. “Thank fuck for that.” Pressing a kiss to the curve of his swollen lips, I whispered, “I’ll keep you, too.”
“I’m on your team,” he added huskily. “Do you get that? I’m totally with you, Shannon Lynch. One call, that’s all you need to make, and I’ll come. I won’t let you down, and I won’t leave you alone in this. I promise.”
“I’m not in your corner, Shannon,” Johnny replied in a gruff tone. “I’m standing right beside you.”
“He walks his cat.” Lizzie rolled onto her side to gape at Claire. “With a glittery, jewel-encrusted collar and lead.” Narrowing her eyes, she said, “Please don’t tell me you think that’s normal.”
“I’m keeping you, Shannon Lynch.”
