Saving 6 (Boys of Tommen, #3)

by Chloe Walsh

What’s he being accused of?” “Assault,” the Garda replied, looking a little uncomfortable. “Assault, eh?” He turned his gaze on Joey. “Did ya do it, boy?” “Sure did, Daddy,” Joey sneered as tension emanated from his body. “Then do whatever the fuck you want with the little bollox,” his father told the Gard. “Let the courts deal with him. Just don’t expect me to come down to the station to bring him home like the last time.” He turned back to Joey and called out, “Do ya hear that, ya little fucker? Don’t you be phoning your mother up to come save ya, either. You can clean up your own mess this time.”

“You need to run.” She shook her head. “I don’t run.” “Run,” I desperately urged. “Run, Molloy.” “I’m staying right here,” she whispered. “With you.” “Molloy.”

“Don’t worry, Peter Pan, I’ll be your Wendy.”

“I’m n-not w-worth getting h-hurt over.” “You are worth it,” I roared back, shoving the front door open. “Of course you’re fucking worth it, Shannon. You’re worth a thousand of that piece of shit, and don’t you ever let him make you feel anything less!”

“That’s yer man, isn’t it? The lad from that fancy rugby academy,” Podge offered, inclining his head to where a tall, dark-haired lad about our age was leaning against the bar, deep in conversation with the owner of Biddies. “What’s his name again?” “Johnny Kavanagh,” I filled in, having recognized him the minute he walked through the door earlier with his army of wealthy pals in tow.

Jhonnyyyyyyy!!!!!!

“Howdy, lovebirds. Don’t mind me. I’m just on my way to send a salmon up the river.” “Oh my god!” I choked out, hands moving to push my dress back down as Joey reluctantly tore his hand away. Furious, Joey swung around to glare at the huge blond guy in a Tommen uniform who was grinning at us.

Gibsieeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

“Excuse my flanker,” he told us as he led the blond lad back toward the lounge. “He’s like a bleeding Labrador. Completely harmless, with zero awareness of social cues and etiquette.”

OMGGGGGG MY BOYSSSSSS

When we were together, it wasn’t because I was out of my mind and trying to float away in the moment. Being with her made me want to keep a clear head because I wanted to remember her. I wanted to be in the moment with her and not just float through it. Because she was Molloy. My friend. Maybe even my best friend.

“Oh, Jesus.” “Not Jesus, just Joey.”

“But don’t ever think that I don’t have feelings,” he said, and then pressed a kiss to my mouth. “Because the only time that I allow myself to feel anything is when I’m with you.”

“If you’re in my heart, then I’m in your ass.” “Oh, cop on,” I growled, narrowing my eyes. “That’s not even funny.” “You’re mine now,” he mimicked my voice. “Hard luck.”

“Hey, Joe, do you think I’m dramatic?” “Only when you’re awake.” Her glare made a reappearance. “Now I want two apologies.”

“I’m not your boyfriend, Molloy.” “Oh yeah, I forgot,” she shot back with a grin. “You’re my bitch.”

Yeah, it might be okay for her, I thought bitterly, but I was the one with everything on the line here. My ability to provide for my family. My ability to procreate with a functional pair of balls. Yeah, I had a feeling both were at stake today. This was all new territory to me. One minute I was twelve years old and locking eyes on her at the school gates, and the next I was seventeen, standing in her house, about to tell her father that she was mine. Christ.

“Tony.” Forcing myself to remain calm, I offered him a small nod. “All good. Thanks for, ah, for having me over.” “It was Aoife’s idea.” Reaching into a drawer, he retrieved the sharpest looking carving knife I’d ever had the misfortune of laying eyes on. “She said the two of you had something to discuss with us.” That’s how he’ll do it, I thought as I made my peace with God. That’s what he’ll use when he cuts my balls off. “Dad,” Molloy growled in a warning tone. “You promised.” Tony held his hands up. “Have I said a harsh word to the lad?” “You didn’t have to,” she snapped back. “The fact that you’re glaring at him while wielding a carving knife says it all for you.” Christ.

If I die today, it’s on your conscience, I mentally told her as I stepped outside and closed the back door behind me.

“Before you say a word, just know that I didn’t set out to disrespect you in any way, shape, or form.” He sighed heavily. “Joey.” “I know that you’ve been good to me,” I hurried to add. “And this probably feels like the ultimate betrayal, considering you warned me not to go there with her, but I care about your daughter, Tony.” He shook his head. “Joey—” “I do, Tony,” I urged. “I really fucking care about her, okay? This isn’t a fleeting notion, either. We didn’t get together on a whim. I put a hell of a lot of thought into this,” I added, blowing out a breath. “She’s my friend, Tony. My best friend—has been for a long time now. I’m not going to lie to you and say that I didn’t see it coming, but I can truthfully say that I did everything I could to stop it from happening—” “Joey!” Tony barked, and I quickly clamped my mouth shut. “I only have two questions for you.” Oh Jesus. “And take your time answering them,” he added. “Because I only want the truth, lad.” I nodded. “Okay.” “First.” He eyed me carefully and asked, “Do you love my daughter?” Heart thumping violently in my chest, I felt myself nod. “Entirely.” And then I heard myself say, “For about five years now.” Well, shit… “Second,” he said slowly. “Do you see a future with her?” “No,” I replied, hating my admission but needing to give him the truth, because if anyone deserved my honesty it was this man. “I don’t see a future for us, but that’s not because I don’t want one with her. It’s because I don’t see a future...

My parents were far from perfect, but as I sat at the dinner table and watched them embrace Joey, I was glad they were mine.

“Don’t worry, Aoife, love,” Mam offered then. “Dad didn’t have to pay Joey too much to go out with you.” More eruptions of laughter unfolded. “Ah, don’t you take any notice of them, pet,” Dad crooned through fits of laughter. “It only cost me a fiver.” “I hate you all,” I announced dramatically, and then waved a finger in Joey’s amused face. “Especially you, turncoat.”

“What the fuck happened, Tadhg?” “Dad hit Shannon,” Tadhg bit out. “So I hit Dad.” He spat out another glob of bloodied snot. “Dad hits harder.”

Joey: I don’t love you. x Molloy: I don’t love you back. <3

Especially his mother. She was the worst one of all. Sometimes, I wanted to stand in front of him and scream back off to his family. He has a life of his own to lead!

Still, that didn’t stop me from wanting to snatch him away and keep him safe, from wanting to give him a safe place to fall, to stay, to rest and recover.

His parents made me feel homicidal. His siblings made me feel helpless. His friends at school made me feel uncomfortable. And his friends from the terrace made me feel entirely unwelcome.

“Keep on pinching my ass, Molloy, and I’ll have to retaliate,” he said in a husky tone, lips brushing against my ear as he spoke. “I have behavioral problems, in case ya haven’t heard.” “You know, I think I’ve heard that a time or ten.” “According to my file, I can’t control myself when confronted with a physical altercation.” “Is that so?” “Yeah, that’s so.” Pulling me flush against his chest, I felt his hand slide up my bare thigh, not stopping until his fingers trailed over the hem of my knickers. “Oh my god, you did not just do that!” Shannon wailed, covering her eyes with her hand. “Ah, fuck,” Joey declared with a dramatic sigh as he pulled the elastic of my knickers and let it snap back into place. “Period knickers.” I threw my head back and laughed at his forlorn expression. “How would you know anything about my period knickers?” “Oh my god, you did not just… You know what…? Never mind. I’ll see you guys later,” Shannon groaned as she clenched the straps of her schoolbag and hurried away. “Come on, Molloy,” he said with a lopsided grin. “You’ve worn granny knickers for a grand total of five days a month every month since we’ve been special friends.” His voice was low and ridiculously sexy as his eyes burned with heat. “I know this because those are the only five days each month that you won’t let me put my—” “Okay, la-la-la, I get it. You’ve got my menstrual cycle down to a tee.” I laughed, clamping a hand over his mouth. “But I think that you’ve just scarred your s...

And then I heard:“Cunt.” Shannon’s breath hitched, and she shifted closer to me. “Yeah, you heard me, cunt!” I hated that word. There were few words in the English language that I chose to avoid, but that particular one was not included in my vocabulary. Swinging around, I locked eyes on none other than Ciara Maloney and Hannah Daly. Two vicious little bitches from the year below me who needed to be taken down a peg or ten. “Now.” Taking a firm stance in front of my boyfriend’s sister, I planted my hands on my hips and arched a brow. “Which one of you thick fuckers has a death wish?” “We weren’t talking to you,” Ciara replied, trying to act tough, but withering now that she was faced with someone older, taller, and stronger. “We meant her.” “Her?” I looked around me. “Who’s her?” “Me,” Shannon whispered, trembling behind me. “It’s me.” “If by her you’re referring to my fella’s sister, then I’ll give you a five-second head start to get the fuck out of her face before I cut your ponytail off and strangle you with it.” “Stay out of this, Aoife,” Hannah tried to interject, glancing around nervously. “This isn’t your fight.” “If you fight her, you fight me,” I warned, as unaffected by their bullshit as I was unwilling to back down. “So, are we fighting, or are you bitches keeping your hair for another day? I’m down either way.” They both looked at each other and then at Shannon before shaking their heads and stalking off in the direction of the main building. When they were out...

I couldn’t fucking do this anymore. I couldn’t. I tried. I did. I tried so hard to be good, but it never seemed to matter because nothing was going to change for me. I was never getting away from that house, not while the kids were still there, which meant that in order to survive another day in hell, I found myself breaking promises and slipping back into old habits.

“No. No goddamn way. I don’t do needles,” I snapped, running a hand through my hair. “I’m not a fucking junkie.” “You don’t have to,” he was quick to explain. “You’re watching too much television. That’s brown sugar. What I’m offering you is pure. The good stuff. You can smoke it or snort it. Whatever you like, lad. It’ll make everything else feel like Smarties, kid. Take my word for it.” “I can’t,” I choked out, staring down at the temptation in my hands. “It’s too fucking risky.” “Not when it’s used safely,” he encouraged. “Come on, kid. Do you think I’d fuck you over like that? We’re from the same terrace. I’ve known you since you were in nappies.”

Disgusted with myself for my weakness, I pressed the makeshift straw to my nose and inhaled deeply.

“Don’t hate me, Molloy,” Joey mumbled, falling into the passenger seat the moment I let him go to open the car door. “You’re all I have to wake up for in the morning.”

“We could get out of here,” she sobbed against my neck. “You and me. We could just load up the car and leave this shithole town behind us. I would go with you, Joe. I would. I love you.” She continued to sob, peppering kisses down my neck. “I love you. I love you. I love you so fucking much, it makes me want to die.” I believed her, and that scared me worse than the prospect of staying. Because I knew that she was willing to do anything to help me, and in the end it wouldn’t be enough, because I was too fucking gone in the mind. She was too good for me, too fucking good for the world. I knew deep down inside that I needed to let her go in order to give her some chance of a future. But I just couldn’t. “I can’t leave them, Molloy,” I whispered, tightening my arms around her when her body was racked with sobs. I’m not my brother. “I have to stay.”

No matter what, I would be right beside him, ready to pull him back to safety. Even if it meant that I lost myself in the process.

I watched from a distance until I saw Eoin Caddigan wrap a strand of Molloy’s long blond hair around his finger as he danced up behind her. “And that’s me off, Tony,” I announced, tossing back the last of my drink. “It’s time to put the fear of God into someone else.” “Ah, first love.” Laughing, he waved me off. “Keep the head, young fella.”

“I absolutely don’t love you, Joey Lynch,” she breathed, fist knotting in my shirt as she tugged my face down to hers. “And I always won’t.”

Excited, I snatched up the box and flipped the lid open. Resting against the velvet padding interior was a tiny silver locket with the date 30.08.99 on the front. “That date…” I blew out a shaky breath. “It’s—” “The first day of first year,” he explained quietly. “The first time I laid eyes on you, and the first time I understood what it meant to have my heart beating for someone outside of my family.” My heart squeezed so tight in my chest it was hard to breathe. “Joe.” “When I say I don’t love you,” he continued, nuzzling his face in my neck, “it’s the furthest thing from the truth.” Love. He was talking about loving me.

“I just don’t know how to not do it.” “Not do what, Joe?” “Reject human affection.” My heart. My poor, poor heart. It’s because of your shitty parents. Because they treat you like a dog instead of a son.

“For fuck’s sake!” He blew out a harsh breath. “Why is this such a big deal for you?” I didn’t flinch or shy away when I said, “Because I want to look that bastard in the eyes and show him that you have someone ready and willing to go to war both with you and for you.” “Jesus.” Running a hand through his hair, he muttered, “Now you’re definitely not going inside that house.”

“You’re so strange.” He threw his head back and laughed. “I love it.” “You mean you love me,” I teased, grinning up at him. “Yeah, Molloy.” His eyes burned with sincerity when he said, “That’s exactly what I mean.” Finally!

“What’s it like?” “What’s what like, Shan?” “Being in love.” She sighed, resting her chin on her small hand, thoroughly invested in the conversation now. “What does it feel like?” I cocked a brow. “Of all the things we could talk about, you want to talk about feelings?” “Please,” she begged. “Just humor me.” “Alright.” Shifting around awkwardly, I took a sip from my Coke while I thought about it for a moment. “It’s painful.” Her eyes widened to saucers. “Painful?” “Yeah.” I nodded. “But it’s the kind of pain that’s worth feeling, you know?” She blew out a breath. “Really?” “It’s like you know you’re about to get your ass handed to you by exposing yourself to this person, and you know that you’re fucking around on the edge of something that could potentially break and ruin you, but it’s just so damn thrilling, so consumingly addicting that you’re willing to take the risk and do just about anything to be with that person.” “Wow,” she mused in a dreamy tone. “That’s so great, Joe.” “It’s actually pretty terrible,” I offered dryly. “You should avoid it like the plague.” Shannon laughed and then asked, “So is Aoife the reason…” Clearing her throat, she said in a much quieter tone, “You decided to, ah, well, you know…” She cupped her hands around her mouth before whispering, “Not hang out with Shane Holland and those guys?” She’s certainly the reason I’ve become so good at hiding it. “Yeah, Shan,” I said, feeling like a piece of shit. “She is.”

I was so afraid of him ending up dead in a ditch somewhere that I found myself, disgustingly, turning a blind eye when he came back from lunch with a faraway look in his bloodshot eyes.

“I guess we’re both too stubborn for running, huh, Molloy?” “Or too in love.” “Yeah,” he agreed, tone gruff, as he pressed a kiss to the back of my hand. “Or that.”

Without her, I had nothing. Without her, I was nothing.

“I’ve stopped trying, Molloy. I can’t try anymore. Why aren’t you kicking me out?” “Because you might not love yourself, but I do. I love you enough for the both of us,” she whispered, fisting my cock in her hand. “And if keeping you here with me means that you’re off the streets and safe, then that’s what I’m going to do.”

My own mother didn’t give a fuck about me. Hell, I didn’t give a fuck about me. But I cared about those kids that spent most of their lives cowering in their beds. Yeah, I cared a lot for them. The strings that bonded us together, from my siblings’ hearts to mine, was so forceful that they kept me bound to this house. They kept me trapped.

“That’s what I want you to admit. I want the words, Joey. I want all of your words!” “Pain,” he roared into my face, eyes alight with temper as his shadow danced with his demons. “On the outside. On the inside. All around me. Pain so fucking strong I’m drowning in it!” He ran his bloodstained hands through his hair, tingeing his blond hair a faint crimson color. “That’s what I feel. That’s all I feel. All the fucking time!” My heart spliced open. “Joe.” “Do you want to hear about how often I pissed the bed out of fright until he literally beat the piss, blood, and snot out of me?” he roared, tears flowing down his cheeks now, too. “Because that happened, Molloy. I was weak. I cried. I begged. I hid. I ran. And then when all of that failed, I fought back. I stood the fuck up and fought back. It didn’t work in the beginning. He still smacked the shit out of me, but at least I felt like I was doing something!” Chest heaving, he ran his hands through his hair. “And now I feel nothing. I feel nothing, and I’m fine with that!” “And you are entitled to feel that way!” I screamed back at him. “Your father has put you through hell. None of what happens in that house is on you. Not one bit of it. You’ve grown up in a war zone. You’ve done a phenomenal job—” “Stop!” He held a hand up in warning. “My true colors are ugly, Molloy. Stop looking for the good in me, because it’s not there to find. I promise. Because I know that I love you, but in all honesty, if I could forget you, I woul...

There was a stained mattress on the floor. Alongside the mattress was a metal spoon with some dark, syrupy-looking stains, a lighter, and a tiny plastic bag with some brownish powder inside. Sprawled on top of the filthy mattress was my boyfriend, with his eyes rolling back in his head and a needle dangling from the crook of his arm. My heart, the same heart I didn’t think could be broken any more than it already had, cracked into a bazillion more pieces. “Joe.” My hand sprang up to cover my mouth as I battled with the image my mind was assuring me wasn’t a nightmare but reality. “Joey!” Nothing. “We were supposed to be spending the day together,” I cried, stumbling toward him. The smell of his sorrow was all around me, and I honestly felt like I was going to die of a broken heart as I felt myself hemorrhage from the inside.

“I’m…sorry, Molloy. So fucking…sorry…” “I know you are,” I sniffled, cranking the engine. “I know, Joe.” “I…love…” I felt my body tense when he clumsily reached across the car and tried to pat my thigh. “You…Molloy.…” “Tell me when you’re sober,” I replied, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “It won’t count tonight.” “Why won’t it count, Molloy?” “Because you won’t remember it,” I whispered sadly.

“You’re not good for me,” she whispered brokenly, clinging to the hand I had wrapped around her. “I get that now.” Her fingers dug into my forearm. “But it doesn’t stop my heart from loving you, or my head from wanting you.” I could feel her pain. It was hemorrhaging out of her chest and pouring straight into mine. She was the only person I’d ever loved that hadn’t been produced from between my mother’s legs. That was a horrible fucking image, but I meant it. I cared very little about anything or anyone besides the children who shared my bloodline, because those poor defenseless bastards shared my misfortune. But I cared about the girl in my arms. I cared an awful lot about this girl. “You might be the addict in this relationship, but you’re also the habit that I need to kick,” she choked out, chest heaving as she turned in my arms to face me. “Because I feel like I’m dying when I’m with you, and I feel like I’m dead when I’m not.” Her tears were on my shoulder. I could feel them. It shook me to my fucking core. I wanted to make it up to her, show her the better side of me, but I was just so fucking tired. I was bone weary, on the inside and out. Her eyes were red and swollen. There was no morality in this. No one needed to love me if it meant that it hurt them this deeply. “Aoife.” What was left of my heart cracked clean open in my chest. “It kills me that I’ve done this to you.” “And I can’t walk away, because I know that there’s still a little bit of you left in there,”...

I wanted to rescue him, to shield him from the horrors he had been born into. I wanted to be his armor when he couldn’t fight back. I wanted to wade into battle for him, protect his beautiful soul. But I’d been so determined to save him that I hadn’t noticed I’d lost myself in the process.

Our love was toxic.