Saving 6 (Boys of Tommen, #3)

by Chloe Walsh

The moment our eyes collided, I felt a pang of heat shoot straight to my chest. Holy fuck.

“She’s cute, but don’t throw your hat in the ring just yet. I promise there will be fifty more girls in your year that look just as lovely.” Doubtful.

“I don’t want fifty more girls,” I replied, twisting back to find her still watching me. “I just want that girl.”

“You saw me back there,” she stated evenly, green eyes snaring me. “I did.” “You kept walking.” I nodded like a fool. “I did.” “Don’t do that again.” Fuck me. “I won’t.”

She looked me over once more before nodding in approval. “You’re beautiful.” Well, shit. “Likewise.”

“Does it matter?” I countered, needing to regain some ground I had lost to this powerhouse of a girl. “We both know that you’ll be calling me ‘baby’ by the end of the day.” She licked her lips to bury her smile. “Is that so?” I stepped closer. “You tell me, blondie.” Now she did smile, and it was a glorious sight. “Okay, that was seriously smooth.” I smirked. “Thanks.” “I’m Aoife.” She laughed, holding her hand out to me. “Joey,” I replied, accepting her small hand in mine. “Joey.” She tilted her head to one side and studied me without a hint of shyness. “Your name suits you.” “I could say the same thing about you,” I replied. “Your name means radiance and beauty, right?” She grinned. “You know your Irish.” Yeah, I knew my Irish, but not that well.

She was in my class. Maybe my luck was changing. “So you’re as mediocre a student as I am.” She smiled. “My brother got assigned to First Year 1. That’s the class for the brainiacs.” “You’re a twin?” She nodded. “For my sins.” “So we’re the third smartest class?” “Or the third thickest.” She laughed. “Whichever way your glass is filled.”

“Yep. Eight years with the nuns. Can’t you see my halo shining?” “Oh yeah, it’s blinding.” “According to Sister Alphonsus, I should be continuing my education in an all-girls environment,” she mused with a devilish smile. “Apparently, I have a wild streak in me, with a penchant for the male form that no amount of prayer can eliminate.” She rolled her eyes. “All because I said I thought the guy playing Jesus in a movie they showed us was gorgeous.” I arched a brow. “Gorgeous?” “What? He was.” “Well, it sounds to me like you need to spend less time on your knees praying and more time—” “Don’t say it,” she warned, reaching up to cover my mouth with her hand. “With the male form.” I chuckled, peeling her fingers off my lips with my hand. “So, should I spend more time with the male form in general?” she said, and somehow our fingers were entwined now. “Or with you? Because it’s safe to say that I’m impressed with the male form standing in front of me.” “Is that your way of telling me that you don’t have a boyfriend?” “No, it’s my way of telling you that I will have a boyfriend once you ask me.” “Jesus.” My heart rate sped up. “You’re not backwards about anything, are you?” She winked and slid her schoolbag off her shoulder. “Where’s the fun in that?” Thrown off-kilter by this girl, I took the bag she held out for me and slung it over my free shoulder. “There,” she said with an approving nod, admiring her bright-pink bag on my shoulder. “That should do it.” “Should do what?” “Wa...

Swallowing the blood that was trickling down the back of my throat, I twisted my head to the side, and considered my options. Fight. Die. Run. Die. Tell. Die. Hide. Die. Die. After spending a selfish amount of time contemplating taking a knife to my wrists, I clenched my eyes shut and locked every muscle in my body tight until my entire frame shook from the tension. Don’t do it, lad. It’s not your turn yet. Don’t give him the satisfaction of checking out. Think of the others. Desperate to distract myself from the temptation, I held my breath and concentrated on why I couldn’t leave this house. On why I had to stay. Shannon. Tadhg. Ollie… Slowly, as my mind resigned itself to the fact that there was no way I could leave three innocent children with the monsters that created us, I felt my muscles unlock, causing me to sink deeper into depression. Trapping me… Resentment bubbled to life inside of me, with my mind homing in on one face. On one name. Fuck Darren for leaving me alone in this. Mam was crying in her room, with her clothes strewn everywhere and her dignity smeared all over him, and I couldn’t do shit for her. And just like last time, I couldn’t save her. And just like all the times before that, I couldn’t stop him.

I was twelve years old and a frontline soldier in the war that raged within my family home. The enemy I found myself up against was bigger and stronger, and my ally had abandoned me when I needed him most.

I would rather die first—and that wasn’t me being dramatic. I meant it. For years after that, I didn’t sleep at night. I didn’t dare. The noises—the fucking sounds from her—were burned into my memory, repeating over and over on a loop of mental destruction. And even when it was quiet, I was on edge. The silence unsettled me almost as much as her screams. Because her screams meant she was still breathing. Her silence could have meant that she was dead.

I could take the pressure. I could take the blows. I could handle his whiskey tantrums. I could take it all if it meant that they didn’t have to. Like a revered blood oath, I mentally reaffirmed the vow I had made to myself the night after Darren walked out, and that was to protect my brothers and sister with everything I had in me. I would never allow them to be beaten like I had been, or abused like our mother, or defiled like our brother. With whatever I had inside of me, I would protect and defend them from harm. They would never have to sit behind a barricaded bedroom door with a hurley in hand. I would be here to do it for them. I knew what it felt like to have my protector abandon me, and I would never allow that to happen to them. Yeah, fuck Darren for leaving our brothers and sister to fend for themselves against a monster. Fuck him for making me our father’s number one punching bag. You’ve always been that, lad…

It was because of thoughts like these, and fucked-up nights like the current one, that when Shane Holland, a lad a few years above me at BCS, offered me my first hit from a joint in fifth class, I took it. When he promised that it would relax my racing mind and help me sleep, I sucked that shit so deep into my lungs that I almost choked myself in the process. And do you know what happened? It worked. I went home that night and slept like a baby, blissfully unaware of anything outside my locked bedroom door. After my first night of unbroken sleep in years, I was instantly converted and decided that weed was for me. After a smoke, I could relax better than I’d ever been able to. I could close my eyes at night and not hear her in my head. I had peace.

So I jumped at the chance to escape for the night. To just make it all stop… All hell had broken loose the following morning when I was rumbled for my midnight venture, but I had zero regrets. I couldn’t remember getting home. I had been too strung out on a fucked-up concoction of weed, Devil’s Bit, and tablets to notice. Or care.

Hearing Paul Rice tell half of the lads in our P.E. class about how Tony’s daughter was so tight he could barely get a finger inside her had caused me to flip the fuck out on him in the changing rooms. I did it for Tony because he wasn’t there to do it himself. At least, that’s what I continued to tell myself.

“You know what? I think you do care,” she called after me. “In fact, I think you do like me. You like me and that’s why you act how you do. That’s why you riled my father up about Paul tonight. I’m right, aren’t I? You like me.” Of course I fucking liked her. She was the first thing my eyes had landed on when I walked through the entrance of Ballylaggin Community School last September, and the only face I consistently sought out since.

“You’re delusional, Molloy.” “And you’re in denial, Lynch.” Planting her hands on her hips, she gave me a look of pure frustration. “I waited for you, you know.” I arched a brow. “You waited for me.” “Uh-huh.” She nodded and blew a strand of hair out of her face. “I waited for months for you to get your shit together and ask me out.” She looked me right in the eye when she said, “Paul wasn’t my first choice, you know.” “Meaning?” “Oh, I’m sorry,” she drawled sarcastically. “I wasn’t aware that you needed me to write it down for you, asshole.” Well, shit. The truth was if Tony wasn’t her father, and I didn’t have so much riding on my job, then she wouldn’t have had to wait for shit. She sure as hell wouldn’t be fucking around with that pretentious prick Paul Rice, that was for sure.

Is that what you were going to say? I remind you of him?” Please say no. Please say no. Please say no. “Yes,” she confirmed with a pained expression on her face. “You remind me of your father.” Shuddering, she clenched her eyes shut as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I know it’s not your fault. I know, okay, but you just remind me so much of him. More and more each day.” “In what way?” I demanded, chest heaving. “In looks? Because if it’s in looks, then that’s not my fault. I can’t help who I look like, but I am nothing like that man in any other way.”

And with those words, my mother cut me deeper and more viciously than my father ever had. Ever could.

“Nice housecoat, Grandma.” “Nice face, Rocky,”

“But that still doesn’t make us friends.” “I get it,” I replied, breath hitching in my throat as I continued to poke the bear. “It’s too hard for you to be friends with someone when you want them as badly as you want me.” “Is that so?” Smirking, he took another step closer and I found myself backing up with every step he took until my back hit against my garden wall. Resting a hand on the wall next to me, he leaned in close. “You think I like you, Molloy?” “I know you do,” I breathed, heart galloping recklessly in my chest. Reaching down with his free hand, he tucked a tendril of hair behind my ear and whispered, “You think I want you?” The air left my lungs in an audible whoosh. I was staring into the face of danger. This boy possessed all of the terrible traits that mothers warned their daughters about. Every bad, wrong, and dirty teenage-boy characteristic wrapped up in a perfect, fucked-up package. Physically, he trumped me in every way. Taller. Stronger. Darker. Meaner… Still, I wanted him to come closer.

“Yes, fine! Whatever. Christ,” I grumbled, rolling my eyes. “You’re my favorite friend, with my favorite legs.” “Well now, see, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” She laughed, reaching up to pat my cheek. “And just so you know, Joe…” She leaned in close and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “You’re my favorite friend, with my favorite everything.” Well, shit.

“He’s not worth it, Joe.” No, but she is.

There wasn’t much I could do for her besides get myself suspended defending her honor, which I had no doubt would happen. One of these days, my sister was going to have to fight back.

A smoke to sleep, a line to function, and whatever else I could get my hands on to escape. That had been my mantra for a long time now. I knew I was too young to be walking this particular line, but in all honesty, I didn’t have any other options available to me. In my head it was die or get high. And I had too many people depending on me not to die. Fuck.

“Don’t do me any favors,” I sneered, hating her for defending me. She didn’t fucking love me. She thought I was the same as him. “I don’t need you to do shit for me.”

Babies weren’t supposed to be made in order to plaster over cracks in marriages, but that’s what this one would be. That’s what each one of us was, temporary plasters to cover the cracks in our parents’ dysfunctional relationship. Numb, I stared at my mother’s face as a new level of devastation washed over me. “You planned this?” Mam opened her mouth to reply, but he got there first. “We both did,” Dad snapped.

That meant he or she would only be three when I turned eighteen. I would be leaving a toddler behind when I got the fuck out of that house. Jesus.

“I’m not afraid of loving a boy,” I told her honestly. “I’m afraid of losing myself in one.”

“Make sure you do.” She laughed. “Because I’ve put an awful lot of effort into saving you, six.”

“What are you doing?” “What are you doing?” “You’re flirting with me.” “You’re flirting with me.” “So?” I scoffed. “I always flirt with you.” He grinned. “Well, maybe I’ve decided to change tactics.” “By flirting?” “Well.” He shrugged. “Being an asshole doesn’t seem to be working in my favor, does it?” “But you’re so good at being an asshole.” “Come closer and I’ll show you how good I can be in other ways.” “Okay, now you’re freaking me out,” I choked, springing away from him. “Stop this right now and give me back my asshole.” Laughing, Joey wheeled himself back under the car. “You lost that round, Molloy.” “I didn’t lose,” I huffed. “You changed the rules.” “Yeah, yeah,” he called out from under the car. “Go and buy your shoes, princess.”

“Jesus,” I whispered when he slumped down beside me. “You look like shit.” “Thanks,” he grumbled, setting his elbows on our desk and dropping his head in his hands. “You look like dinner.” I flamed with heat at the compliment. “Thanks.” “No problem.”

“Nice aim, Joey.” Danielle laughed, holding onto his shoulders for balance as he crouched in front of her and cleaned her fucking leg. “Nice legs.” Oh no he did not! He did. He fucking did! I wanted to scream. The jealousy that rose up inside of me was so intense that I could physically feel my body temperature rising.

“What’s with the mood, Molloy?” “I’m not in a mood.” “Says the girl with a face like thunder.” He nudged my shoulder with his. “You were all shits and giggles a minute ago.” “I am not in a mood.” “Fine.” Holding his hands up, he shook his head and moved to the sink. “Suit yourself.” “I will.” “You do that.” “That’s what I’m going to do.” “Good.” “Asshole.” “Crank.” “Prick.” “Witch.” “Shut up,” I spat out, furious. “I mean it. Don’t say another word to me.”

“By implying that I have wide hips to go with my even wider ass?” Yeah, and you look so fucking sexy for it.

“How are you feeling?” “Like I want us to get naked and fuck.” Jesus. “Well, that’s not happening,” I whispered, feeling my entire body tremble. “So stop thinking about it.” “I know it’s not.” Looser with his actions now that his mind was hazed, he pulled me closer to him, fingers kneading the fleshy part of my hips as he slowly rocked his hips against me. “But we will.” My breath hitched in my throat. He nuzzled my breasts with his nose. “Not today.” I released another shaky breath. “But we will.” Oh Jesus.

“You okay, Joe?” my sister asked, reaching up to touch my shoulder. “You look sad.” “It’s okay.” I forced a smile. “Everything is going to be okay.” “Yeah?” I nodded. “Yeah, Shan.” Because I won’t ever leave you.

“My Joseph. My brave, brave boy. Terrible burdens. A cursed cross to carry. But always rising from the ashes. Always getting back up. Always the…protector.” “Yeah.” Panicked, I looked around the empty room, feeling at a loss. “Granda, I’m just going to go and get the nurse for you, okay?” “Don’t give in to them,” he rasped, holding onto my hand with strength I was surprised he was capable of. “Promise me that you’ll…never…give in to them.” “Give in to who, Granda?” Gasping and wheezing for air, he looked me right in the eyes, green eyes on green and whispered, “The demons your father put in your head.”

I watched as he parented his four younger siblings with a proficiency that a grown man would struggle to master. It was so impressive, so heartbreaking, and so incredibly hot all in one breath.

I wasn’t convinced about happy endings, but when Molloy locked her eyes on me and smiled, I could believe in the possibility of a happy day.

Fuck, she was something else to look at.

“Bullshit. Comfortable isn’t as good as it gets,” Joey challenged, narrowing his eyes. “You shouldn’t settle for comfortable, Molloy. You shouldn’t settle for anything less than being in love to the point of madness. The only person that you should be settling for is the person who unsettles you the most. The person who drives you to the brink of suicide because he or she makes you feel so fucking much that you can’t catch your breath or remotely function without them. “And what’s more is you won’t want to. You won’t want to breathe, or feel, or fucking function without them. That’s how you’ll know that it’s a real relationship, Molloy. Only when you’re feeling the most discomfort you’ve ever felt in your entire life should you even consider settling. Because that’s when you’ll know you’re in love, which sounds to me like a hell of a lot nicer way to live than settling for someone you have nothing in common with because it’s comfortable.”

“Steal any more cars lately?” Molloy’s familiar voice infiltrated my thoughts, dragging me back to the present, and fuck if my heart didn’t take a U-turn in my chest when she sidled up beside me and nudged my arm with her shoulder. “Nice hoodie.” “Nah, just the one,” I shot back, returning her nudge. “And nice legs.” “I’m wearing jeans tonight.” “Not in my head.” “Funny.” She grinned up at me and I couldn’t stop myself from mirroring her actions.

She chose to be with him. Repeatedly. He was her boyfriend. I was her…nothing. I was her nothing. Fuck my life.

My heart cracked clean open in my chest at the sight of her. It didn’t matter to me that she was fourteen now. In my eyes, she was still the tiny girl in pigtails who had followed me around for most of our childhood.

“I w-want to d-die,” she continued to cry, choking hard on her tears. “I w-want to n-not be h-here anymore.” “You can’t go dying on me,” I tried to coax, as terror filled my veins. “What would I do without you, huh?” “But I m-make everything w-worse f-for you,” she continued to cry. “You k-keep getting in f-fights trying to pr-protect and s-stick up f-for me. It’s n-not fair on y-you… always h-having to s-save me.” “That’s my job, Shan,” I said as I pried her ponytail from her small fist. “I’m your big brother. I will always stick up for you.” “I l-love you, J-Joe.”

“Let that be a warning to your sister,” I roared. “If she so much as looks at my sister again, I’ll kill you.” Chest heaving, I pointed straight at the lad bleeding all over the concrete, as Mr. Ryan and several of my teammates dragged me away. “Do ya hear me? I will kill you!”

This was our first kiss, and it wasn’t the comet-hitting-earth moment I had anticipated from years of binge-watching unhealthy teen sitcoms. It wasn’t anything like what happened in the movies. It was so much more. This kiss was real, and raw, and gritty, and so full of unspoken emotion that I felt my legs shake from the pressure.

“I always check the product before I make any purchases.” “And?” She blew out a shaky breath and nodded. “Oh, I’ve been sold on you for a long time now, Joey Lynch.”

Tread carefully, the beating muscle in my chest commanded, because if you let her in, if you let yourself fall for this girl, you’ll never recover. Forget that shit, she’s already in. Keep her.