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“I
am?” He nodded slowly. “Everywhere.”
“Safe, okay?” I strangled out. “When you’re around, I feel safe.”
Songs for Shannon.
Coldplay—“Yellow” Guns N’ Roses—“Sweet Child O’ Mine” Goo Goo Dolls—“Iris” The Fureys—“When You Were Sweet Sixteen” Howie Day—“Collide”
The Offspring—“Want You Bad” Busted—“Fall at Your Feet” Aerosmith—“Crazy” Counting Crows—“Colorblind” David Gray—“This Year’s Love” Bon Jovi—“In These Arms” Westlife—“World of Our Own” Eagle-Eye Cherry—“Save Tonight” Metallica—“Tuesday’s Gone” Snow Patrol—“Run” The Verve—“Lucky Man” HIM—“Wicked Game” The La’s—“There She Goes”
“We make a pretty good team, Shannon like the river.”
The sheer depth of my feelings for him was unhealthy. The adoration, the lust, the downright infatuation I had for him…it was insanity. I had never felt this much. I had never felt so consumed.
If Gibsie hadn’t come over, I would have kissed her. I knew I would have. I already knew what those lips felt like. I wanted so badly to taste them again. I would taste them again. I was starving for her and everything she was. Every part of her. Inside and out.
I just wanted her. For keeps.
But I already felt like I was drowning with her. That’s how consumed I was in this girl. That’s how much I loved her. Fuck.
Johnny wasn’t just pitching a tent in those jocks—he was pitching a marquee.
“Are you okay?” I breathed against his lips as I held onto his shoulders. “Just keep kissing me,” he strangled out. “I want you so much.” I shivered violently. “You do?” “So fucking much,”
think I’m in love with you. I think I’m falling.
Please don’t hurt me. Please don’t ever hurt me.
I love you. I am so in love with you. Please be okay.
“I’m so in love with him, Claire,” I confessed, and then I burst into tears. “I love him so much that the thought of him not being okay is killing me.”
“No, no, no, Da. I’m serious,” I slurred. “I think I love that girl.”
“She’s a river.” I sighed and closed my eyes. “I’m keeping her, Da.” “Okay, son,” he coaxed. “You keep the girl.” “She makes my heart go, like, whoa.” “Is that right?” he mused. “So bad, Da.” I sighed. “Boom, boom, fucking boom.” I shook my head. “All the time.”
“I’m gonna keep her, too. Make all my babies with her because my balls work—and
“And I’m gonna buy her a ring…and a dog…and sail a boat…and I’m gonna look at her tits because I can.”
“Hi, Johnny.” “Boom, boom, fucking boom, Da,” I groaned, slapping a hand against my chest. “I’m done for.”
“I thought I lost you…and my head? My head is hiiiigh as balls, baby.” He called you baby. He called you baby again. “I’m here now,” I whispered, unable to stop my smile at how adorable he was in this moment. “And you’re going to be okay.” “I love you, Shannon like the river,” he slurred.
“I fucking love you,” Johnny said again. Oh god. He did. He absolutely did. Twice.
“She’ll have my babies—”
“You’ll have my babies, won’t you?”
“I’m not scaring her. I love her.”
“Look at that face,” he whispered, staring up at me with a peculiar expression. “I’m gonna keep you.” “Okay.” Relenting to his madness, I coaxed him to lie back on his pillow. “You can keep me.”
“Johnny, I love you.”
“I love your tits,” he informed me then. “You haven’t seen them.” He nodded solemnly. “I have.”
“And your pussy.” He closed his eyes and groaned. “I saw that, too.”
“It’s mine.” “What’s yours?” I asked. “You.” He sighed and tightened his hold on me. “And your perfect little pussy.”
“I think I need you for keeps,” he slurred. “I think I need you for keeps, too,” I confessed.
“Who’s hurting you, baby?” he slurred sleepily. He yawned loudly and then sighed. “I’ll fix it.”
“My father.”
Johnny was asleep.
My father. My father.
Because her father took her phone.
My father. My father.
“Get off her!”
“No, Tadhg,” I strangled out. “Go back upstairs.” “Get the fuck out, boy,” Dad barked, releasing me. “If you know what’s good for ya.” “Leave my sister alone,” Tadhg growled, taking a step into the kitchen.
“You can’t do that to her,” he challenged, glaring at our father with his chin jutted out. “Joey says we don’t hit girls.”
“Please, Tadhg,” I begged him. “Just go.” Tadhg wouldn’t budge. “I’ll protect you,” he told me before turning to face our father. Oh god, no… “I’m not afraid of you!” he hissed, taking a protective stance in front of me. “You think you’re all tough, but you’re nothing but an alcoholic scumbag who goes around hitting girls!”
“Stop!” Tadhg was screaming, beating his fists against our father’s back. “You’re killing her.”
