Binding 13 (Boys of Tommen, #1)

by Chloe Walsh

“Mam’s okay now. She’s back to work and everything.” Johnny’s brows shot up. “So soon?” You’re one to talk, Mr. Adductor… I shrugged. “That’s what she wanted.”

“Nice catch,” I finally breathed, looking up at his face with a mixture of shock and admiration as he held my entire body up with one hand. His lips twitched. “Thanks.” “Well, you’re definitely better at catching than throwing.” Smirking, Johnny dragged me to my feet before pulling the zipper of the jacket open and freeing my hands. “Better?” he asked, his hands settling on the slight curves of my waist.

“You think I’d let anyone hurt you?” Johnny finally asked, his eyes dark and intense and focused solely on my face. “You think I’d let anything bad happen to you, Shannon like the river?” I stared up at him, unsure of what to say and uncertain of my feelings. When I didn’t respond, Johnny released a low growl and shook his head, causing droplets of rain to spray my face. “Because I won’t,” he answered his own question by saying. “Nothing bad is going to happen to you,” he added, blue eyes dark and locked on mine. “Because I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, okay?” I nodded uncertainly. “Okay?” He watched me carefully, eyes heated and locked on mine. “Do you believe me?” “I want to,” I breathed as my fingers dug into the hard plains of his shoulders—my body’s helpless reaction to his words. God, I want to… “Good,” he replied gruffly, stepping closer, hands tightening on my waistline. “I want that, too.” A strange heaviness settled over us as the never-ending cycle of rain continued to pelt down. Like a pressured sensation. Like the air had grown thin around us. He was staring down at me, looking both annoyed and excited. It was a confusing look. I didn’t know what to make of it.

“I’m soaking wet,” I warned, feeling embarrassed at the thought of ruining the expensive upholstery of the car. “Seriously, Johnny,” I added with a shiver when he returned to the door with our bags. “I’m soaked right through my clothes.” His lips twitched for the briefest moment, and then he shook his head as if waving off an unwelcome thought that had come to him.

“Ma, this is my, ah… This is Shannon,” he acknowledged, looking clearly uncomfortable. He cast a nervous glance at me and then turned back to his mother, clearing his throat twice before adding, “She’s my, uh… She’s new.” He shoved me further into the back seat of his mother’s SUV and then tossed both bags in alongside me. “I told her we’d drop her home.” “Hello, Shannon,” his mother said, turning in her seat to flash me a megawatt smile. “Shannon, this is my ma,” he announced gruffly. “I’ll, ah, go and find your shoe.” He closed the car door then, locking me inside with his mother, and jogged away. Mortified, I slumped into the back seat of his mother’s Range Rover. Well, this wasn’t awkward. This wasn’t awkward at all. Trying not to hyperventilate with burning discomfort was surprisingly difficult considering I was sure full-blown hypothermia was setting in. “N-nice to m-meet you, Mrs. Kavanagh,” I chattered, knees bopping restlessly as I rubbed my hands up and down my arms. I was so unbelievably out of my comfort zone that I had no clue what to do. Knowing that I was dripping water all over this kind lady’s leather interior wasn’t helping matters, either. “Th-thank you f-for the s-spin.” “It’s Edel, love,” she replied, sounding distracted as she watched out the window. “What in the name of Jesus is that young fella of mine doing now?” Muttering several profanities to herself, Mrs. Kavanagh pressed a button on the door and her window rolled down. “Johnny!” she called out...

“Looks like you have a fan,” Mrs. Kavanagh added, pointing to where Johnny was jogging up and down the footpath, scouring the ground and dikes for my missing shoe. Crap, I hoped it hadn’t floated away in the drain water. Dad would hit the roof if I came home with another expense. “He’s done a terrible job of keeping you quiet.” Mrs. Kavanagh added with a smile. “I saw you in the papers with him the other week. Beautiful picture, love. You two look absolutely stunning together.” Did she think…? “What? Oh no… No!” I blushed an ugly shade of beet red. “It’s not like that.” “Oh no?” She smirked. “I thought maybe Johnny had gotten himself a little girlfriend while I was away.” “Um, no.” I squirmed in discomfort. “We’re just—” “Friends?” Mrs. Kavanagh quipped, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “So I’ve heard.” Were we friends? I wasn’t sure. Maybe he was still trying to make amends. I nodded and said, “Yeah, we’re just friends.” “Ah, that’s a shame,” she replied after a long pause. “For a moment there, I thought you had managed to do the impossible.” “The impossible?” “Distract him from rugby.” “Oh.” I clasped my hands together, unsure of how to respond to that. “Well, I haven’t,” was all I came up with, followed with, “We’re just friends.” When Mrs. Kavanagh spoke again, her brow was knit in concern. “I love my son with all my heart, but sometimes, I wish he would remember to be seventeen and let go a little. Have fun. Fall in love. Break the rules. Be a teenager...

“So, tell me how you and Johnny know each other,” she asked. “Are you in the same class? How did you make friends with each other?” “Uh, no, I’m in third year,” I replied, shifting in my seat. “Really?” Mrs. Kavanagh’s eyes widened. “I thought you were much older.” I beamed at the compliment—at least I was taking it as a compliment. It wasn’t often someone mistook me for being older than what I was. “I’m sixteen. I should be in fourth year,” I explained, delighted with myself for coming across as older. “But I was held back in primary school.” “So was Johnny,” Mrs. Kavanagh told me with warm smile. “In sixth class,” I replied with a small nod. “He wasn’t happy.” “No.” She laughed. “He certainly wasn’t.” Smiling, she added, “You must know each other well if he gave you the ‘my parents ruined my life when they moved me to the sticks’ story.” “Not that well,” I found myself explaining. “Honestly, Johnny offering to drop me home is probably just another one of his ways of trying to make up for knocking me up on the pitch.” “Excuse me?” Mrs. Kavanagh spluttered, eyes bulging. “It was an accident,” I quickly interjected. “He didn’t mean for it to happen. If anyone’s at fault, then I am. I shouldn’t have gone there. I distracted him. But he took good care of me afterward.” I blew out a breath before adding, “He was very kind.” “And when did this accident happen?” “Back in January,” I explained, my hand automatically moving to cup the back of my head. “The doctors at the hospital ...

“Fuck, it’s freezing out there!” Johnny announced as he jumped inside and shook himself down, causing water to spray everywhere. “I’d say it’s time to batten down the hatches and get the rubber dinghies out, girls. The weather’s gone to shite.” “Says the genius running around in a storm for the last half a bleeding hour,” his mother quipped. “We’re on the orange alert for flooding, you know. Fourth one in a month.” “You know I’m no quitter, Ma,” Johnny shot back, holding up my shoe in triumph. Twisting in his seat to face me, he arched a brow and said, “Tip for next time we do this?” His tone was serious but his eyes danced with mischief as water dripped from his rain-flattened hair onto his forehead. “Keep your shoes on your feet.” Winking, he tossed my shoe onto my lap before turning back around and reaching for his safety belt. “Sorry,” I mumbled, red-faced.

“Christ, that’s some amount of rain for March.” “Watch your language,” Mrs. Kavanagh scolded as she started the engine and pulled off. “And what’s this I hear about you knocking Shannon out?” Johnny swung around and stared at me, the expression on his face saying, Really? I sank back in my seat. “Well?” “For fuck’s sake, Ma!” “What have I told you about your language?” Mrs. Kavanagh snapped. “Cool your jets, Johnny.” “Christ.” Johnny sagged against the headrest and groaned. “I already got it in the neck from Twomey, Lane, Coach, and Shannon’s ma. Please not you as well.” “Well?” Mrs. Kavanagh asked, casting a quick glance at her son before refocusing on the road. “Did you not think I should have been told?” “I’m sorry,” I squeezed out, clasping my hands together anxiously. “Your mam thought I was your…that we were…that you got me…with your pregnant balls… Ugh—” Clearing my throat, I whispered, “I’m sorry.” Johnny turned back to face me and smirked. “My pregnant balls?” “No, my pregnant and your balls,” I spluttered and then cringed at my words. “Never mind.”

“Well, now you know,” he bit out. “It was an accident. I didn’t mean for it to happen, and I don’t go around clocking girls over the head for shits and giggles.” “Don’t get so defensive, Johnny,” she replied, tone softening. “No one’s accusing you of doing it on purpose, love.” “Yeah fucking right,” he muttered. “Just drop it, Ma.” He sounded agitated—no, it was more than that. He sounded like he was in pain. Which he more than likely was. My memories of our conversation in his car floated into my mind in glorious colored detail. It’s not healing fast enough. It’s a fucking mess. My leg’s not the problem. Just forget I told you any of that.

“Shannon?” Mrs. Kavanagh called back to me. “Do you mind, love?” Say no, Shannon. Tell her that you do mind. If he finds out, he’ll kill you. You know this is wrong. This boy is not safe for you… “I don’t mind,” I strangled out, torn by the fear inside of my heart and the burning curiosity in my body. “It’s okay by me.” “See now?” his mother quipped, patting Johnny’s cheek. “Shannon doesn’t mind, love.”

“Now,” Mrs. Kavanagh announced, parking outside their eight-foot-tall door. “Bring your friend inside, love, and get her something warm and dry to change into.” She cut the engine and unbuckled her seat belt. “I must make a quick call to work and then I’ll make you both something to eat.” “Ma—” Johnny began to say, but Mrs. Kavanagh climbed out of the car and hurried over to unlock the front door. Stunned, I could do nothing but watch as Mrs. Kavanagh disappeared into the house, leaving us alone in her Range Rover. “I am so fucking sorry about this,” Johnny announced, distracting me from my inner turmoil. He twisted around in his seat to face me. “I have no bleeding clue what she was thinking.” “It’s okay,” I replied, clasping my hands together tightly. “Your mam is really nice.”

“I want you to come in, Shannon.” “You do?” “I do.” Inhaling a deep, steadying breath, I climbed out of the car and stared up at his face, feeling very small and very lost. I needed him to take the lead here.

There was something very wrong with me. Running around for twenty minutes in the pouring rain for a shoe was a good indication that this girl was making me lose my mind. The minute I saw Shannon darting around the P.E. hall, a monstrous swell of protectiveness surged up inside of my body at the sight of her trying to protect herself from being trampled on, and I knew that my problem was bigger than I had realized. I’d had the craziest urge to stalk onto the court and tell her classmates to back the fuck off from her.

fucked with me. Thank Christ she came back to school today, because I had plans on driving over there this evening if she hadn’t. Every minute of every day since the day her brother took her away from me had been plagued with concern.

My reaction to her only intensified when I watched her walking away in the rain, all small and uncertain, and I jumped right in and bulldozed. She clearly didn’t want me to drop her home and I insisted anyway. I did more than insist; I physically put her into the back of my mother’s Range Rover, too aggravated and flustered by my feelings to take a step back and listen. Yeah, that was a stupid move. I shouldn’t have put my hands on her. Helpful or not, it wasn’t the right way to go with this girl. The worst part was knowing that if my mother hadn’t shown up when she had, there was a very big chance I would’ve kissed her. I wanted to. Badly. And that was beyond terrifying.

She was mine and I didn’t want to share. “Uh, okay?” she replied nervously, though it sounded more like a question. “If you want me to?” Jesus, she needed to stop asking me what I wanted her to do. If she kept it up, I might be stupid enough to tell her the truth. And then we were both screwed. Deciding it was safer to not answer that, I simply gestured to the staircase and began to walk, only making it to the third step when I realized she wasn’t following me. When I turned back, I found Shannon standing exactly where I left her, watching me with a nervous expression. She had her arms wrapped protectively around herself, with her long brown hair drenched from the rain and sticking in wet clumps to her face, and in my whole life, I’d never seen anything so beautiful. Jesus. How was I supposed to handle this? How was I supposed to handle her? “Johnny!” I heard Mam call from down the hall. “Did you get Shannon something to change into? The poor girl’s like a drowned rat from the rain.” “I’m okay, Johnny,” Shannon hurried to tell me. “Honestly, I am.” I eyed her with unease. She was shivering like crazy, and there was a small puddle forming around her from the water dripping from her clothes. Christ… “Come on, it’s okay,” I coaxed, retracing my steps. “I’ll look after you.” And then I took her hand in mine and led her up the staircase, knowing this was a terrible fucking idea, but resigned to doing it anyway. I was so completely fucked.

Johnny Kavanagh was holding my hand. He was holding my hand and taking me upstairs. Again. To his bedroom. Again. Where he slept. On his bed. Probably with very little clothes on. Oh god…

This entire house and the boy holding my hand reeked of money. Lots and lots of money. It was terrifying

Johnny pushed the door inward and walked us into his room, still holding my hand, still making my heart leap around violently. Depressingly, he released my hand a few moments later, and the lack of contact made me feel oddly bereft. “So, this is my room,” he said with a smirk, waving a hand around the still-messy room. “Again.” “And it’s still a nice room,” I offered with a shy smile. He grinned. “I’m not the best housekeeper.” I can tell.

conversation instead of just standing here like a dummy. My face burned with heat when I read the title on the DVD box on top of the pile—Pussy Pleasure XXX. “Fuck,” Johnny muttered when he noticed where I was looking. He hurried over and tossed the porno behind the TV. “That’s, ah…” Breaking off, he exhaled a heavy sigh and scrubbed his face with his hand. “Sorry about that. I don’t bring girls up here.” He frowned for a moment before adding, “Except you.” Squirming uncomfortably, I replied, “Don’t worry about it.” “So,” he mused. “So,” I whispered. “This is pretty fucking strange,” Johnny muttered. “Yep,” I agreed as a small smile crept across my face. Johnny noticed my smile and grinned back at me. “Bet you didn’t plan on spending your evening stuck here, huh?” “I really don’t mind,” I told him, and surprisingly, I meant it. Being here delayed going home to another night of drama. And being here with Johnny was a good kind of terrifying. I wanted to be here with him. I wanted him, period. “So,” Johnny said again, shifting restlessly as he smoothed a hand down his thigh. “What do you want to do?” “I don’t mind,” I replied. “I’ll do whatever you want to do.” “Fuck.” Johnny clenched his eyes shut and groaned. “Oh god, are you okay?” I hurried to ask, well aware he was in pain. “All good,” he assured me in a tight tone. “Are you sure?” I asked, uncertain again. His blue eyes were wild and full of uncertainty when he said, “I’m kind of out of my comfort zone here, Shannon.” ...

“Well, you were a gorgeous child.” “Was?” Johnny quipped. “As in, I’m not anymore?” “Uh, no… I mean yes, of course… I didn’t… Um, you have all your teeth now,” I spluttered, feeling flustered and foolish for voicing my thoughts aloud. Johnny chuckled at my response. “I’m only messing with you, Shannon.”

“W-what?” I croaked out. “I can’t shower in your house.” Again. Why were people always telling me to shower in this boy’s house? God! “Of course, you can,” she replied with the warmest smile I’d ever seen. “Ma, can you just go?” Johnny bit out. “Now? We were in the middle of something here.” She gave him a hard stare. “In the middle of what?” I waved the controller at her. “I beat him at PlayStation.” “No,” Johnny corrected. “She didn’t beat me at anything…” He paused to glare at me. “You haven’t won yet.” And then he turned back to his mother and added, “She just pushed the bar out.” “To space,” I mumbled under my breath. “I heard that,” he shot back, smirking. Mrs. Kavanagh looked between us and then beamed. “He’s a terrible loser, isn’t he?” “I am fucking not!” “I know.” I giggled. “His father’s the same,” Mrs. Kavanagh added. “You should see him if he loses in court. No speaking for hours.” “Ma,” Johnny snapped. “Can you just leave us be? Please?” “I will,” she replied. “Once that poor girl has a warm shower and some dry clothes on her.” “She doesn’t want a—” “Do you know what, Shannon, love?” she added, once again ignoring her son. “I might have something in my office to fit you.” She eyed me up and down and tapped her lip before saying, “You’re a UK size six?” Startled, I just stood there while Mrs. Kavanagh circled me, brows set in concentration. “Ma!” Johnny bit out. “Back off.” “No, no,” Mrs. Kavanagh mused, ignoring her son. Frowning, she stepped closer and pulle...

Johnny didn’t realize it, but in the space of an hour or two, his mother had taken more of an interest in me than my own mother had in months.

“You, uh, said you had a problem with it last time,” he mumbled with a shrug. “Did I?” “Uh, yeah,” he replied, shifting uncomfortably. “You were mumbling in your sleep about my shower scalding you.” I turned beet red. “Oh god, I’m sorry,” I choked out, feeling nervous again. “Stop,” he warned with a smile. “It was cute.” “Cute?” I squeezed out, practically hyperventilating. “Uh, yeah, I’ll put some clothes out for you again.” Johnny’s cheeks turned a flushed shade of pink as he stepped around me and hurried back into his room. “Same as last time.” “Where will I put my clothes?” “Just throw them out to me when you’re naked…ah, when you’re ready,” he muttered gruffly. “I’ll put them in the dryer,” he added before closing the door and leaving me alone in his bathroom. Trembling, I sank down on the closed toilet lid and exhaled a ragged breath. Oh god.

I was in so much fucking trouble. For once, my problems had nothing to do with my adductor and everything to do with the girl naked in my bathroom. “What the hell was that about?” I hissed when I found my mother in the kitchen. “Hello, love,” my mother replied, as she continued to chop carrots, clearly oblivious to my outrage. “Hello?” I balked. “That’s all you’ve got to say?” Setting her knife down on the chopping board, she turned to face me. “That girl is fragile, Johnny.” Mam nibbled on her lip, brows furrowed in concern. “There is something about her that makes me want to wrap my arms around her and cuddle the sadness out of her eyes.” Yeah, I knew the feeling. I knew that feeling very fucking well. “So, you force her to come over here?” I hissed. “Tell me how that was a good idea?” “Oh god,” Mam strangled. “I haven’t upset her, have I?” “No, she’s okay,” I bit out. “But I’m not.” I was so far from okay that the word was a blip on my radar. “What’s wrong, baby?” “What’s wrong?” I practically spat out. “Ma, you just snookered me! What were you thinking bringing her here?” “You were enjoying yourself up there,” Mam said with a smile. “She was beating you at PlayStation, huh?” Yeah, she was. Shannon was kicking my ass at GTA and ruining other parts of my anatomy. I had no clue how I ended up getting my ass handed to me by that pint-sized girl, but that’s what happened. Watching her completely dominate my PlayStation was so fucking hot. Seriously, her skills with a contro...

Shannon naked on my bed. With me naked on top of her. Preferably in her. If my fucked-up dick held out. Stop it, asshole. Stop those thoughts! “You knew I needed you to take me because I don’t have my bleeding car,” I hissed, frustrated. “And now? Now, I have a naked girl in my room, Ma. A naked fucking girl and I’m holding her bleeding clothes.” Stalking toward her, I dumped Shannon’s wet uniform on the counter and glared at her. “What kind of mother does that to their son?” “Well, you’re down here with me,” Mam replied calmly, patting my cheek. “So, I raised you well.” “Ma,” I growled. “I thought you could do with a rest,” she huffed. “You look so tired, sweetheart.” Give me strength… “And you were having so much fun,” she added with a rueful smile. “I haven’t seen you relax like that in years.” True. But not the point. “And my car?” I demanded. “What am I supposed to do without my car?”

Mam had gone way too far this time. She had meddled in something I didn’t want anyone meddling in. She meddled with Shannon

“Why did you do this?” I repeated. “Because I think you two are doing a line together on the sly,” Mam said with smirk. “You look so cute together.” “Doing a line?” I gaped at my mother. “What are you talking about? You know I don’t take drugs! I’m tested all the fucking time.” “No, love,” Mam chuckled. “Doing a line together as in secretly seeing each other.” Shrugging, she added, “I was trying to let you know that I was okay with you having a girlfriend, and I was trying to make Shannon feel welcome.” God. This woman. “Well, I can assure you that I am not doing lines of anything—cocaine or girls,” I snapped. “We are just friends.” “She’s a lovely girl, Johnny,” Mam offered. “Seems very fond of you.” She turned to look at me when she said, “You could do a lot worse than a nice girl like her.” “Yeah, well, I don’t see her like that.” Lie. Lie. Barefaced lie. “She’s just a friend.” More lies. “That’s it, Ma.” “Do you honestly think you can sell me that shite, Johnny Kavanagh?” Mam shot back, lips twitching. “I’m your mother. I brought you into this world, and I know every single time you tell me a lie.” “I am not lying,” I lied. “You’re lying to me right now.” “I am fucking not.” “It’s okay if you do, love,” Mam said in a reassuring tone. “We’re friends,” I bit out. “That’s it.” “But you like her?” Mam asked after a long pause of silence. I turned to look at her. “What?” “Shannon,” Mam filled in, tone gentle and coaxing. “You like her.” I shook my head and exhaled heavily, ...

“That’s worse again,” I barked, flustered. “There is a naked sixteen-year-old girl in your seventeen-year-old son’s bedroom right now—one you put there, I might add!” “Johnny, love, you need to relax—” “And how do you propose I do that?” I demanded. “When you put a naked teenage girl in my bedroom?” “Oh, love,” Mam muttered, worrying her lip. “I think it’s time we had a chat.” “A chat?” I gaped at her. “We are chatting. We are having a very important fucking chat, Ma. About the lack of boundaries in this family. About you needing to respect my boundaries!” “About you and Shannon.” “What about Shannon and me?” “About your feelings.” I gaped at her. “My feelings?” “And your intentions, love,” Mam replied. “My intentions?” The fuck? “I know it’s early stages and what I’m about to talk to you about is a long way off for you both, but it’s important that you know about it.” I eyed her warily. “About what?” “About sex, love.” My mouth fell open. “Why are you not hearing me? Why isn’t anyone hearing me anymore?”

“I know your father spoke to you a few years ago about the birds and the bees.” She placed a hand on my shoulder and steered me over to the island, obviously not fucking hearing again. “But considering this latest development, I think it might be a good idea for us to talk about it. Just so we’re all clear on how important it is to take things slowly.” “Latest development?” I sank onto a stool and gaped at her. “I’m not having any bleeding developments. We don’t need to talk about anything.” “Even still—” Shrugging, Mam sat down on the stool beside me and patted my thigh. “It would do no harm to refresh your memory.” “I sincerely fucking hope you’re joking, Ma,” I strangled out. “Maybe we should call Shannon down, so I can talk to you both about this—” “Don’t you bleeding dare,” I snapped. “You leave her alone.” You’ve traumatized her enough! “Okay then,” she replied. “I’ll talk to you about this.” “Please, don’t—” “Sex is a beautiful thing, love,” Mam said in that motherly tone that currently made me want to stab pencils in my ears. “When it’s between two people who love and are committed to each other.” I held up a hand. “We are just friends.” “Uh-huh,” Mam quipped with a disbelieving smile. “That’s what they all say.” “That’s the bleeding truth,” I snapped. “That’s all we are.” Jesus, even your mother can see through you… “It’s completely natural to want to experience pleasure with a partner,” Mam continued to say, ignoring my pleas. “When you’re both old enough to full...

“Call me when it’s time to pick up your demented dogs.” “About that,” Mam sniffled. “You lied, didn’t you?” I gave her an accusing glare. “You don’t have to pick Bonnie and Cupcake up at all tonight, do you?” Of course, she lied. One look at her sheepish expression and it was plain to see. “You meddler,” I accused. “You sexer,” Mam shot back in a tone as equally accusing. For fuck’s sake. I wasn’t going to win here. Holding my hands up in defeat, I hurried out of the kitchen before she drowned me in a fresh batch of tears.

Just like the last time I showered in Johnny’s glorious bathroom, I took a crazy amount of time. I couldn’t help myself. I blamed the jets. And his bodywash. And the smell of him. God, I was losing my mind.

Logic told me I was being silly, but the thought of Johnny seeing my underwear made me feel a little faint.

This time, when I stepped out of the bathroom, I was prepared for Sookie and found her snoozing on the bed. I was not, however, prepared for the sight of Johnny’s naked ass. He was standing in front of his chest of drawers with his back to me, a towel on the floor at his feet, and was in the process of pulling a pair of boxers up his thighs. God, he even had muscles on his ass. How was that even possible? And then Johnny glanced over his shoulder and caught me red-handed. “Like what you see?” he teased, arching his brow. “Oh god,” I squeaked and then tore my gaze away from his round, tight ass. “I’m so sorry.” Spinning around, I bit down on my lip and forced back a moan. “I didn’t expect anyone to be in here.” “It’s fine, Shannon,” he said, laughing. “Don’t worry about it.” Let me die. Dear God, open the ground and let me fall through it. “I, uh…” Shaking my head, I tightened my grip on my towel. “It’s…uh…” “I had a shower in my parents’ en suite,” Johnny explained. “I was just coming to grab some clothes.” “Oh.” I blew out a ragged breath and shifted from foot to foot. “Okay, yeah, that makes sense.” “It’s okay, Shannon,” Johnny said in a gentle tone. “Everything’s fine.” “I know that,” I blurted out, panicked. He chuckled softly. “Then why are you still facing the wall?” Dammit. Inhaling a steadying breath, I swung around and faced him. My gaze automatically swept over him and my heart rate spiked. For once, Johnny’s face wasn’t the reason for my rapid pulse. Nope, that ...

“Someone touched you,” Johnny whispered in my ear, placing his fingers on the marks. “I want to know who.”

“Tell me who put their hands on you,” he coaxed as he stood behind me, my face in his hand and his fingers on my throat. “And I’ll make it better.” Think, Shannon, think… “Well?” Hurry the hell up… “Shannon?” “I got smashed up in P.E.,” was all I came up with. Johnny didn’t respond. He just continued to stare at my neck with a dark expression. Panicking, I hurried to add to my lies. “It was my fault. I got in the way of the boys during soccer, and four of them ended up crashing into me.” Slipping around Johnny, I walked back into his bedroom, putting some space between us. “I ended up on the bottom of a pileup. Happened just before you came in.” Shaking my head, I forced a small laugh. “It was total carnage.” Johnny hovered in the bathroom doorway, expression tight, eyes sharp and intelligent. “So, the hand of one of the lads in your class just so happened to land on your neck?” he asked, tone laced with disbelief. “His fingers just so happened to squeeze your throat?” This one’s nobody’s fool, I thought to myself. Lie better, Shannon. “It didn’t feel like that at the time.” I gave him a weak shrug and sat down on the edge of his bed. “But I guess that’s what happened.” “You guess?” he repeated, folding his arms across his chest. The movement caused his huge biceps to bulge. He was seriously huge. It was incredibly intimidating. But I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. It was one of the few things in my life that I was absolutely certain of. This boy would never put his hands on me...

Keeping his back to me, Johnny leaned forward, his muscles flexing beneath his golden skin, rested his elbows on his thighs, and inhaled what sounded like several calming breaths. And then he did something I knew I would lose countless years of sleep over. He turned back around to face me, grabbed both sides of my towel, and pushed them together. To cover me, I realized. Because I had obviously been flashing him. Because let’s face it, that was exactly the kind of luck I had. “I’m so sorry,” I choked out, mortified. “It’s okay,” he told me in a gravelly tone of voice. “Did I—did you see my…?” He nodded. Oh god! “I am so sorry.” “Stop saying sorry,” he replied, voice strained. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.” “I’m sorry you had to see that,” I strangled out. Johnny shook his head and turned his back to me again. “Don’t apologize to me for seeing you,” he groaned, dropping his head in his hands. “Fuck!” My heart was racing so hard in my chest in this moment that I found myself breathing faster, exhaling in short, puffy breaths. What was I supposed to do? Run? Leave? Hide? Throw myself at him? I didn’t know. I had no idea what to do. I only knew that my body was rooted to his mattress, my eyes glued to his muscular back. “I’m going to take you home now,” Johnny finally stated quietly, head still in his hands. “Yeah, okay,” I whispered as the sound of my pulse hammered in my ears. “That’s what I’m going to do,” he added, though I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or himsel...

Releasing an unsteady breath, I reached up, grabbed Johnny’s neck, and pulled his face down to mine. And then I kissed him. I had no clue what to do next, my bravery deserting me in my moment of need, as I knelt on his bed and held his face in my hands. Johnny’s eyes were wide open and locked on mine, clearly stunned, as I pressed my lips to his. But he wasn’t kissing me back. In fact, I was fairly sure he wasn’t breathing. My actions had turned him to stone in my hands. My eyes were wide and bulging in my head as I broke the kiss and stared in horror right back at him. “I’m so sorry,” I blurted out, mortified. “It’s okay,” he told me, breathing hard. “No.” I shook my head furiously. “No, it’s not okay.” “Shannon, it’s okay—” “Oh my god! What did I do?” “Shannon,” Johnny coaxed, tone firmer now. “Stop. It’s okay—” “It’s not okay,” I strangled out as I scrambled off the bed and backed up, hitting his chest of drawers in the process. “I just—oh god!” Staggering backwards, I shook my head and held a hand out to warn him off when he took a step toward me. “I’m really sorry.” “Shannon, it’s okay,” Johnny said as he held his hands up. “Just stop moving around for a second and talk to me, will ya?” I didn’t stop moving. And I didn’t stop to talk. Because I couldn’t. I was in full-force panic mode, and for once, my flight instinct had kicked in. “I need to go,” I announced, mortified. “No, you don’t,” he replied calmly. “We can talk about this.” “No!” Shaking my head, I slipped ar...

Someone put their hands on her.

It was ridiculous, and she was ridiculous for feeding me that line. What did she think I was, some thick eejit who couldn’t tell the difference between an accidental bruise and foul play? I played rugby. I’d spent my whole life knocking up injuries and knocking lads out. I knew the goddamn difference between accidental damage and intentional harm. Someone squeezed her throat, and they did it so hard they left fucking fingerprints on her. If she was being bullied at Tommen, then I was going to find out. If it was McGarry, then I was going to end up in a cell. If it was those fuckers from BCS, then they might as well lock me in a straitjacket. I was about ten seconds away from going CSI on the situation, but then her big blue eyes filled up with tears and I was thrown another curveball. I had no clue how to handle girl tears. And girl tears coming from that particular girl affected me something fierce. And there was my hat trick… Going against every instinct in my body, because my judgment was clouded with the urge I had to comfort her, I’d given in to her pleas to get her clothes and take her home. But then I saw her—I fucking saw all of her—sprawled out on my bed, with my dog on top of her, and her towel hanging open, and my brain switched off, body taking over. And then she blew my carefully constructed world apart by putting her mouth on mine. Shannon kissed me and I froze. I completely fucking choked up, attacked by every abnormal, foreign emotion and sensation a person...

Get it together, Kavanagh. Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t kiss her. You know you won’t be able to stop.

Christ, this girl was killing me…

Problem was, the closer to the front door we got, the more depressed I felt. My dick was devastated. My chest was burning. My brain was doubtful. I was completely fucked.

“So, what?” he demanded. “You’re just going to ignore me altogether?” I shrugged helplessly. I knew what was coming if we spoke. He was going to give me the talk. And right now, with my emotions frayed and my stomach churning from anxiety, I honestly didn’t think I could hear that talk. I couldn’t take his rejection. “Shannon,” Johnny growled, clearly frustrated. Flicking on the indicator, he pulled onto the side of the road and killed the engine. Oh no. Oh please, god, no. “Shannon.” Turning in his seat, he pushed the armrest that separated us up and twisted his body to face me. “We need to talk about what happened back there.” “I’m sorry,” I got there first and said. With my heart hammering in my chest, I turned in my seat and faced him. “I am so sorry.” “I don’t want you to be sorry,” he replied, blue eyes burning into mine. “What happened in my room?” Shaking his head, he released a pained growl. “I didn’t expect it… I didn’t expect you.” His breath fanned my face as he spoke, causing my body to shiver involuntarily. “I don’t regret it,” he added. “And I don’t regret you doing that—” “But?” I filled in, keeping my eyes trained on my hands folded on my lap, knowing full well there was a but coming. “But I’m leaving in a couple of months, Shannon,” Johnny finally said. “Once the summer comes, I’ll be out of here and I won’t be back until school starts.” “I know,” I whispered, clasping my hands tightly together. Joey told me all about it. He was leaving to be a big star. ...

“You just what, Shannon?” he coaxed. “I thought you liked me,” I strangled out. “Jesus Christ,” Johnny groaned, dropping his head in his hands. “Of course, I like you.” He tugged on his hair and sighed. “I think it’s pretty fucking clear that I’m mad about you.” Exhaling a pained groan, he added, “But I’ll be eighteen in May, Shannon.” “I’m sixteen,” I whispered. “I know, Shannon, fuck I know,” he groaned, voice torn. “But I’m trying to do the right thing here.” My heart fluttered uncertainly. I didn’t know what to think or how to feel. He was rejecting me and telling me he liked me at the same time, and it was too much for my heart to take. “For who?” I croaked out. “For the both of us,” Johnny strangled out. “My career is taking off and I need to stay focused. And you deserve someone who can put you first.” He ran a hand through his hair again, looking both stressed and tired. “I can’t do that.” He looked me right in the eyes and said, “I want to—I really fucking want to. But I’m not in the position to do that for you.” Exhaling heavily, he added, “I can’t give you a relationship, Shannon, and it would be selfish of me to ask you for something I can’t follow through on.” There it was. The rejection I’d been waiting for. “I didn’t ask you for a relationship, Johnny,” I choked out, thoroughly humiliated. “I’ve never asked you for anything. So, don’t worry about giving me the let-me-down-gently talk because it’s unnecessary.” Johnny released a frustrated growl. “I’m not try...

Another knock came, louder this time, so I hurried down the remaining steps and wrenched the door open, only to find Johnny standing outside in the rain, looking like some sort of semidrowned angel. Instantly, my heart jackknifed in my chest and then began to thud so hard it was almost painful. Seriously, God? Why? “Hi,” I whispered, clutching the door with a death grip. The step into our house was a least a foot high, but I still found myself staring up at him. “Hi,” Johnny replied, blue eyes locked on mine. “You live at ninety-five.” I nodded, mortified. “I thought your house was number eighty-one?” He frowned. “That’s where I’ve been dropping you off.” I shrugged helplessly, feeling at a loss.

Like the creeper I was, I sank down on the foot of my bed, reached for his jacket, and held it to my chest. His smell was everywhere. On his jacket. On me. Holding the drenched fabric, I inhaled deeply, taking in the familiar scent of his deodorant and then mentally chastised myself for being such a freak. What was I doing? Why was I allowing myself to feel these emotions? They were dangerous. I had to stop. He doesn’t want you. No one does.

“So, here’s what we’ll do,” she said then. “You can keep me focused and away from Gerard when we’re in Donegal, and I’ll do the same for you with Johnny.” I exhaled a shaky breath. “About that…” “Go on,” she urged. Clenching my eyes shut, I blurted, “He dropped me home again.” “What?” Claire shrieked. I blew out a breath. “I know.” “Oh my god, Shan, what’s this about?” “I really don’t know.” I groaned, scrubbing my face with my hand. “I’m so confused.” “Confused?” Deciding to give her full disclosure, I whispered, “He didn’t just drop me home, Claire. I went over to his house again.” “Shut the front door,” she gasped. Nodding, I groaned into my hand. “And I kissed him.” “Shut the front door!” she repeated, louder now, and in a much more excited tone. “Where did this happen?” “In his bedroom,” I confessed, and then reluctantly added, “On his bed.” “Oh. My. God,” she squealed. “Oh my bloody god, Shan!” “He didn’t kiss me back,” I admitted, grimacing. “That bloody idiot,” she growled, tone switching instantly. “I’m the idiot, Claire,” I hurried to say, feeling just as mortified now as I was in his car on the drive of shame home. “What the hell was I thinking?” “Was he mean to you?” she demanded. “Because I’ll kick his big rugby-loving ass if he was mean to you—” “He wasn’t mean to me, Claire,” I croaked out. “He was…lovely.” “No, Shannon, you’re the lovely one. He’s a dick,” Claire corrected angrily. “Because only a complete dick takes my best friend to his house, brings her ...

“Morning,” Gibsie acknowledged, sinking into the passenger seat of my car on Tuesday morning. “How’d training go yesterday?” “I fucked up!” I blurted out. “You fucked up?” Gibsie arched a brow as he buckled himself in. “In training?” “No.” I shook my head. “I didn’t go.” “Why not?” “Because I fucked up!” “How?” “Fuck.” Groaning, I shifted into gear and pulled away from his house. “So fucking bad.” Tightening my hands on the wheel, I released a pained growl. “So fucking, fucking bad, Gibs.” “Are you going to say anything other than the word fuck?” he drawled as he pulled a blank CD out of his schoolbag and slid it into my CD case. “By the way, I burned this for you last night,” he added with a smirk. “I think you’ll enjoy it.” “Thanks,” I grumbled, too distracted to concentrate on anything other than my raging thoughts. “Now,” Gibsie said, pulling out a box of cigarettes. He placed one between his lips and sparked up. “Are you going to tell me how you fucked up?” “Roll the window down,” I grumbled. “You know I can’t stand the smell of those things.” “I presume this meltdown has something to do with little Shannon?” he offered as he rolled the window down and exhaled a cloud of smoke out of it. I nodded again, feeling panicky. All night, I had been waiting to get this shit off my chest. I could hardly breathe with the pressure in my body—that, and my regrets, and the smell of her on my sheets. I couldn’t even enjoy having dinner with my da, something that because of conflict...