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“Don’t you like it when a girl beats you?” I continued to tease, using the same smack-talk taunts that drove Joey berserk when we played together. “Can’t you take your beating like a man?” “You are so lucky you’re a girl right now,” Johnny told me, lips twitching. “Why?” I snickered. “Do you prefer losing to boys?”
Mrs. Kavanagh looked between us and then beamed. “He’s a terrible loser, isn’t he?”
They were told they were having a daughter, actually.” Grinning sheepishly, he added, “She got me instead.” “A six-foot-three rugby-playing son,” I mused, smiling back at him. “I can see why you might have thrown her.”
“Where will I put my clothes?” “Just throw them out to me when you’re naked…ah, when you’re ready,” he muttered gruffly. “I’ll put them in the dryer,” he added before closing the door and leaving me alone in his bathroom.
“That girl is fragile, Johnny.” Mam nibbled on her lip, brows furrowed in concern. “There is something about her that makes me want to wrap my arms around her and cuddle the sadness out of her eyes.”
“You could do a lot worse than a nice girl like her.” “Yeah, well, I don’t see her like that.” Lie. Lie. Barefaced lie. “She’s just a friend.”
“Thanks for automatically assuming that I’m a bastard, though, Ma,” I snarked. “I really appreciate the lack of faith my own mother has in my moral compass.”
One look at her sheepish expression and it was plain to see. “You meddler,” I accused. “You sexer,” Mam shot back in a tone as equally accusing. For fuck’s sake. I wasn’t going to win here.
I was not, however, prepared for the sight of Johnny’s naked ass.
God, he even had muscles on his ass. How was that even possible?
His focus had moved from my cheek to my neck. His expression was dark, face turning a dark shade of purple. “What the fuck is this?” he hissed. I followed his gaze to the faint purplish fingerprints lining my neck.
“Someone touched you,” Johnny whispered in my ear, placing his fingers on the marks. “I want to know who.”
The movement caused his huge biceps to bulge. He was seriously huge. It was incredibly intimidating. But I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. It was one of the few things in my life that I was absolutely certain of. This boy would never put his hands on me in anger.
“No. No! Don’t do that,” Johnny called me right out on my diversion. “Don’t try and brush me off,” he growled. “I want to know what happened to you, Shannon.” “I want to go home.” Sniffling, I quickly wiped my face with the back of my hand. “Now, please.” He ran a hand through his damp hair and sighed. “Christ, Shannon, don’t cry!”
“I can’t be alone with you like this,” he whispered, eyes locked on mine. “I…” He exhaled a ragged breath. “Not here…not when you look like that.”
Releasing an unsteady breath, I reached up, grabbed Johnny’s neck, and pulled his face down to mine. And then I kissed him.
If she was being bullied at Tommen, then I was going to find out. If it was McGarry, then I was going to end up in a cell. If it was those fuckers from BCS, then they might as well lock me in a straitjacket.
But then I saw her—I fucking saw all of her—sprawled out on my bed, with my dog on top of her, and her towel hanging open, and my brain switched off, body taking over. And then she blew my carefully constructed world apart by putting her mouth on mine. Shannon kissed me and I froze.
I completely fucking choked up, attacked by every abnormal, foreign emotion and sensation a person could think of. I didn’t expect it. I didn’t expect her.
Because my being here was temporary and that girl reeked of permanence. The best I could offer was friendship, even if that was the last thing I wanted.
“Jesus Christ,” Johnny groaned, dropping his head in his hands. “Of course, I like you.” He tugged on his hair and sighed. “I think it’s pretty fucking clear that I’m mad about you.”
He doesn’t want you. No one does. Feeling sick to my stomach with regret and anxiety, I pulled back the covers, climbed into my bed, and then curled into the smallest ball I could. Everything hurt. My body. My brain. My heart. Breathing slowly, I attempted to rid my mind of every bad thought plaguing me. Every embarrassing and soul-destroying memory of how ridiculously stupid I had behaved. It didn’t last long.
At school, they watched each other’s moves constantly. He was always coming over to her, cracking jokes and making pointless conversation. They behaved like an old married couple when they were together, with witty banter and quick retorts, and I couldn’t figure out why they weren’t a couple already.
“Obviously.” “Then he’s insane,” she grumbled. “If I had a penis or liked girls, I would want you.” “Thanks,” I half sobbed, half laughed. “If I had a penis or liked girls, I’d want you, too.” “So, we’re really not going to hate him?” “No,” I replied. “We’re really not.” “Ugh,” Claire groaned. “Fine.” “You’re a great friend, Claire,” I told her.
“Stop. I can’t. This is too priceless.” He threw his head back and howled laughing. “Mammy Kavanagh’s a better wingman than I am!”
“Did she have a cheat sheet with her?” “She didn’t need one,” I muttered as I pressed a button and rolled up the windows. “She had every bleeding code memorized.” “Oh god,” Gibsie groaned. “That is so fucking sexy.” I pointed to the passenger door. “Get out of my car.” “I’m not thinking about her like that.” He laughed as he swung the door open and climbed out. Yeah, he fucking was.
pack. “What’s wrong?” Johnny demanded, eyeing me with concern. He turned to Gibsie. “What did you do to her?” “Nothing, lad,” Gibsie quickly replied, holding his hands up. “I swear.” “She’s fucking crying, Gibs,” Johnny snarled, squaring up to his friend. “You obviously did something.”
“Don’t ever lie to me again,” he finally said in a quiet tone as he cast me a sideways glance. “I can’t take it.”
I glanced over at her and bit back a groan. She was so fucking beautiful it was painful, with those big blue eyes staring back at me all innocent and full of uncertainty. I didn’t need the temptation that came with being this close to her. Problem was, every time she ran, I found myself chasing right after her, desperate to just be with her.
“I like a lot of stuff,” I told her. You, most of all. “Shake it off, baby?” My brows shot up. “Excuse me?” “‘Shake It Off, Baby.’” Shannon stared back at me, all innocent and cute. “Do you like it?”
“Um, yeah, sure—of course,” Shannon mumbled, falling over her words in that adorable way she did when she was flustered. Don’t worry, baby, I thought to myself. I’m flustered too.
“Johnny?” Shannon whispered again. “Yeah?” “I’m going to hug you now.” She hitched her leg over mine. “Is that okay?” Don’t do it. You’ll never get over this girl. “Yeah.” I exhaled a ragged breath, feeling my heart smash against my rib cage, as she hovered above me. “That’s okay.”
“If I find out you’re lying to me, it won’t be your phone I’ll be drowning,” he growled, digging his fingers so hard into my shoulder that my back bowed without my brain’s permission. “Do ya hear me?”
One of these days, I was going to get out of this house. And when I did, I was never going to come back.
I needed to be really fucking careful with my next move, because once I decided that she was the girl for me, that would be that. Once I committed myself, once my heart laid claim on her, I might as well slap a label on my forehead stating, I’m yours. Please be gentle with me because I’m here to stay.
Gibsie snickered. “How are we friends?” “Been asking myself that for years, lad,” I replied, gaze locked on my work. “It’s one of life’s greatest unsolved mysteries.”
“Bella called Shannon a slut?” Gibsie scoffed, fluffing a pillow. “She’s one to talk.” “I know,” I grumbled. “That’s what I said.”
“Whatever, lad.” He shrugged, unaffected. “I don’t care what anyone thinks.” “Yeah, Gibs,” I replied. “I think we’ve established that.”
“Why don’t we all fuck off out of here for the rest of the day?” Gibsie interjected as he practically fell out of his chair in his attempt to intercept Johnny.
“Thank god. And for what it’s worth, I would have lost my shit, too,” he told me. “If some bitch talked about Claire like that, I would have blown ten head gaskets.”
“Binding thirteen,” Gibsie snickered as he tore off way too fucking fast for comfort. “Little Shannon blew that shit clean out of the water.”
“Who?” I demanded as I grabbed ahold of the Oh Jesus handle and threw a few Hail Marys to the man upstairs. Don’t let this fucker kill me.
“No problem,” Johnny muttered as he settled back, touching the bridge of his nose. “Christ, you’re a bit of a liability, aren’t you?”
“Did you listen to track nine?” Now I was embarrassed again. “I did,” I whispered. “Did you like it?” “Um.” I shrugged, unsure what to say. “What’s wrong?” “I don’t know what to make of it, really?” He frowned, waiting for an explanation. I shifted uncomfortably before saying, “‘Fuck Her Gently’?” Johnny gaped at me. “What?” “Track nine on the CD?” I shrugged. “It was ‘Fuck Her Gently’ by Tenacious D.” “Dammit.” “No, that’s Blink 182 and that was track four,” I replied. “Fuck it.” “No,” I corrected, “‘Fuck It’ by Eamon was track ten.” “What—no!” Johnny shook his head and groaned. “Jesus, what
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She was worth it all.
“Do you mind?” I asked then. He smirked. “No, baby, I don’t mind.” My heart stopped in my chest. Johnny’s face flushed and he shook his head. “I mean—” “It’s okay,” I whispered. “It’s fine.”
“Right.” Shaking his head, he turned his attention to my notepad. “Let’s do this,” he announced, clearing his throat. “Prepare to get schooled.” He flashed me an indulgent smile before adding, “Again.” I grinned. “I’m all ears.”
“Yes.” His eyes lit up. “That’s really good, Shannon.” I flushed bright pink from the praise.
With a devilish grin etched on his face, Johnny leaned into my ear and whispered, “I reckon I can make those pretty cheeks of yours turn pink.”
“I won’t,” Johnny stated, seemingly able to read my thoughts. “Whatever you’re used to,” he continued to say, eyes locked on mine. “Or whoever you’re used to. Whatever’s responsible for that sad look in your eyes—” He paused to brush his thumb over my cheekbone. “That’s not me, I’m not like that, and I won’t do that to you.”
