The Art of Husbandry (Mackenzie Country, #1)

by Jay Hogan

“I understood that grief and attraction and like and love don’t compete in some kind of linear race where only one can be in the lead at any one time. It’s more like a washing machine—everything present at the same time in a tangled, messy jumble. Sometimes one thing is on top, sometimes another. But paying attention to one doesn’t mean all the other stuff disappears.”

“Are you saying your kisses are worth two hundred and fifty dollars?”

Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, do not come anywhere near me or I will strip you where you stand and take you over that boulder in the river.

“And just so you know, I’m always excited when I’m with you.”

Was it a bad decision? Maybe. But at least it was a decision. I was done with standing still. Standing still was going to bury me, slowly, one grey day at a time. And I was done being scared to live again.

Romance, I mean. Food, wine, candles, music . . . and a large, studded dildo.”

“You know, I’d forgotten what this feels like,” I shouted into the storm. “What?” he yelled back over his shoulder. “Happiness,” I answered, my tears mingling with the rain to be washed off my face.

The high country works its own kind of miracles.

Instead, I kissed Gil’s head and anywhere else I could reach, murmuring reassuring nothings against his damp skin, telling him I’d be there, that I wouldn’t leave him alone. That I cared. That he meant the world to me. And in time the shaking stopped, his breathing evened, and he fell heavily into my arms. And as he slept with his eyelashes laced over his cheek, his heart beating strong against my chest, and his arm still tight around my waist, I whispered, “I love you.”

“I’ve never felt this before and it scares the shit out of me as well, but not as much as not telling you does. I’d rather tell you and lose you than have you leave without knowing the place you’ve carved out in my heart.”

“I lost my mind and a whole lot more the first time I saw you, Holden Miller.”

My guy. A sheep farmer. Go fucking figure.

I’m talking about letting someone else have your back. Trusting your secrets and your doubts to another person. You were letting yourself lean on Holden, and he wasn’t taking any of your bullshit, not like I did.”

You can’t always have all the answers and there are no guarantees. That’s why it’s called a leap of faith. That’s what all love is.”

I get that you have a whole life and a practice, business thing to consider. But right now, I don’t care about those. I just want you. Here, with me. So do what you have to do, but you come back here, and I’ll be waiting to talk. Not just listen. But don’t come back and just say no without talking about options. I’m not losing you that easily. Give me a chance, please. This life suits you, baby. You might not be able to see it yet, but I do. You belong here. You belong with me. And I refuse to leave you on the hill.”

“But do you think we might get up off this damn lawn so you can ravish me in your bed instead? I’m still waiting for the taking-care part of your offer to kick in.”

“I’ll have you know I aced animal husbandry at university. The human version might need a little fine-tuning but I think you’re safe in my experienced hands.” I counted off on my fingers. “Food, water, shelter, managing stress, and a good . . . breeding program.” I waggled my eyebrows suggestively.