I'm a Fan: A Novel

by Sheena Patel

No one can dispute my experience even if they might rail against the way I communicate that experience and this becomes my first line of defence—this actually happened to me can fight any accusation of the rough and amateur way I use the tools.

I am a pit of self-loathing. He plunges care and love into me but it only makes me hate him even more. Both of us pretend this part of our relationship is a bad dream.

I am used to secrets, the illicitness, the addictive quality to them, to knowing more than everyone around me, the power I could gain in a situation and the resentment which builds up against your authority figures for being so stupid, how can they not know of the Trojan Horse-like plans you make but instead of Troy, you’re invading some shit club in Wembley.

Once he’s clear my mother says, you don’t want to end up like me. I couldn’t live without your dad but I’m not in love with him.