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My mind feels muffled, my head hazy. This can’t be happening. Four Silencers stand in front of us, smothering our powers. Every contestant but Paedyn is feeling like their head is splitting. I know she isn’t affected by the Silencers’ power, but why is no member of the Resistance even touching her, guarding her, getting close to her?
Only a Silencer can beat a Silencer. And that’s exactly what I do. I beat him with his own ability. The weight of his silence slips from my shoulders. And then I consume them in flame.
I try to lift her up with me, but she’s heavy—dead weight. Literally. I choke at the thought as I push her off my lap and settle her onto the sand. I can’t take her with me. She will never get a proper burial. She will never get the goodbye she deserves. “I’m—I’m so sorry, A,” I whisper, kissing her forehead. “I’m so, so sorry.” I stand to my feet, wiping at the tears I tried to stop from falling. I start to turn away from her lifeless body, unable to bear the sight of it any longer. “I love you.”
Coward. Just like with Father. The symmetry in their deaths is sickening. Both run through in the chest. Both bleeding out before me. Both left lying on the ground, left to rot without a burial. Both deaths ending in me running. I want to scream. At myself. At their killers. At the world.
Powerless. In every sense of the word.
I start to follow them, my legs moving of their own accord, leading me to Loot. Leading me home. And then I stop. Something in my chest is aching—my heart. Adena’s vest. I spin, staring at the castle that holds the promise I made. “I’ll wear it every day for you.”
My heart squeezes as I pull out the vest I’ve kept hidden away. Its olive fabric is dull, and yet, I’ve never seen anything more perfect. I run my fingers along the pockets lining both the inside and outside of the vest, making it the ideal accessory for a thief.
“And what should I call you? King or coward? Liar or murderer? All would be appropriate, don’t you think?”
“You killed her.” He huffs as if this amuses him. “Who, your little friend?” His eyes flash, betraying the anger he’s kept buried. “No. You killed her. I warned you about the Trials. I warned you to stay away from my sons. You’ve made my kingdom look weak. You’ve made my heirs look weak.”
“You had Kai helping you in the Trials, running after you during a ball. You had the future king wrapped around your finger, spilling every secret and bit of information you needed. You are the murderer, Paedyn.” He takes a step toward me, and I’m rooted to the spot, shaking my head. “You forget what you are, Slummer. An Ordinary doomed to die. You are nothing.”
Why does it feel wrong to fight an Ordinary in an extraordinary way? So far, I’ve used only my own strength to kill them, avoiding the use of an ability. It feels like cheating for some reason, and I like to win my fights fairly.
My gaze lands on Kitt, watching as he douses those around him in flames. Something isn’t right. I’ve never seen my brother like this before. So bloodthirsty, so brutal. Usually, those words are reserved for me, the future Enforcer, and not Kitt, the kind and caring future king. But right now, he looks enraged, feral in a way I’ve never seen before.
“Don’t worry, Paedyn, I didn’t just kill your father simply due to some gossip, though I’ve killed men for less. I killed him to ensure my Elite society remained.” I can’t seem to comprehend what he’s saying, but that may only be due to the rage clouding all reason. “Admit it,” I spit, “you lied to create your Elite society. There is no disease spread by Ordinaries. We don’t weaken the Elites or their powers.”
He clucks his tongue. “I’m almost impressed that this pathetic little heart of yours is still beating. What, with all the betrayal, heartbreak, and near-death experiences you’ve somehow endured as an Ordinary.” “Everything I’ve endured was because of you,” I snarl, lifting my head off the ground despite how heavy it feels.
“Then I will leave my mark upon your heart, lest you forget who’s broken it.” His slices are deep and disgustingly slow. He goes over each line he’s carved again and again as screams tear from my throat. I close my eyes against the grin twisting his face, unable to bear looking at this man any longer. No, not a man. A monster.
“There.” Casual. He sounds so casual, so cruel. “Something to remember me by in the afterlife.” Then he lifts his sword, aiming the point down at my chest. No. No, no, no— He smiles. “Stabbed through the chest. Like father, like daughter.” I cannot die. The king towers over me, gripping the hilt of the sword, raising it up, up— I will not die.
Now I’m hovering over him. Funny how quickly our roles have reversed. Me, about to take a life. Him, about to be the life I take.
“Don’t you want to know who it was that killed your father, Paedyn?” That one sentence stalls the sword I’m about to shove through his chest. He rasps out a laugh before choking on his own blood. “I already know who it was,” I bite out through clenched teeth. “I saw you drive the sword through his chest.” I turn my attention back to the weapon gripped in my hand, unable to bear this anymore and ready to— “Wrong.”
“Funny how the mind can make us see what we wish to. You already hated me for what I did to your kind, so it must have been easy to convince yourself it was me who drove that blade through your father’s chest.” A bloody smile stretches across his lips. “But it wasn’t.” “Liar,” I breathe, pressing the sword deeper into his chest. His next words are little more than a hysterical whisper. “Let’s just say that your first encounter with a prince wasn’t when you saved Kai in the alley.” No. No. “It was when he killed your father.”
“His first kill, too.” The king continues with a bloody, reminiscent smile. “It was the first mission I sent him on, and I think the boy may have even cried after. Look at how far he’s come. Look at how well I’ve trained him. Now he kills at my command and barely bats an eye at the dozens of deaths delivered by his hands.”
I can barely breathe. The boy who taught me how to dance, healed my wounds, asked me my favorite color under the stars— “You’re lying,” I choke out. He lets out a raspy laugh. “No, you’re lying to yourself, Paedyn.”
I shake my head. I can’t think about this now. I refuse to let my reeling thoughts of Kai distract me from the task at hand. Because now I will kill his father. Once again, I find symmetry to be a sickening thing. I will not fail. The king’s smile is bloody. I will not falter. Hysterical, mocking laughter follows. I will not feel remorse. “Weak. Just like your father—” The sword I drive through his chest shuts him the hell up.
The silver-swirled handle of my father’s dagger is slicked with rainwater, blood, and mud—matching me. Drops of water stream down my face, stinging my open wounds as I turn the dagger over in my hand. I flip it once, twice, feeling its familiar weight. “And this is for me, you son of a bitch.” I let the dagger fly.
I feel like crying. Is it regret? No. Not regret. Not remorse. Not anything remotely close to guilt. It’s relief.
Every part of me is on fire. My body is screaming, streaked with blood, staggering with weakness. But I can’t stop.
I whip my head around and stumble to a stop at what I see. Every bit of his body is covered in blood. His hair is a mess of inky waves, sticky with sweat and streaked with blood. A thin blade is gripped between his fingers, his hand raised and ready to send it flying toward me. And something snaps into place at the sight of him. I’m suddenly back in my old home, hidden behind a cracked door as I watch a sword plunge into my father’s chest. The sword held by a boy with wavy black hair, a boy with gray eyes full of fear, a boy who just became a murderer.
My breath shudders as I stare at him. It suddenly all makes sense. The attraction. The connection. The familiarity. I was so easily drawn to him because deep down I knew him, recognized him, remembered him. He was familiar to me.
He knows what I’ve done. I doubt he would forget the distinct look of the dagger I’ve pressed against his throat so many times—the same dagger that is now protruding from his father’s throat. And yet, his knife missed me. Kai doesn’t miss. Not unless he wants to. “What have you done to me?”
How can a single moment mirror another in such a morbid way? Was it only yesterday that his lips formed those words with longing, and today with loathing?
My pitiful thoughts are interrupted by a strangled cry of frustration that has my eyes flying open. Kai’s hands are dragging through his hair, his head bowed. When his eyes finally meet mine, cutting through the rain and distance separating us, I see the battle raging within them.
He knows what he needs to do, and yet he isn’t. Kai’s voice trembles like his hands. “I should bury this blade in your throat.” And he could easily do it too. I have no weapons, no will, no energy to try to stop him.
“Then why can’t I do it?” Now he’s staring at the weapon in his hand, at the weapon he could easily take my life with. “Why is it that when it comes to you, I’m suddenly a coward? Why is it that when it comes to you, I suddenly care? Why is it that I can’t throw this damn knife at my father’s killer!?” His chest is rising and falling rapidly with each ragged breath. I, on the other hand, think I’ve stopped breathing altogether when he says, “I told you I was a fool for you, and it seems I was right.” His laugh is biting. “I’m a fool when it comes to you.”
“At least you kept your promise. You stayed alive long enough to stab me in the back.” He laughs bitterly, remembering the attack after the first ball when I tended to his wound. “And now I promise to return the favor.” His voice strains with emotion. “Run, Paedyn. Because when I catch you, I will not miss. I will not falter. I will not make the mistake of feeling for you.”
I throw a glance over my shoulder, glimpsing Kai dropping to his knees beside the king with his eyes trained on me. I swallow the emotions clawing their way up my throat, threatening to leak from my stinging eyes. I don’t look back.
How could I have been so blind, so oblivious? I watch her retreating form grow smaller, watch her escape me—escape a killer. Except, I didn’t act like the one thing I was born to be. I didn’t act like the murderer I’ve been molded into. I let her go. I let her go.
I haven’t shed a single tear. I feel numb. I feel shocked. I feel betrayed. Was anything real to her? Was it all a lie? All pretend?
I could never sense her power. She was untouchable to Silencers. The Resistance didn’t lay a finger on her when they attacked. Because she is an Ordinary. Because she is part of the Resistance. Well, she was. There is not much to be a part of anymore after today. How could I not see it before?
Then my fingers fumble across my chest, stopping only when they meet the shredded skin right above my heart. I wince, and I wish it was because of the pain. O. I trace the jagged lines that form that single letter. That single letter that will forever scar, marring it with the memory of him and what I am. O for Ordinary. The brand is just as mangled as the heart barely beating beneath it.
My heart splinters at the sight, lungs squeezing and legs shaking. It was only yesterday that the sight made me smile, that the symbol was slid into my hair by strong hands, sure fingers. “A forget-me-not, since you always seem to be forgetting who I am.” I stare at the bundle of blue flowers, mocking me with the memory of stolen touches, silent promises.
Oh, I remember who he is to me. How could I forget my father’s murderer? I stumble forward, blinking through the constant stream of rain and tears. Thick, hot liquid runs down my brand, my body, my very being. Honey. That’s what I tell myself. It’s just honey.
“Kai.” His attention snaps to me. “My coronation is completed, Father’s burial has been dealt with,” I pause, needing a moment to clear the emotion from my throat, “and you are now my true Enforcer.” He nods slowly, knowing all this information already. “So, it’s time for your first mission.”
Kai doesn’t look at me as he dips his head in a single, solemn nod. “Yes, Your Majesty.” The title on his lips sounds foreign, but I find I like the ring of it. I stand from my seat and stride over to the one with faded brown leather, filled with the memory of a dead king. And then I sit down, slowly. “Bring me Paedyn Gray, Enforcer.”
