The Throne of Broken Gods (Gods & Monsters, #2)

by Amber V. Nicole

“Years of love have been forgot, In the hatred of a minute.” ― Edgar Allan Poe, “To M⁠—”

I stared at the empty night sky, watching her dark wings beat across the sky, her sleek form disappearing into the roiling clouds. Away from me. “You promised,” I whispered as the sirens continued to wail.

So, no, Samkiel was who I was, who I would forever be, and Liam died with whatever part of Dianna’s heart fractured that night.

“When I burn this world to embers, and you paint me as the villain, remember, I really did try to be good… once.”

“She will come for us now. All of us. You heard the death cry and felt the world shake. Gabby was a leash that held a rabid beast, and now that tether is gone. There is no stopping her. I can feel it now. All of us can. Something shifted, something old and—”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I’m not dealing with just Kaden. I’m dealing with Samkiel and his legion of celestials who all believe in peace, love, and fuzzy feelings. Any of who would be more than happy to show up when I destroy everything.” Now my heart thudded. “What do you mean?” “I messed up.” She placed her head in her hands and shook it. “I assumed he was like Kaden, you know? He wouldn’t care what I did. There were times when Kaden wouldn’t talk to me for weeks. I was wrong about Samkiel, but I don’t understand why. We didn’t even have sex.”

“All I’m saying is, he’ll try to stop you. He will stop at nothing to get you, and not like Kaden. We’ve all seen the way Samkiel looks at you and how he is around you. Kaden had people watching the minute you left. Kaden wants to possess you, but with Samkiel, it’s more than that, and a part of you knows it.”

Mer-Ka was my birth name. Ain was Gabby’s, and Eoria was the home where we knew peace so long ago.

“You helped her?” Curiosity got the best of me. “What transpired?” “That is top-secret sister information. Maybe one day, if your intentions change, she will tell you. Or maybe she won’t. All I’m saying is that anyone would be lucky to be cared for by my sister. I never gave up on her, and if you guys are going to be partners in this whole mission, maybe don’t give up on each other.”

“Also, here’s a piece of top-secret information while you guys work together. She will never ask for help, trust me. She is headstrong and will go into things without thinking. Dianna thinks she is invincible, so please watch out for that too. She’s hard on herself and thinks she messes up when she doesn’t, which is annoying because I think she’s perfect, but whatever. Also, never tell her I said that. She has this face she makes where she scrunches her nose when someone tells her something sweet. It's hilarious. Oh, and watch her if she gets quiet. Usually, that means she is planning something extreme. She likes to lock herself away in her head. She always has.” “All of this is very valuable information,” I said with a small smile and stood. “Listen, I’m just trying to make sure my sister returns to me in one piece.” “I assure you she will.” “Good.” She took another bite. “She’s not whatever you or anyone thinks. She’s nice, funny, smart, and kind… well, when she wants to be.” “Yes, I am… learning.” “Good.” Another crunch. “Also, don’t tell her we ever had this conversation.” “I swear I will not.” “Thanks. You’re not as terrible as she said.”

“You know we have a name in our world for what you are,” I said, speaking over Ethan, my eyes opening. “There is no translation in your language, but it means the lowest of men. You are cowards. Traitors. I’ve met skinless grizzly beasts who fight harder than you two have. You’re even less than the shit rodents leave behind. You claim to love and care for her, yet you let him have and take the one person she loved.” I paused, trying to rein in the thundering in my chest and the clouds growing outside. I took a breath, shaking my head as I studied them. “You have taken someone from me with your actions—someone very precious to me. And now you have helped a lunatic corrupt her already damaged heart, shattering it into a million pieces. They are pieces I will pick up and fix, but what you have done is unforgivable. I plan to make you suffer for that transgression. Death would be a kindness, and you deserve none.”

“Look, I know how you feel. I get it. I know you love her. Kaden knows it too. Why do you think he did what he did?” Ethan said, his voice filled with desperation. I narrowed my eyes at him. Every word he spoke just added fuel to my rage. “He will keep her away from you if it’s the last thing he does. You’re too strong together, too powerful for what he has planned, what they have planned. If she’d stayed with you, it would have messed up everything. You two were never supposed to meet,” Ethan said, struggling against the grip of the celestials.

“Don’t mistake my words.” I took a small step toward her, the dirt beneath my boot crunching. “I want to help you. You don’t have to be alone. You don’t have to go through this tremendous grief and loss alone. This, killing them, isn’t the way to heal any of it, and once all that anger and grief wears off, you’ll be left with nothing but an empty void. Trust me. Please.”

“And how does the World Ender look at her, Brother?” “Like I looked at Seraphine all those years ago, and how you look at Naomi.” Ethan met my stare. “As if the world doesn’t exist without her.” Ethan’s eyes darted from mine. “I hope for the sake of the world you are right.”

“Always the hero.” Her eyes roamed over me before she met my gaze. “I always thought of myself as a monster, and I suppose now it’s true. You have no idea what I have done. All I will do. I used to hate that part of me. I didn’t realize how freeing it would be just not to care and fully embrace it.” A slow smile crept across her face, her fangs glistening as she gripped Drake’s throat so tightly blood spilled over her knuckles. “I don’t hate it anymore.”

“You know, that’s not even my real name.” “What?” I shook my head, lowering one hand. “It’s Mer-Ka. Ain made us change them when we first ended up in Onuna. A fresh start, she preached. They are from another stupid show she foolishly idolized. Dianna and Gabby, sisters in some small town, with lives, jobs, and everything she thought we could have too.”

“You’re not her,” she growled, holding Drake a fraction tighter. I held that brutal, chaotic gaze steadily. “Of course not. The way I care for you is vastly different. The lengths I will go to for you are unfathomable. I refuse to let you hurt yourself, no matter how vile or mean you are to me. I know you’re in pain. You are mourning, and someone like you will grieve just as hard and deeply as you love.” “You’re wrong.” Her nails dug deeper into Drake’s neck. “I’m beyond that now. Now? I just want blood.”

“I cannot lose you. You are my last hope.” My voice cracked as I lowered my head. “Trust me. I’m not.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, my fingers slick from his blood and ash. Something in me snapped, tears stinging my eyes. “How am I supposed to get her back?” “You don’t need me for that. I betrayed and lost my truest friend.” He shook his head, the effort causing him pain. “I can’t lose her.” My voice broke this time. “You won’t.” I glanced up at him. “What do you mean?” “I saw it when she first stepped out of the forest, a flicker in her eyes as if a part of her tried to crawl to the surface for you. I thought Gabby was the last tether, but you are. You are her only link to whatever mortality she has left. So don’t let Kaden win, no matter what she says or does. Trust me. You are the only thing she cares about now.”

Drake turned back to me. “Dianna is stronger now. Every Otherworld creature felt it when Gabby died. The world shifted, but she is still Dianna. She is still the girl I saved in the desert who cared so much about others that she followed a stranger into a terrible world. She is still the girl who likes flowers and pretty gifts from overbearing god kings. She is sweet, kind, funny, and loves with her entire being. That’s why she is like this. She’s hurt. She’s in pain. If you love her, truly love her, don’t give up. True love is worth it. It’s worth fighting for. Remember that.”

“Just don’t give up on her.” His voice was a broken wound now. “Gabby wouldn’t.” “I won’t. I swear it.” Drake struggled to turn his head and look at Logan. “I’m sorry about Neverra, but she is alive.” Something eased in Logan’s expression, and I realized he’d needed to hear it said out loud, even if the mark on his hand remained. “Kaden has her. You just have to find him. Look where the world opens.”

What happens when an Ig’Morruthen consumes too much?” They went quiet as the text suddenly flipped open, the pages expanding out in a diagonal line, exposing the words across the top. The First Rule of Pharthar. Created when the Ig’Morruthens first appeared, it depicted exactly what I feared may happen. “Pure and absolute desolation. That’s what I fear. I may be the World Ender, but they were the first destroyers of worlds.”

I leaned closer to her and reached out to trace the letters into the wet paint. “What are you doing?” Gabby asked. “Making it ours.” When I finished, I stepped back, the letters QRMA written on the wall. Gabby smiled and stared at the first letters of hers, our parents, and my names.

“Beware the blood-red moon.”

“Is this retaliation for the worldwide curfew?” I smiled wickedly. “Maybe.” Camilla sighed. “I swear, this is just another prolonged version of flirting for you two.” “I am not flirting.” I glared at her,

“You know, your reactions make sense now.” I don’t know why I indulged him, but I stopped, my foot resting at the door’s entrance. “What?” “I lost someone. We all have. Grief is mourning, but you’re not grieving. You skipped straight to anger and revenge, and it’s because you feel guilty.” Guilty. The word rang in my head as it charged toward a door wrapped in chains. I felt my fangs extend, the tips pressing against my lips. “You hesitated, girl. I saw it during the card game, even through your disguise, and I saw it when you looked at my phone. I know that look. All monsters love something.” He let out a wet laugh. “You and the World Ender. That’s what hurts the most, isn’t it? You fell in love with him while Kaden took your sister. I’ve been there. You guys might not have been fucking when he took her, but you weren’t there when she needed you. You weren’t there because you⁠—”

pieces if he had to. “I am very aware of how far he is willing to go. He has poisoned her, degraded her, threatened her, had monsters drag her back to a hole in the ground while she screamed, ripped her to pieces, manipulated the people closest to her to betray her, and then he took the one person she loved away from her all because she refused to return to him.”

“I had not summoned it since Rashearim fell, not until her. Do you know why? Because there are no boundaries I will not cross if it means keeping her safe, especially after everything you all have taken from her. It is the highest law not to touch anyone in my court or what I consider mine. That act alone is punishable by death, and she is mine. It will be your end.” “Well, from what I’ve heard, I don’t think she knows that.”

“I will admit that I do seem more erratic, and I am aware it is because of Dianna. It’s confusing and frustrating. I have never felt for another how I feel about her. She makes me feral and possessive, but not in the way your master is. I would never hurt her, and I cannot allow her to keep hurting herself. That’s what she’s doing, and her pain grows every time she kills. She feeds and takes others to sate the part of her born from grief. She is trying to bury herself under those kills and prove to herself that she is the monster you all believe her to be. None of you know her. She is so much more. Dianna was kind to me and helped me when I did not deserve it, so I must also be that for her. She has no one else. Kaden and all of you made sure of that.”

“I will admit, I enjoy the fact you thought of me while you were with others,” I called over the raging storm. “Did it help you come, or are you still deprived, my Dianna?” Whatever retort she’d prepared died the second those words left my lips. She faltered, and even though she corrected herself almost immediately, I saw her reaction to me calling her mine. I saw the flicker of recognition in her posture as if she still craved and treasured those words. In that moment, I knew I’d won. She knew it too. “I’ll take your silence as a no.”

“I still care about you. Need you. Want you. I always will.” “Well then, I guess that’s a problem because I don’t care about you. Not when the cost of it took everything from me.” Her lips pursed into a thin line. “You’re not worth it.” I had hit a nerve, and she’d struck back. “Don’t project onto me. I know you, even if you hate it. You care about me. I know what I felt then, and I know what you felt. It was real. It’s the only thing I can still feel from you, and I will stop at nothing to have you back with me. I won’t let you suffer alone. You know I won’t. I’m too damned stubborn.”

A smile graced her lips as she forced my chin up with the flat of her blade. “Look at that. Gods do know how to bow.” “If you wanted me on my knees, Dianna, all you had to do was ask. You know that.” “Tempting.” She rocked the blade under my chin, forcing my head back. “You should grow the scruff back, though. I like the way it tickles.” “Whatever you want.” Her smile was all fangs and cold brutality. “Whatever I want?” “Always.” “I do want something from you.” She leaned a fraction closer, the tip of her blade pressing into my neck. “I need you to bleed.”

“At this point, I’m starting to think the violence is foreplay for you.” “We both know that’s not what I like.” “It’s not?” He stepped closer, encompassing me in his warmth and scent. “Come home and teach me what you do like.” Home. The word pulled at me, and I faltered. I felt my body slip as if I were taking a step forward, as if I considered it, as if he was my home. But no. I was doing it again, letting him get in, letting him distract me and make me feel.

“You can keep pretending that what we have done and been through meant nothing to you, but I know the truth. You have affected me on some deep level, Dianna, and I know you feel it too. I know it,” he called after me.

“You don’t think I know what this is? You let Kaden get into that beautiful head far too easily. Let his words twist what we both know is untrue. I would never hurt you or abandon you, Dianna. What happened to everything we said? What happened to your burdens becoming mine? I know you are in more pain than anyone should have to bear. Let me help shoulder some of this weight for you.”

“Good witch.” A forced smile curved my lips. “What about the talisman? Any luck?” Camilla grabbed a small green vial. “Even with Samkiel’s blood, I need to make sure it can get you in and out without turning you inside out.”

“Ain is good with helping you and Ma with medicines and the people here, and I-I don’t know where I fit in.” “And you assume fighting and blades are for you?” A look crossed his features, one I had not seen on him before. He wasn’t scolding me by any means, but it was as if he knew a secret I didn’t, and I was close to finding it. “It’s freeing in a way. It’s like a dance except with sharp objects.” I smiled. “Yes, and it is also a good skill for you to have so that you may protect yourself and our family if need be.”

“Dianna. It’s not her. Not really. Gabby spoke about it once with Nev and I. How bad she had gotten when she first changed. She also told me she dragged her back from it, and I know you can, too. She’s just grieving.” “I know. Gabby told me the same thing, oddly enough. Not in great detail, but she did mention it to me.” “You spoke to her?” Logan lifted a brow. “Yes, I had called to talk to you, but she answered. She spoke like Dianna. As if she has never met a stranger in her life.” “That she did.” Logan smiled softly. I knew Logan had cared for Dianna’s sister. So had Neverra, and that care had led to Neverra being so far out of our reach. “I hope that you also know anyone Dianna is with physically while she is in this place of despair means nothing to her.”

“I’m possessive of Neverra in the same regard.” “That is different. I have no claim over Dianna.” My voice was barely above a whisper. “It is dull-witted of me to profess such an assertion when we never spoke of it. Even if it pains me, we never talked about ourselves like that. Everything happened so quickly, I suppose. One moment I felt as if we couldn’t stand the sight of each other, and the next…” I glanced at the cup in my hand as if it would give me answers. “The next, I couldn’t stand the thought of being away from her.”

“You truly blame me?” “I blame everyone involved,” I snapped at him. “You saw. You knew what would happen to her, yet you said nothing to Samkiel or me while we were here.” “I told you everything that’s to come. You did not listen. Instead, you clung to The World Ender with defiance on your tongue.” I squeezed a fraction harder, and the head that watched me joined the others, continuing to spin. “Now look at you. You have come fully into your own power. You could burn stars, conquer worlds, all of it if you should wish it. And all must happen appropriately to ensure what’s to come.”

“For what’s to come?” “Your ascension.” “My what?” “I see different realities, one per second. No matter the reality, your sister was supposed to die in every single one of them. Some sooner than others. In this reality it is how it had to be for you to ascend to power. You were always the catalyst for worlds to burn.” My heart dropped, and whatever was left of it shattered. “So, you’re saying no matter what it’s my fault?” My breath hitched. I really had killed my sister. The room threatened to swallow me whole. A blade ran across my already bruised and beaten heart. A cut so deep I wanted to scream, but nothing came. “You mistake my words. Gabriella fulfilled her purpose just like you will yours one day. The universe will have its balance one way or another. That is how it has been and always will be.”

“I understand I failed. I do. My father died because of me. I lost the war and, in doing so, sealed the realms and us here. I understand your disgust or loathing for me because I feel it, too.” I rubbed a hand across my face. The bristles covering my jaw scraped against my palm. “And you know what the funniest part of this is? It’s that it took someone who our texts label as our enemy to bring me back. That’s what she did. She brought me back, and it wasn’t in the way you think or some crass joke Cameron cannot wait to make.”

“I didn’t have to tell Dianna anything at first. She saw me, all of me. Just as I have seen her, she is strong and selfless. I’ve seen her run headfirst into danger for those she cares for without a single thought for herself. She’s funny and smart and beautiful, so beautiful. She’s a fighter, a warrior stronger than any I’ve ever trained. Above all, she is a woman who had no choice in the life thrust upon her. Dianna survived against all odds for Gabby, and Kaden ripped her away. Dianna is not a monster. She never was. She loves, cares, and feels, and right now, all she feels is grief, pain, and loss. I’m not… I won’t give up on her. Who would I be if I did?”

“You still hold on to the same prejudices that the gods before us clung to. She was not born an Ig’Morruthen. Kaden made her. She allowed him to carve her from the inside out to save the very sister she lost. You see blood, death, and anger, but not the pain I see. You cast stones and judge her, but you stood by my side for eons while I shed more blood than she ever will. All of you made noble and honorable excuses for my destructive nature, but I will carry the consequences of it until my last breath.”

“That was different,” Vincent interjected. “You’re different.” The ring on my right hand vibrated, calling the Oblivion blade forward. It hummed in my hand, and Vincent took a step back. The sword chimed, ready to eat, to taste death. The swirling black and purple smoke caressed it as I gripped the hilt. Everyone leaned away, trying to put distance between themselves and me, whether or not they realized it. “Tell me what it is, what it does,” I demanded, lifting the sword and shaking it. “Explain to me how I’m a savior when the very blade I created ends worlds. Tell me I’m worth it. Tell me I am not the cause of our damnation. Tell me why I can’t sleep. Why do war drums and the screams of every battle echo through my skull? Tell me why my very existence is crumbling. Tell me how to fix me, Vincent, since you know so damned much. You can’t because no matter what you or anyone else wishes to believe so you can sleep better at night, it is the same thing. Dianna’s and my crimes, no matter if they are in the name of peace or not, do not differentiate. Death is death. If she is a monster to you, then so am I.”

“Stop.” I raised my hand, my migraine roaring back. “You will have a choice. One you must make. Choose out of selflessness, and the path is set. Choose vengeance, and well, the outcome will be devastating.” “Another damned prophecy?” I groaned, rubbing my brow. “Not a prophecy, a path, a choice. One only you can make.” “You literally just said that in different words.” I scowled,

That’s what Kaden reminded me of when he showed me Samkiel. He got his family back, and I lost mine.” His voice was like a whisper in the wind. “That’s where you are wrong. There is so much you have yet to do and see. You’ve only just begun.”

“If I could make a suggestion.” I sighed, raising a single brow. “Go on.” “I would merely suggest you be more careful with whom you spend your free time. Gods, like Ig’Morruthens, are very territorial beings. To put it lightly, your attempts to drown yourself in men and women every night to erase the taste of Samkiel are in vain. It will not deter him. He sees past your illusion. I would not be surprised if he even feels your pain on some level.”

“Also, I hope you are aware that being betrothed means something else in the Netherworld.” Of course, Reggie hit the mark on the head once more. “I don’t care,” I said with a sigh, opening my eyes. He nodded toward the bottles surrounding the tub. “This would also suggest otherwise.”

“What happens if I rip you into tiny shreds in a small area? Do you think it would affect my temple?” “I think this act you portray will only suffocate you. Burying feelings hurts no one but yourself. You will drown in the tide you are trying to subdue, slowly and painfully. You will end up truly numb. That will be a grand mistake and not only just for you.” I traced a bubble on the side of the tub. “You know you make sense only like fifty percent of the time, right?” “I know you hear me perfectly, yet you refuse to listen. I understand your grief for your sister, but why does feeling for Samkiel hurt you as badly? What else have you buried?”

Roccurem tilted his head. “Enlighten me.” “She is so vicious and uncaring. So⁠—” “Don’t mistake her behavior, young witch. She is in pain. Grief is a powerful emotion that all beings handle differently. No one is the same. The god king sees it as well.”