How to Honeymoon Alone

by Olivia Hayle

To everyone whose favorite vacation is a really good book.

Best place ever!!!☺️love it

I look at him. “You’re going to work?” He keeps his eyes trained on the menu. “Would you rather we talk about nothing important just to fill the silence?”

😂😂😂

“But it never hurts to be prepared. Those who fail to plan⁠—” “Plan to fail,” he cuts in. “I couldn’t agree more.”

Finishing each others sentences already are we!?🤭

“You make me sound like a psycho.” “Aren’t all writers?” she asks,

Although i love my writers! YESS you guys are psychopaths😭

“I have to say, you’re my definition of a hero.” My eyebrows shoot high. “A hero?” “Dealing with two dozen small kids every day? Half of whom can’t sit still, and the other half who want to eat glue? Yes.”

😭😭to be fair! Glitter glue looks delicious okay!

“Give me your phone,” he says. “You’d like a picture of yourself here with the sunset, wouldn’t you?” “Oh, good thinking! Thanks!”

Greenest of flags😍🤭

“Darn,” I say. “If only you were five years old.” He snorts and runs a hand over the back of his neck. “You could have given me a pair of scissors and I’d be happy again.”

The simplicity of kids is so adorable 😂

“You know, I might’ve seen something about rum in my itinerary.” “Really?” “Yeah. It was a private tour of a distillery and a rum tasting.”

😂😂I love this guy!

It’s not like it’s eating me alive or anything.

Its definitely eating u alive😂

A hand curves lightly around my waist, and then his voice is by my ear. His breath tickles my skin. “Sit back properly, Eden,” he says. “It’s safer.”

🫣Yes…its “safer”

Phillip’s voice returns to my ear. “Relax,” he says again. “You okay?”

🫣this made me giggle

He turns to face me fully. “You’ve been looking for me?” he asks and sounds inordinately pleased by that fact.

🥵the way he says it🫣bc duhh

“I can borrow it?” “Yeah. There’s a turtle down there. Take some pictures for your class back home.”

And he’s committed to her endeavors????

I’d want to spend the evening on the couch with a book, and he’d call me boring or lame.

Major red flag girlie

“So Caleb wasn’t the best in that department, was he?”

Lmaaaaao

“Sex doesn’t have winners and losers.” “Oh, Eden, it definitely does,” he says. “I like winning… and I like making sure the woman I’m with wins, too. Several times.”

GREENEST FLAGGG

They smell so much better.

Some Of them dont

“Mmm. Hate it when they run out halfway through,”

“I’ve never met a man whose ego can handle constructive criticism.”

He kisses my lips gently before tracing the edge of my jaw. “I didn't expect this, Eden. I didn't expect you.”

been… well, he hasn’t been himself since you broke off your engagement.”

This b*tch is weird😑🙄

“Wait, just hear me out,” she urges. “Caleb is really sorry. He said you won’t answer his texts or calls, and that you’ve blocked him entirely. You two were together for seven years. Do you think that’s really fair?

Fair!?? Is she fkn serious….wtf do she seriously expect eden to get back with him bc he is sorry!? F*uck him…and f*ck her for trying to make excuses on his behavior

He must be delusional to think I’d ever consider that.

thigh. “As much as I like you here, you’re going to have to release me, baby.”

😖omg omg omg😍

“I’m not musical at all,” he says. “I was a juggler.”

Lmaaoo a juggler is crazy

“Fine. But I’m not getting into any sacks.” * * * He gets into a sack.

😂😂😂yeah oK

“Thanks, sweetie pie.” He frowns. “No.” “My lucky charm?” “Absolutely not.” “My honey nut,” I say, and then grimace. “No.”

Cringing so hard rn

“I should step it up. So… okay. You asked for random facts, right?” “Hit me.” “A duck’s dick is shaped like a corkscrew,”

That took a WILD turn😂😂😂😂

“Good thing you’re a self-controlled lawyer with the discipline of steel.” He glances down at my legs. “I used to be,” he mutters. “Now, I’m someone who competes in sack racing.”

“That’s… a pretty good assessment.” “I pay attention,” he says.

🥹greeen flagg

The word flashes through my brain. Condom. “Oh. I didn’t even think about that.”

Me either😭😭lmaooo

His voice is rough in my ear. “I’m close now. So fucking close.” “Yeah?” “Yes. God, you take me so good.”

😩Oh em gee!!!

“His fiancée,” she says. And then she hangs up.

OMFG

His eyebrows lower. “Not where I thought you were going with this.”

😂😂dude! I think we all know what u were thinking🫣

“For being my guide.”

🥹

My phone number is below. One text from you, and I can be on the next plane out to Washington. Phillip.

omggggg

Actions speak loudest. Because intentions? They whisper.

turn. Your beautiful brown hair, and your quick mouth, and these dark eyes. I could look at them forever.”

I knew I had to find you.” “You did.” “I did,” he says and runs his fingers over my cheek.

“You’re the most wonderful thing I never saw coming. I need more of it in my life.”

Because the adventure we’re setting off on? It might just be my favorite one, yet.

but there are some things you just have to be a romance reader to appreciate.

“It’s right this way, Mr. and Mrs. Meyer.”

So i guess this is their REAL honeymoon vacay🥹❤️😭

“You know, this is technically our second honeymoon.” “It is,” he says and squeezes my hand. “And it’ll be our best one yet.”

🥹im not crying