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“I haven’t gone deaf.”
The many buttons she ripped open.
Sometimes I wish I could step outside of myself for a while. I want to leave this worn body behind, but my chains are too many, my weights too heavy. This life is all that’s left of me. And I know I won’t be able to meet myself in the mirror for the rest of the day.
“My opinions,” I say to him, quietly this time, “should not so easily break your own. Stand by your convictions. Form clear and logical arguments. Even if I disagree.”
She is a soft, deadly creature. Kind and timid and terrifying. She’s completely out of control and has no idea what she’s capable of. And even though she hates me, I can’t help but be fascinated by her. I’m enchanted by her pretend-innocence; jealous, even, of the power she wields so unwittingly. I want so much to be a part of her world. I want to know what it’s like to be in her mind, to feel what she feels. It seems a tremendous weight to carry.
That this girl would know exactly how to shatter me.
Forgive me.
It’s a strange thing, to never know peace. To know that no matter where you go, there is no sanctuary. That the threat of pain is always a whisper away.
My thoughts, I think, will soon be sound. My mind, I hope, will soon be found.
I’m trying to focus, telling myself these are just empty words, but I’m lying. Because somehow, just reading these words is too much; and the thought of her in pain is causing me an unbearable amount of agony.
To know that she experienced this.
I’ve come to believe that the most dangerous man in the world is the one who feels no remorse. The one who never apologizes and therefore seeks no forgiveness. Because in the end it is our emotions that make us weak, not our actions.
People seldom realize that they tell lies with their lips and truths with their eyes all the time.
“Disappointed, because you’d have lost your pet project? Or devastated, because you’d have lost the girl you love?”
Swallow the tears back often enough and they’ll start feeling like acid dripping down your throat.
I almost forget that she still hates me, despite how hard I’ve fallen for her. And I’ve fallen.
So hard.
Love is a heartless bastard. I’m driving myself insane.
