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If you spend too much time alone you'll eventually feel detached from other people and from life. Being alone is a frame of mind that becomes comfortable and relatively stress free so even the prospect of socializing can seem like too much effort.
A better way to look at meeting people is to look for matches, that is to look for people you have something in common with instead of wanting to be liked by everyone. This one shift in attitude takes a lot of pressure off and allows you to accept that there will be matches and non-matches and it's all perfectly normal,
It's perfectly natural to feel some excitement, just turn that into movement before you get stuck to the spot and caught up in over analysis of the situation. If you delay you'll find so many reasons
not to approach someone that fear will take over, you'll revert to talking to whoever is nearby and end up forcing a conversation that has no future with someone who is a mismatch for you.
This is the opposite of what socially confident people do, they habitually replay successful encounters and operate from the belief that they have excellent social skills. They play down failures and mistakes as minor and inconsequential, they learn from them but don't dwell on them.
It takes tremendous pressure off your shoulders when you know you can approach someone and talk for a few minutes to see if you have a good match and if you don't it’s perfectly acceptable to move on and talk to someone else. Some people don't look at it like this and think if they approach someone and don't have an engaging 40 minute conversation they have failed to be accepted and liked. This is a recipe for fear of rejection, fear of failure and self-consciousness. Do what confident socially active people do, talk to a whole range of people and accept that some interactions are short,
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feeling awkward wishing you could disappear into the floor. Instead, you can be the director of your own social life - choose who to talk to, how long to talk and what to talk about. The key is deciding upfront you have an exit and being ready to use it.
This is a key issue for people who get nervous about meeting new people and wonder about what to say. They think too much about what to say and how to say it when the real goal is to get to know someone or get to know someone better. The conversation is a means to an end not the end itself. If the goal of a conversation is to get to know someone then establishing a connection is what it's all about. To do this you need to know and like whoever you are talking to and this in turn is driven by curiosity. When you want to know someone's opinions, feelings and perspective that curiosity
drives the conversation and makes the connection happen. And this is why a general curiosity for people is very helpful.
you enjoy variety and new experiences make sure to take control and suggest new venues, new activities and new places to visit. That excitement alone can be enough to ignite great conversations with everyone enthusiastic about the new sights and sounds. This is a great basis for suggesting further excursions and for planning ahead for friends and family to join you.
Socially active people turn up ready to have a good time when they attend a social event, they dress well, have plenty to talk about and they are in a good state of mind for meeting people. This is often the complete opposite of what socially awkward people do, they just turn up and hope for the best and then wonder why they get stuck for words. It doesn’t have to be like this.
When you live like this you’ll be a master of forgiveness and someone who quickly turns every annoying interaction into an opportunity to forgive and feel better in a matter of moments while still resolving issues that need to be dealt with.
You are in charge of how you feel and how you interact so you can simply move on and meet friendlier people who appreciate and respect you.
Kindness, gratitude, loving yourself and forgiveness provide the solid foundation you need to truly be at peace with yourself and others.
Whether you are happy or not is a question of how you think and feel and has nothing to do with the reactions of others unless you decide to live with that false belief.
Revise beforehand! - I don't mean turn into a nerd, you don't have to write it down and take a pen to paper. However you can simply have a map of your thoughts in your head, with the topic of conversation clearly planned out. Then on opening your mouth the words will flow, you won't be stuck in a mess of thoughts and ideas and you will be able
to take the conversation just where you want it to go!
Nerves are what you make them! Teach yourself that nerves really are what you make of them. Don't allow nerves to escalate and hold you back.
Being tongue tied and losing your words in conversation really is a result of carelessness.
Stay confident, be calm and don't let nervous thoughts fill your brain just focus on yourself and the words that you need to express!
Have you ever entered a pet show? This is useful if the person you are talking to seems particularly proud of their dog, cat , etc. You can then go on to chat about the experience of participating in these shows or preparing the pet for it. It may even lead to some humorous stories along the way. 2. Why did you choose that particular breed? People will love the chance to reveal the wonders of their particular chosen breed of pet. 3. Was your pet easy to train? Again, this can lead to funny stories if you find that they have trained their pet in some way; it could be
as simple as house-training; it doesn't have to involve elaborate circus tricks.
Posture says a lot about a person's personality and mood. Slouching shoulders and a curved spine, as well as helping someone to develop round shoulders over time, says that they are depressed, down, and lacking confidence in themselves. That kind of posture can become a self-fulfilling prophecy as it soon begins to affect a person's mood negatively.
You will probably be able to sense right away if someone is deliberately angling their body away from you, even if you don't consciously process that thought. People tend to sit angled towards and even leaning towards, people they like. This may not happen when you first meet someone, as they may wait a little while to gauge what you are like, but if they start to position themselves in your direction and lean in closer to you, then the chances are that they are beginning to like you.
To wrap up, make a point of being positive, friendly and focused on the other person. Be concerned about their welfare and help them when you can. When you deal with new people in this way you’ll find that people warm to you quickly and they are keen to get to know you better.
