Tethered Love

by Kimberly Brown

Carmen sighed. “Don’t you miss him?” Eliana took a sip of her wine cooler. “Of course I miss him. My heart feels right with him, Carmen. When I look at him, I don’t just see Violet’s father or my best friend’s old boyfriend. I see him as a man. He’s a man who makes me laugh. He’s a man I can talk to at the end of a long day. He makes me feel beautiful and sexy. I’m free with him, Carmen. I haven’t felt that since Allen. I know it hasn’t been a long time, but everything about him feels right with my soul.”

“Sounds like you love him,” Carmen said, stretching her eyes.

“I think I’m falling. This move… it could mean happine...

“I’m right there with you. Violet has been beside herself these last couple of weeks. I almost had to snatch her little ass up this morning.”

“You weren’t listening to me. All I wanted was you. That’s what you weren’t understanding. We were perfect like we were, Malachi. We were happy and it wasn’t enough for you. I would have been content with being the pretty little housewife. I would have taken care of you. A baby changes everything.”

He could see the anger in her eyes… the pain. She pulled back and leaned against the counter, wiping her nose.

“You come from a good home. You were born to two people who love you and would do anything for you. You’ve never had to struggle. You’ve never gone through any trauma. All you’ve known your entire life is love. Your parents love you. Your brother and your friends love you. Everybody loves you, Malachi! I’ve never seen you make one enemy. I’ve had enemies since the moment I was conceived. The very first was my mother.

“You know what she used to tell me when she was drunk off her ass while my father was working late? She hated me. She couldn’t stand to look at me because she didn’t want me. She wanted this picture perfect lifestyle; the house, the cars, the expensive lunches with her friends, and elaborate vacations. She wanted to enjoy my father’s family’s money and the fruits of his ...

“She hated me,” she reiterated. “And she hated my father for spoiling me with all the love and attention she didn’t. When he came home from work, I was the first person he came to. No matter how late it was, he always came to my room to kiss me goodnight. When she didn’t want to deal with me, he took me with him to work, knowing I would behave because I loved being with him.”

“When my father decided to run for judge, he was home a lot less. The less he was home, the more she drank. She started having strange men over when he was gone and threatened to whip me if I ever told. I couldn’t tell him if wanted to. He was so busy with his job that he threw me to the side. I did everything to get his attention and he just brushed me off.” “Z…”

“That’s the problem with men,” she said, pointing the gun in his direction. “Y’all muthafuckas don’t listen. You’re all selfish… every last one of you. You always take everything you can. Easton’s father was just like that. He sold me a dream. I allowed him to fill my young ass mind with sweet nothings and in return, he left me when I ended up pregnant. He left me to go through that by myself.

“My father was no help and when he found out it was his colleague, he chose to save his own ass. You see, the judge gets commission from every bed he fills at the state penitentiary. He’s been padding charges for years now.”

“Of course he couldn’t ruin his reputation,” Ziva continued. “I remember every word of the conversation he had with me about the whole thing. When he told me I was going to keep Easton, I cried for days. I didn’t want to touch him, I didn’t want to hold him or bond with him. I didn’t want him, and I was forced to keep him and learn to love him. Imagine the one person you loved most in the world betraying you. Now imagine it happening over and over. I never felt like I was worth shit to anybody until I met you. Then you betrayed me too.”

“I’m sorry, Ziva,” he said, pushing himself up to sit on the edge of the tub. “I hate you had to go through that. You were a child, and somebody should have put your best interests first. I’m sorry that—” “I don’t want your apologies. They mean nothing to me, just like I meant nothing to you. Did you think about me at all while you were out building relationships with her and your daughter? Did you think about me when you were fucking her, Malachi? You just moved on with no regard for me!”

“I chose my child. What happened with Elle… it just happened. Shit is different with her. We connect on a deeper level.”

“You have a lot of nerve talking to me like you aren’t a pedophile. I was fifteen. You were a twenty-six-year-old man fucking a child. How could you go home to your wife after being inside me? How could you look your daughter in the face knowing you were sleeping with someone young enough to be her older sister?”

“You got exactly what you wanted from me, baby. All the attention your daddy wasn’t giving you.” He looked up at Judge Shaw. “You know she used to call me Daddy too? For obviously different reasons,” he added with a chuckle. “Maybe you need a reminder of why you called me that, Ziva.”

“You grew up and filled out perfect. All the dick you’ve taken over the years, I know you learned a few new tricks. You just remember who taught you first.” He reached out to touch her. Without even thinking about it, Ziva pulled the Beretta out of her purse, pointed it at his groin, and fired. The shot rang out as Andre cried out in pain. Seeing the blood all over the front of his pants was satisfying for Ziva. He’d never violate another young girl. He’d never violate anybody. She raised the gun and fired again, this time hitting him in the chest. He stumbled backward, clutching his chest with wide eyes.

“Everything I am is because of you! You didn’t protect me! How could you love me so much and then do what you did to me?”

“Fuck the family! You are my father! You didn’t protect me from your wife, and you didn’t protect me from him! You should have been willing to kill or do time for me!” Judge Shaw’s back hit the wall behind him. There was nowhere for him to go.

“I fucked up, E. I fucked up and I needed to tell you I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put on you. I’m sorry for everything you had to see. I’m sorry I never told you I loved you every single day. You deserved so much more than I could have given you and I’m sorry.” She cried audibly as she picked up a pen and scribbled a note down on a piece of paper. Even if she’d done a horrible thing, she could do something right for many people. “You’re a good boy,” she told Easton as she wrote. “You’ve always been a good boy and I’m so proud of you. You go through life, and you be someone great. Don’t let having me as a mother keep you from growing into a good man.” “Mama—” “Promise me something. Promise me you’ll find you a good woman and make her your wife. Never take her for granted. Always treat her with love and respect. And always love your children. You protect them by any means, do you hear me?”

“It’s over now… You’re finally free…” With that final thought, she pulled the trigger.

“And just so we’re clear, I love you, too, Eliana.”

“When I was on my way back in here, the chief recognized me and stopped me. We got to talking and he asked me how he could get me in here. When I told him we were moving, he immediately offered me the position of Chief of Plastic Surgery. Of course, there are a few formalities, but the job is mine.”

“You are my son,” Malachi told him. “No matter what you do, no matter the circumstance, you will always be my son and you will never ask me that again.” He’d made it clear, and the topic was never brought up again. He was family and that was it. Even though he was back at school, he came home twice a month now to spend time with them. Violet loved him and Eliana loved him too. Where she once had no children, she now had more than enough and she was grateful.

He went to every doctor’s appointment and every birthing class. Whenever she was feeling nervous or scared, he was right there to comfort her and wipe her tears when she cried. He'd been everything to her, and she was so grateful to him.

“Because today is the last day you go without the promise of carrying my last name.” He pulled a small velvet box from his pocket. Eliana gasped as he opened it to reveal a beautiful two carat, pear-shaped diamond ring.

“I know this journey hasn’t been easy. I know it hasn’t been ideal. I know it hasn’t always been fair. But since we were brought together by our beautiful daughter, you’ve been a constant in my life. I thank you for being the wonderful mother you are to our children. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for taking care of me and taking a chance on me. I love you with every beat of my heart, Eliana.

“I know timing wasn’t right before, but right here, right in this very moment, I’m asking you to be my wife. I’m asking you to continue to raise our family together… to fall more in love with each other every day… to grow old with me. Eliana Kelis Barlow… Excuse me, Doctor Eliana Kelis Barlow…” “Get it right, Daddy,” Violet said, giggling.

“I got this, Baby Girl,” he said, grinning. He turned back to Eliana. “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” “Yes… yes!” She nod...

Malachi slipped the ring from the box and slid it on her finger. Eliana threw her arms around him in a tight hug as tears streamed down her face. It took eleven years to find him, but this man was one of her greatest loves. They were bound to one another… bound by Porchea,...