The Twelve Caesars

by Suetonius

Because, according to an ancient custom, it was not lawful to strangle virgins, the young girls were first deflowered by the executioner, and afterwards strangled.

Among various kinds of torture invented by him, one was, to induce people to drink a large quantity of wine, and then to tie up their members with harp-strings, thus tormenting them at once by the tightness of the ligature, and the stoppage of their urine.

with a frowning countenance, being for the most part silent: when he spoke to those about him, it was very slowly, and usually accompanied with a slight gesticulation of his fingers. All which, being repulsive habits and signs of arrogance, were remarked by Augustus, who often endeavoured to excuse them to the senate and people, declaring that "they were natural defects, which proceeded from no viciousness of mind."

In regard to the gods, and matters of religion, he discovered much indifference; being greatly addicted to astrology, and fully persuaded that all things were governed by fate. Yet he was extremely afraid of lightning,

partly from an ungovernable appetite,

The people were so much elated at his death, that when they first heard the news, they ran up and down the city, some crying out, "Away with Tiberius to the Tiber;" others exclaiming, "May the earth, the common mother of mankind, and the infernal gods, allow him no abode in death, but amongst the wicked."

We may even ascribe to her dark intrigues the dissolute conduct of Julia for the woman who could secretly act as procuress to her own husband, would feel little restraint upon her mind against corrupting his daughter, when such an effect might contribute to answer the purpose which she had in view.

she introduced amongst the Romans the horrible practice of domestic murder, little known before the times when the thirst or intoxication of unlimited power had vitiated the social affections;

But the (243) fame which he acquired, served only to render him an object of jealousy to Tiberius, by whose order he was secretly poisoned at Daphne, near Antioch, in the thirty-fourth year of his age.

The remaining son, Caius, on account of his vicious disposition, he resolved to appoint his successor on the throne, that, after his own death, a comparison might be made in favour of his memory, when the Romans should be governed by a sovereign yet more vicious and more tyrannical, if possible, than himself.

he endeavoured to secure in his interest every lady of distinguished connections, by giving secretly to each of them a promise of marriage, as soon as he should arrive at the sovereignty.

Neither age nor sex afforded any exemption from his insatiable thirst for blood. Innocent children were condemned to death, and butchered in the presence of their parents; virgins, without any imputed guilt, were sacrificed to a similar destiny; but there being an ancient custom of not strangling females in that situation, they were first deflowered by the executioner, and afterwards strangled, as if an atrocious addition to cruelty could sanction the exercise of it.

and even the tears of a mother, at the execution of her child, were punished as a capital offence.

when his corpse was burnt, the heart was found entire among the bones; its nature being such, as it is supposed, that when tainted by poison, it is indestructible by fire.

and new-born infants exposed.

the king of kings 383 forbore his exercise of hunting and feasting with his nobles, which,

"There never was a better servant, nor a worse master."

Thus far we have spoken of him as a prince. What remains to be said of him, bespeaks him rather a monster than a man.

but being told that he far exceeded the grandeur of kings and princes, he began to arrogate to himself a divine majesty.

He ordered all the images of the gods, which were famous either for their beauty, or the veneration paid them, among which was that of Jupiter Olympius, to be brought from Greece, that he might take the heads off, and put on his own.

He also instituted a temple and priests, with choicest victims, in honour of his own divinity.

In his temple stood a statue of gold, the exact image of himself, which was daily dressed in garments corresponding with those he wore himself.

the temple of the Deified Augustus,

He said that his mother was the fruit of an incestuous commerce, maintained by Augustus with his daughter Julia.

He forced Silanus, his father-in-law, to kill himself, by cutting his throat with a razor.

Being at the wedding of Caius Piso with Livia Orestilla, he ordered the bride to be carried to his own house, but within a few days divorced her, and two years after banished her; because it was thought, that upon her divorce she returned to the embraces of her former husband.

but he soon afterwards parted with her, interdicting her from having ever afterwards any commerce with man.

The consuls having forgotten to give public notice of his birth-day, he displaced them; and the republic was three days without any one in that high office.

Sometimes shutting up the public granaries, he would oblige the people to starve for a while.

After disfiguring many persons of honourable rank, by branding them in the face with hot irons, he condemned them to the mines, to work in repairing the high-ways, or to fight with wild beasts;

or tying them by the neck and heels, in the manner of beasts carried to slaughter, would shut them up in cages, or saw them asunder.

He ordered the overseer of the spectacles and wild beasts to be scourged in fetters, during several days successively, in his own presence, and did not put him to death until he was disgusted with the stench of his putrefied brain.

He burned alive, in the centre of the arena of the amphitheatre, the writer of a farce, for some witty verse, which had a double meaning.

Roman knight, who had been exposed to the wild beasts, crying out that he was innocent, he called him back, and having had his tongue cut ...

Nor was he satisfied, until he saw the limbs and bowels of the man, after they had been dragged through the streets, piled up in a heap before him.

"Remember that all things are lawful for me."

He generally prolonged the sufferings of his victims by causing them to be inflicted by slight and frequently repeated strokes;

"Strike so that he may feel himself die."

Having punished one person for another, by mistaking his name, he said, "he des...

Being incensed at the people's applauding a party at the Circensian games in opposition to him, he exclaimed, "I wish the Roman people had but one neck." 434

Persons were often put to the torture in his presence, whilst he was dining or carousing.

At Puteoli, at the dedication of the bridge which he planned, as already mentioned 438, he invited a number of people to come to him from the shore, and then suddenly, threw them headlong into the sea; thrusting down with poles and oars those who, to save themselves, had got hold of the rudders of the ships.

he delivered him immediately to an executioner, with orders to cut off his hands, and lead him round the guests, with them hanging from his neck before his breast, and a label, signifying the cause of his punishment.

When a victim was to be offered upon an altar, he, clad in the habit of the Popae 439, and holding the axe aloft for a while, at last, instead of the animal, slaughtered an officer who attended to cut up the sacrifice.

and now and then he would threaten to put his dear Caesonia to the torture, that he might discover why he loved her so passionately.

There was one Esius Proculus, the son of a centurion of the first rank, who, for his great stature and fine proportions, was called the Colossal. Him he ordered to be dragged from his seat in the arena, and matched with a gladiator in light armour, and afterwards with another completely armed; and upon his worsting them both, commanded him forthwith to be bound, to be led clothed in rags up and down the streets of the city, and, after being exhibited in that plight to the women, to be then butchered.

Caligula rose in such haste from his seat, that, treading upon the hem of his toga, he tumbled down the steps, full of indignation, (277) and crying out, "A people who are masters of the world, pay greater respect to a gladiator for a trifle, than to princes admitted amongst the gods, or to my own majesty here present amongst them."

in the practice of mutual pollution.

in that abominable act.

To some he sent a divorce in the name of their absent husbands, and ordered it to be registered in the public acts.