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“She’s having trouble breathing, man. You’re causing her stress. She’s not mad. She’s trying to survive in there.”
I lost everything here. I could rebuild or start fresh somewhere less… Reid-centric. He’s impacted every part of my life for more than a year. He’s in the air, under my skin, stealing my thoughts, ripping out my heart.
do me one favor.” “Yeah, okay.” “When he calls—which will be sooner than later—don’t kill his hope.” “I don’t know—” “You don’t have to know anything. He’s hurting too. You need time. He needs time, but that doesn’t mean you can’t talk while you’re taking that time.” “I can’t argue with that.” I could, but I don’t want to. The idea of never talking to him again is inconceivable no matter how hurt or confused I am. Time. It could make or break us.
I don’t feel brave or smart for leaving him. I feel lonely and broken.
I came here to mend, to get my head on straight, to figure out my future. Yet all I feel is his heartbreaking absence and my festering emotional injuries.
Reid: I know we’re not talking-talking, but you have to know… Reid: I love you. Reid: I don’t intend on letting you slip away.
“What do I always say?” “Take what I need,” I whisper. “That’s right. And what do you need, baby?” His anger is gone, but the need is ever present in his tone. I can practically feel him pressing me against the wall with his larger-than-life body, heating me up, seeking truth in the depth of my eyes, and breathing hope and love into my melancholy existence. “You.”
“It’s too late to head out now. You need daylight when hunting for flowers.”
“Um, Daisy, there’s a hulk of a guy blatantly staring at the back of your head like he wants to consume you in one bite.”
Chin trembling, I come face-to-face with the man who left me on that flimsy ledge to live while locking himself inside my burning apartment. He left me. He saved me. He sacrificed for me.
At this moment, in his presence, I’m not even sure that’s what I was mad about. Or if I’m mad at all. I’m afraid of losing him to his job, to his courage, to his selflessness. I’m afraid of loving him and losing him in a snap of a finger, in a flash of a flame.
He sits me on the porch railing, my back to the ocean, I’m barely registering if the sun is rising, or if it’s him bringing all the light back into my life.
All I want to do is get her home, in bed, naked, and under me so I can reintroduce her to the depth of my love.
At the top of the stairs, I fit to her back and still her hand before she turns the knob. “I need you to know before we step inside that there’s nothing you can say or do to make me not want a future with you. I know we have lots to discuss, but I don’t want you fearing the outcome. No matter how messy the middle gets, I’m still here for the finish.”
“Please,” I beg. Tears fall as my hurt mixes with need to never let him go. “Flower.” He gently lowers me to the bed, coming down with me, his hands softening the fall before bracketing my face. “Please,” he kisses my cheeks, “please don’t cry. I’m here. We’re here. We’re together. We can work through it all, just let me love you. Let me show you.”
He gave so much, and I’ve hardly been living. “I’m barely alive without you,” I whisper across his lips. He presses his mouth to mine, moving slowly, sucking my top lip, then my bottom. “Let me remind you what living feels like.”
When his brown eyes land on my greens, I give him the only truth he needs, “Make it hurt, Reid. Show me how much you want me.” The fierceness of his features softens as his forehead lands on mine. “Daisy, I don’t need to hurt you to show you my love—my want. I’m not about that. I was rough with you last night. Today, I want to make love, not fuck.”
I already had my eyes on my Sequoia. Hoping someday he’d see me. Turns out he saw me all along.
I settle him. I’m his safe place. And he’s mine.
