How to ADHD: An Insider's Guide to Working with Your Brain (Not Against It)

by Jessica McCabe

ADHD brains are chronically understimulated, which is why treatment involves stimulant medication. When something isn’t interesting to us, it’s harder for us to pay attention to it.

Andy Dwyer interrupts his boss’s instructions to enthusiastically exclaim, “I wasn’t super paying attention to what you just said we would be doing, but I will give it 110 percent! As soon as you repeat yourself in a more interesting way.”

The default mode network is more active in ADHD brains than neurotypical brains.[*3] This tendency isn’t a choice; it’s due to our brain structure. There is more gray matter in the default mode network of ADHD brains than neurotypical brains. Because of this, it’s easier for this part of the brain to be activated and stay activated—leaving the door open for distractions and shower thoughts.

divergent thinking (n.) A cognitive process that generates creative ideas by exploring many possible solutions or bouncing from one thought to the next. Divergent thinking generally occurs spontaneously, is seldom linear, and tends to produce abundant and unique ideas.

And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good. —JOHN STEINBECK, EAST OF EDEN

What happened? I couldn’t explain it. The systems just fell apart. As an adult, I celebrated ADHD New Year’s with new purses, apartments, and desks. With new hobbies, friendships, careers, and credit cards. I’d move into a new place and buy organizing bins and cleaning supplies, putting everything where it belonged and feeling so proud of myself. Two weeks later, all the surfaces would be cluttered, the sink would be full, and I’d spend hours a day looking for things I swear I just saw.

In retrospect, my need to be organized was a way to gain some semblance of control in a life that often felt far outside my control.

The truth is the opposite of what most of us were told: the reason those of us with ADHD have trouble functioning isn’t because we haven’t found the right system yet and/or don’t “stick to it.” It’s actually the other way around. The reason we have trouble sticking to these systems—and why our stuff, time, actions, emotions, and words “spill over” onto those around us—is because we have trouble with executive function.

Executive function (EF) is like the CEO of the brain. It’s a set of top-down cognitive processes (executive functions) that help us self-regulate so we can effectively plan, prioritize, and sustain effort toward long-term goals.

executive function (n.) A set of top-down cognitive processes (executive functions) that help us self-regulate so we can effectively plan, prioritize, and sustain effort toward long-term goals.

EXECUTIVE FUNCTION IS IMPAIRED IN ADHD BRAINS

ADHD struggles are more broadly due to executive functioning difficulties. Executive functions that tend to be impaired in ADHD brains include:

Response Inhibition Response inhibition refers to the suppression of actions that interfere with a goal or are inappropriate (or no longer appropriate) in a given context.

These actions are all common—and frustrating—results of impaired response inhibition. Stimuli happened—and we responded.

Working Memory Working memory refers to our ability to temporarily hold information in our mind, manipulate it, and produce a response or action.

Set-Shifting Set-shifting refers to our ability to switch between tasks that have different cognitive demands, like reading a recipe and cooking it, or switching from being a speaker to being a listener during a conversation.

Set-shifting is moderately impaired in ADHD. In

EXECUTIVE FUNCTION DEVELOPS MORE SLOWLY IN ADHD BRAINS

With ADHD, executive function is delayed—up to 30 percent. That means the eighteen-year-old you’re sending off to college might have the executive function of someone who is twelve. This is why those with ADHD can seem “immature.” It’s also why we can seem as if we’re misbehaving intentionally when we’re not.

But it’s especially important to understand for those of us with ADHD. While executive function impairments explain many of our struggles, they don’t paint the entire picture. Otherwise, ADHD would just be called executive function disorder.

There are also differences in our motivational processes that make us more likely to choose smaller rewards now over larger rewards later (see “How to Motivate Your Brain,” this page).

“With my ADHD, every day is different. I have amazing days and terrible days—but rarely ‘average’ days. I have tons of ideas or a blank mind. I am one hundred percent unproductive for most of the time, but then manage to catch up with everything I should have done in an extremely short amount of time.”

“When I’m struggling with tasks and whatnot, almost everyone in my life has told me to ‘just start.’ It hurts me every time, because I feel like they don’t take the struggles I have (because of an actual brain disorder!) seriously.”

1. HAVE LESS STUFF TO MANAGE There’s a common saying that regularly makes the rounds in the ADHD community: “If you want to do more, do less.”

Because we often take on way-the-f*ck more than we can handle, one of the most helpful ways for those with ADHD to better manage their stuff is simply having less of it.

Delegate areas of responsibility. Delegating individual tasks often requires more cognitive resources than it saves for those of us with ADHD. Delegating entire areas of responsibility, however, can be more executive function efficient because it allows someone else to take over both the doing of a task and the management of it.

Keep systems simple. While it might be fun to set up an elaborate organizational system when we’re hyperfocusing on it (see: issues with response inhibition), being able to maintain that system when we need to turn our attention to other things is another story. Simplifying your systems so they’re easier to maintain can make it more likely to be—and stay—functional in the long term. An example of this is “books go on the bookshelf” as opposed to “books need to be put on the correct bookshelf, sorted by color and size.”

Practice minimalism. Minimalism essentially means owning less stuff. It’s a lot easier to manage clutter if you don’t have a lot of stuff to create it.

Say no (to at least some things). Limiting the number of ongoing projects, especially long-term ones, takes pressure off our executive function. The stuff-we-could-do-in-life buffet is unlimited. Our capacity is not. If your plate is full, don’t get another plate.

THE ADHD CYCLE OF OVERWHELM[*3]

The way to step out of this cycle is often by starting to do less—ideally an amount that you can currently handle. And before committing to more, level up your skills.

“As a Certified Financial Planner, I only see clients and offer advice. Someone else manages my calendar, records notes, builds client plans, manages revenue collection, and handles anything operational.”

“Lower the bar! Let the floors be dirty. Let the laundry sit in baskets for two weeks. Who cares? Make sure you and the kids/plants/pets are fed. Make sure there’s time for sleep (if possible), and fun. Laundry will keep. Life won’t.”

When we face struggles that others don’t, we need tools that others don’t.

Add scaffolding. Just as you use training wheels to learn how to ride a bike, you can put extra supports in place to help you learn a new system or take on new responsibilities. For example: first, I have someone sit with me and do a thing. Then I’ll sometimes do it on my own. Once I get the

Self-advocate. Speaking up when someone can make a task more doable for you lets others know how they can help you.

Ask for formal accommodations. In the US, students and workers with disabilities (and, again, ADHD can qualify as a disability) are legally entitled to reasonable accommodations. Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) and 504 plans protect students, and the ADA (the Americans with Disabilities Act) protects those who are no longer in school. The Job Accommodation Network’s website (askjan.org) lists accommodations by disability or impairment, and it even has a live chat option for those who need guidance.

live in fear of the surprise ‘let’s talk’ meeting with my boss where I find out I’m falling behind or have been doing something wrong for six-plus months. So we started weekly check-ins where he would give me a

quick, reassuring green light that everything was from his perspective.”

3. ACCOUNT FOR THE ADHD TAX The ADHD tax is a colloquial term used in the community to refer to the additional expenses we incur simply by having ADHD in a world that doesn’t account for our challenges. While the term typically refers to financial costs, the ADHD tax can include energy, time, and other resources. And it is expensive.

Examples of the ADHD Tax Late fees Rush shipping fees Fees for subscriptions and memberships we forgot to cancel Beverages that have gone flat or missing Replacements for things we lost or broke Last-minute tickets for traveling or missed flights because you were late

forgot your ID / went to the wrong airport Leads we forgot (or were too overwhelmed) to follow up on Car accidents we got into because we were distracted by billboards Time. Spent. Looking. For. Everything. Constantly. Vegetables. (Yup. Go check the drawer. I’ll wait.)

Use services for tasks that aren’t error tolerant. Many people with ADHD hire others to manage important tasks they may otherwise forget or mess up.

Set up shortcuts. For things you do often, learn—or practice—ways to cut down on the steps that they involve.

Invest in tools that can help. If you know that you lose things, look into Bluetooth trackers like Tile or features like Find My iPhone.

“My smartwatch reminds me of all the things. My watch is always on vibrate, so I am tapped every time there is a reminder app notification or an alarm I set. I have repeating alarms for waking up, leaving for work, three breaks at work, leaving work, etc. Certain health apps remind me of things like when to fast, when to check blood sugar, etc. If I need to get poked at for some reason, I set my watch to notify me somehow. Having that physical feedback is essential because I miss a lot of notifications on my phone.”

4. BUILD WHAT WORKS FOR YOU We often build systems for the person we’d like to be rather than the person we are.

Look at what’s worked before. We can often reuse and repurpose strategies that have helped us in the past. Even if they’re not a perfect fit, we

Look at what you currently do. If you usually spend an extra half hour after an exciting meeting brainstorming and infodumping at the person in the next meeting, maybe let them know that’s the plan and make sure they’re cool with that?

Consider your preferences. Motivation can be a huge challenge for those with ADHD. If you love Doctor Who, getting a Doctor Who key holder might make it more likely you’ll hang your keys there. If you hate spending time in the garage, is that really a good place to put the elliptical, Jessica?[*5]