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August 3 - August 3, 2023
“The difference between him and me is that he left his family. Mine left me.”
And three weeks later, I stood in a hospital room while my mother was diagnosed with cancer. You know what they say: when it rains it pours.
“I fucking told you; you can’t push him when he’s like this. He’s reckless and unstable. You know him better than I do. You should know there’s more shit going on than either of us know about!”
“If you came for a divorce, now’s really not a good time,” he spits.
“Oh, so all of a sudden you care about my wellbeing? Where the fuck was that shit two years ago?”
He’s broken…and I’m to blame.
“I need you to stay,” he says, then corrects himself. “Hayes needs you to stay.”
“I’m going to sell the house.”
“Maybe I didn’t make myself clear yesterday,” I growl. “You’re not getting a divorce. So go ahead and do the little vanishing act you’re so fucking good at because I’m not signing anything.”
“Didn’t you actually get me in more trouble once?”
“I don’t mean to make you feel worse. I really don’t. But hurt is a bit of an understatement, honey.”
“What I’ve wanted since I was fifteen,” I answer. “You.”
“That’s the thing, Lai. You had me. I was all fucking in. But you threw that away.”
“Ten minutes?” he asks, and I nod. “See, that’s where we differ. You only need ten minutes with me, but I needed the rest of my life with you.”
“You know, for someone who couldn’t bother to say goodbye, you sure seem to have a lot to say now.”
“So, you’ll fuck me but you won’t talk to me?”
“Sucks, doesn’t it?”
“No,” I sob. “You’re not hearing me! It wasn’t my choice to leave! You have no idea how bad I wanted to turn around and run back into your arms! It took months before I could even so much as breathe without feeling like I was dying inside! So, you’re wrong! I wasn’t living my life as if we never mattered because you have always fucking mattered to me! You mattered to me before you ever considered me as something other than a child!”
“I thought Hayes doesn’t do commitment,” Riley murmurs.
“He did for her.”
“There’s a part of me that still loves you,” I say honestly. “There’s always going to be a part of me that still loves you. But right now, there’s a part of me that wants to hate you, and I’m not sure which is stronger.”
“Nice shirt,” I deadpan. “Glad to see you got something of mine while leaving me nothing of yours.”
“Fine,” she reluctantly agrees. “But if you take her back, and she fucks you over again, I get to punch her in the face.”
“I mean, if that’s the way you want to die, that’s on you.”
“Unclench your jaw,” Mali murmurs from beside me. “Your jealousy is showing.”
“When the hell did you get back?”
“When this one decided to play bumper cars with a motorcycle.”
“Rude of you to insult me when you’ve given everyone else a hug but me. Am I your victim of the night?”
“Do you want one?”
“I mean, if you’re giving them out…”
“Nuh-uh,” Lucas whines. “He had his shot. It’s my turn.”
“Yeah, yeah. Tell me all about someone else stealing you from me. It’s fine. I like the pain.”
Who the fuck is Nolan?
But I couldn’t help it. Seeing him so jealous over Nolan, thinking she’s something more than my overly sexual roommate with no boundary issues, it took me right back to when he would rip someone apart with their bare hands for looking at me too long.
I need to clarify who Nolan is.
“Yeah. That was fun. Until you left me there.”
“I did.”
“…Left me like I l...
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“I don’t hate you, baby,” I whisper. “I just hate that I wasn’t enough.”
With Mali right beside him.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught them like this, and it doesn’t get any less tiresome to watch. They make me dizzier than Laiken was last night.
“What? Go ahead,” he taunts. “Tell her all about how you’ve been fucking her brother.”
“I feel like I should be though,” I say. “Over her, I mean. I feel like I need to be.”
“Or you could tell me what you think about every time you retreat into yourself after we have sex.”
“Just wondering how much longer you’re going to be here before you go back to your perfect new life.”
“That’s what this is about?” she asks. “Hayes, I’m here. Right here. Don’t you get that?”
“Yeah,” I huff. “I do. I also get that you have everything you’ve ever wanted back at your house with Nolan. The fun roommate you can go out partying...
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“No,” she tells me. “I don’t! Because you...
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“Or maybe I’m just mentally preparing for the inevitable day that you leave again.”
“Then why don’t you just ask me to stay?”
