One in a Millennial: On Friendship, Feelings, Fangirls, and Fitting In

by Kate Kennedy

Britney follows up in “Circus” with how she’s a “put-on-a-show kind of girl,” and I am, too, but more like a put-on-a-TV-show kind of girl, who feels more defined by my role as a devoted audience member rather than a performer.

I think a lot of us now look back and cringe about many of the things we did to fit in, forgetting we grew up during a time when it seemed like avoiding being unique at all costs was the right thing to do.

I wanted to be an intellectual and read more books, but I felt happiest reading Seventeen and YM cover to cover, only to have to cover my ass when I struggled to finish a book for class.

When the term “millennial” graces a headline, instead of reading something celebratory, you’re more likely to see our generational plight represented in the context of something we’ve ruined or disrupted, or the ways we’ve fallen behind, bypassing the sum of our experiences on the inside for the ways we don’t appear to add up to other generations on the outside.

Somewhere in between the pursuit of passion and the desire for respect and stability, you’ll likely find a lost millennial, recently hit square in the head with thoughts about how they were raised to feel like one in a million, who never thought in a million years they’d find themselves here, in many ways, back at square one.

My sister and I spent our days pretending to be the Olympics women’s gymnastics team or figure skaters,

I think I speak on behalf of many American Girls ° o ° when I say that as a kid, I assumed the ultimate status symbol of wealth was a canopy bed.

to this day I find it remarkable that anyone can eat, sleep, or, like, breathe knowing someone else is mad at them.

Now that I think about it, creating an SN about a hobby I didn’t have so I could impress a boy I hadn’t met yet to maintain a relationship that did not exist is truly delusional girl-boss behavior, and I love that for me.

For all the ways people criticize social media for its drafting of keyboard warriors who take advantage of anonymity to spread cruelty, it also can eliminate a person’s self-consciousness in ways that are empowering, depending on how you use it.

Away messages also were a great opportunity to turn passive aggression into an art form.

I’m not against religion, I’m against how people with spiritual authority use religion to control, ostracize, and oppress, and how Christian doctrine can be conveniently interpreted to further a time period’s social or political agenda.

You can only get so far having a conversation in sign language when the only words you know are things like “death,” “grave,” and “blood.”

Ironically, purity culture is all about male control. The desire to control women, control their bodies, and control the narrative that men cannot control themselves.

And in the world of stereotypical chauvinist pigs, there was no influence greater than A. C. Slater, and no matter how hard I’ve tried to forget him, I can’t. Mostly because I had to see him in literally every hotel room I checked into while writing this book, and all I could do was shake my fist in a very intimidating “why I oughta” fashion, while I tried not to succumb to the impulse of renting one of the movies he shared via his iconic dimples on the Extra at the Movies Welcome Channel screen.

when an experience on-screen is being represented that a viewer self-identifies with, they are more likely to cite its inaccuracy. However, when an experience or community is being represented that’s outside of the viewer’s identity, they are more likely to perceive it as being accurate.

Our battle cry was “YOLO.” Our shoes were Payless BOGO.

A core memory for me is looking down at my feet to find a drenched bell-bottom that would make you think I was playing hopscotch in a swamp.

This is just one example of the downsides of loving pop culture; for all the ways I’ve loved to be entertained, it also is responsible for fueling rampant misogyny and perpetuating dangerous beauty and body standards, while encouraging shame and self-blame for our endlessly trying to meet them, regardless of never choosing them in the first place.

Legend has it that every time “Heart & Soul” plays, not unlike a bell ring, a person with the middle name Marie, Elizabeth, Lynn, or Nicole gets their wings.

But I also share this to contextualize something I’ve learned that I have to remind myself of often: mental health doesn’t discriminate, and even though I knew I had very few reasons to feel sad, it didn’t make me feel any less sad at certain points in my life.

pop culture is incredibly influential for me, and an undeniable touchstone for my sister and me is the show Friends.

Burnout exists whether you work for yourself or for someone else.

A Lisa Frank leopard seal doesn’t change their spots.

The truth is, there is not a human on this planet who is void of talent, who has no gifts.

For millennials, the Spice Girls are kind of like the Magnificent Seven from the 1996 U.S. women’s gymnastics team.

How is a large group of women screaming at a boy-band concert materially different from a large group of men losing their shit over a playoff game?

“I feel like it’s a *little* convenient that the age you can run for president is thirty-five, the same age women are told their pregnancies qualify as geriatric.”

Sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers than it is to a friend,