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Romans 1 makes it clear that all human beings are worshipers; either we worship and serve God, or we make an exchange and worship and serve substitutes for God—created things rather than the Creator (Romans 1:18-25).
Jesus came to earth, lived a perfect life and died as an infinite sacrifice so that children (and their parents) can be forgiven, transformed, liberated and empowered to love God and love others.
The parenting task is multifaceted. It involves being a kind authority, shepherding your children to understand themselves in God’s world, and keeping the gospel in clear view so your children can internalize the good news and someday live in mutuality with you as people under God.
agent. You may not direct your children for your own agenda or convenience. You must direct your children on God’s behalf for their good.
The purpose for your authority in the lives of your children is not to hold them under your power, but to empower them to be self-controlled people living freely under the authority of God.
children generally do not resist authority that is truly kind and selfless.
Values and spiritual vitality are not simply taught, but caught.
God’s Word would be the power of God to salvation for my children.
You need to direct not simply the behavior of your children, but the attitudes of their hearts. You need to show them not just the “what” of their sin and failure, but the “why.” Your children desperately need to understand not only the external “what” they did wrong, but also the internal “why” they did it. You must help them see that God works from the inside out. Therefore, your parenting goal cannot simply be well behaved children. Your children must also understand why they sin and how to recognize internal change.
A change in behavior that does not stem from a change in heart is not commendable; it is condemnable.
You must help your child ask the questions that will expose that attitude of the heart that has resulted in wrong behavior.
The person your child becomes is a product of two things. The first is his life experience. The second is how he interacts with that experience.
Are the values of your home based on
human tradition and the basic principles of this world or on Christ?
Your children are responsible for the way they respond to your parenting.
It is the fear of the Lord that makes one wise and it is that wisdom that determines how he responds to the correction.
The arrow pointing from God represents God, who is good and kind and holy. He has made all things for his glory. It is he under whose initiating and sustaining kindness all creatures dwell. To know him is to know life. The arrow pointing toward God indicates the Godward orientation of the heart. The person responds to
God’s goodness and kindness with love, delight, and worship. He wants to know and serve God better.
Made in the image of God, he is designed with a worship orientation. Even as a young child, he is either worshiping and serving God or idols.
We often are taught that man becomes a sinner when he sins. The Bible teaches that man sins because he is a sinner. Your children are never morally neutral, not even from the womb.
If he is living as a fool who says in his heart there is no God, he doesn’t cease to be a worshiper—he simply worships what is not God. Part of the parent’s task is to shepherd him as a creature who worships, pointing him to the One who alone is worthy of his worship. The question is
not “will he worship?” It is always “whom will he worship?”
You want to provide the best possible shaping influences for your children. You want the structure of your home to furnish the stability and security that they need. You want the quality of relationships in your home to reflect the grace of God and the mercy for failing sinners that God’s character demonstrates. You want the punishments meted out to be appropriate and to reflect a holy God’s view of sin. You want the values of
your home to be scripturally informed. You want to control the flow of events so that your home is not chaotic, but well-structured. You want to provide a healthy, constructive atmosphere for your child.
In the midst of difficult shaping influences, he entrusted himself to God. God made him a man who responded out of a living relationship with God. He loved God and found his orientation not in the
shaping influences of his life but in the unfailing love and covenant mercies of God.
In all of this you must pray that God will work in and around your efforts and the responses of your children to make them people who know and honor God.
Freedom is not found in autonomy, it is found in obedience. (Psalm 119:44-45).
Your right to discipline your children is tied to what God has called you to do, not to your own agenda.
The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever; therefore, your objective in every context must be to set a biblical worldview before your children.
(Psalm 73:25).
For example, if you teach your child to obey and to perform for approval from you and from others, you present an unbiblical objective. God says we should do all for his glory, because his eye is upon us and he is the rewarder of the just. People will respond well to a child who obeys, but you cannot make that secondary benefit of obedience the primary reason for obeying.
This counsel directs the child to God and not to his own resources.
let’s rethink our goals in light of the chief end of man—to glorify God and enjoy him forever.
Perhaps one of the problems with this perspective is that it looks for a major spiritual event of salvation and misses the spiritual process of nurturing your children. It is our task to faithfully teach our children the ways of God. It is the Holy Spirit’s task to work through the Word of God to change their hearts. Even when the Spirit illuminates and quickens them to life, it is a life of progressive growth.
Repentance and faith are not rites of initiation to Christianity. Repentance and faith are the way to relate to God. Repentance and faith are not acts performed one time to become a Christian. They are attitudes of the heart toward ourselves and our sin. Faith is not just the way to get saved; it is the lifeline of Christian living.
The practice of family worship is a means, not an end. It is a means to the end of knowing God. The name of the game is not daily family worship per se; it is knowing God. The end is knowing God. A means to employ in reaching that end is family worship.
Always remember that the goal of family worship is knowing God.
Faced with being kind to one who abuses you, there is nowhere to go but to God, who alone can enable a person to respond in love.
Teaching your children to live for the glory of God must be your overarching objective. You must teach your children that for them, as for all of mankind, life is found in knowing and serving the true and living God. The only worthy goal for life is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.
The God who knows our hearts calls us to right behavior for the purpose of honoring him. He honors those who honor him (1 Samuel 2:30).
The expediency of dealing with behavior rather than the heart means that deep needs within the child are ignored.
When the experts tell you that you must find what works with each child, they are saying you must find the idols of the heart that will move each child.
The gospel is not a message about doing new things. It is a message about being a new creature. It speaks to people as broken, fallen sinners who are in need of a new heart. God has given his Son to make us new creatures. God does open-heart surgery, not a face-lift. He produces change from the inside out. He rejects the man who fasts twice a week and accepts the sinner who cries for mercy.
God’s Word must inform not only our goals, but also our methods.
Listen, my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path.
We often think of communication as the ability to express ourselves. Accordingly, we think of ourselves as talking to our children. Instead, you should seek to talk with your children. Communication is not monologue. It is dialogue.
In him there is righteousness that we cannot produce, forgiveness that we cannot merit, and power that we cannot generate.
gate invites destruction.” 19:15 “ … the shiftless man goes
The rod is a parent, in faith toward God and faithfulness toward his or her children, undertaking the responsibility of careful, timely, measured, and controlled use of physical punishment to underscore the importance of obeying God, thus rescuing the child from continuing in his foolishness until death.
