Let's Do This

by Loren Leigh

“They don’t even know me.” I pull in his smell before I can stop myself, dragging it in through my nose and trapping it in my lungs like I can keep it. “I know you,” I say. He leans back, and there’s a touch of surprise in his green-brown eyes. “You do.”

“What are we doing?” “I don’t know.” His smile evaporates, his heels coming back down on the floor. “But whatever it is, I kinda don’t want it to stop.” I swallow. And then the truth is there. Right on my tongue. “Me neither,” I say.

“You show up for me,” he says quietly, almost to himself, my skin prickling under his touch. “Every single time.” Yes, I do. Without question. Without exception.

But what happens after you kiss your best friend? Do you just go back to casually fist bumping or spotting each other at the gym or whatever else?

“I want you to fuck my mouth.” He licks his lips, his chest pitching with a shaky breath. “Until I fuckin’ gag on you, and I don’t want you to stop until I’ve sucked every drop of your cum deep down my throat.” My hand stills. “Dude.” Holy hell . . . “Were you thinking that the whole time?” “Pretty much.”

“I just want to go somewhere where shit’s okay. Where I don’t have to pretend to be anything. And that’s kinda turning out to be your bed. But if that’s not where you’re headed, then I’ll go where you are.” His green eyes come up to meet mine. “Because I don’t think it’s actually about the bed.”

Shaw is too much to hope for. If I let myself—truly let myself—then there’s no going back. There’s no U-turn on this road. It’s right off the fuckin’ cliff. Can I do that? Just drive off knowing there’s nothing to catch me? I think I already have.

“I want to be around you. Wanna be in your bed. With you. Like a whole lot. Just you.” And like that, my whole heart buckles. I hope.

“Eden Burkehammer,” I mumble as he heads toward the kitchen. “You put that cute ass in front of me, and yeah, I’m gonna follow it. Lemming style. Wherever you’re going.”

“Yeah? How do you seduce a Burkie?” His voice is quiet. “You be Shaw.” I’m grinning so widely my face hurts. “Shit, that’s all it takes?” “For you, yeah.” “Jeez, you’re cute.”

There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. There haven’t been that many places in my life that feel like home. But Burkie’s room? I’m not sure I have another word to describe it.

Everyone should have a Burkie. Someone who makes things okay. Someone who makes a place feel like home just because they’re in it.

“I just want to be us.” He tightens his hand against my lower back. “All the time. Not just when we’re alone.”

I don’t think I understand how deeply I want him. I think I’ve only gotten a glimpse. It’ll take years for me to really understand. Do we have that?

“I love you.” It comes out quietly, tenderly. But strong. Like the truth that it really is. “I want everything with you. A life. A home. Marriage. I’d give up Montreal in a heartbeat for that. I’d give you a home you’d never have to lose.”

His name is on my lips, and I’ve only got two thoughts in my head. One is Shaw, of course. And the other is this: Sometimes, you just have to dream really fuckin’ big. And then hold on for the ride.