Let's Do This

by Loren Leigh

Shit. Am I checking him out? Wow. So that’s new. Wait . . . is it?

🤨😑

“Didn’t go through with it. I guess I was worried what would happen if I suddenly backed out. Like if I got in there and realized that sucking on a dick isn’t for me, what then? Just ask him to dry it off and tuck it back in and continue on with my night?”

“Okay.” I take a breath. “Well, I guess a conversation.” I dig my toes into the carpet. “I usually offer a few compliments. Maybe I’d whisper something a little flirty in your ear, and if you gave me the go-ahead look, I’d kiss you.”

Bro this is so awkward

His eyes darken into a deep, vivid brown. And holy hell, I’ve never seen that look on him before. I doubt he even realizes that it happened, but it’s so . . . potent. Like ball-squeezing intensity.

I want to be who I am. But it’s like I can’t make that leap.

He’s so fuckin’ beautiful that it makes my chest ache.

“What’s, uh.” My voice is rough, cracking with uncertainty. “What are we doing?” “I don’t know.” His smile evaporates, his heels coming back down on the floor. “But whatever it is, I kinda don’t want it to stop.” I swallow. And then the truth is there. Right on my tongue. “Me neither,” I say.

His lips pull up. “It means you’re cute.” “I’m cute?” I’m staring at him, slightly open-mouthed. “Hell, yeah.” He winks at me. “I would have rather stayed in your room.”

I stare down at the string of messages on my phone. There’s no way a little DM exchange means the same thing to Shaw as it does it to me, but damn, this feels—

I don’t know how Shaw brings this lightness out of me. I don’t know how he makes things feel so fuckin’ easy. Like I’m sliding and scrambling to get up that hill, and he’s suddenly there, pulling me over to a rock I can stand on. I don’t know if he even has to try. He just does it.

It’s something I don’t know if I’ll ever say out loud. And especially not at a Friday hockey practice between drills. But that doesn't stop it from being true. He makes life better.

“Sometimes I think your dickhole dad has you so twisted up that you can’t see what’s right in front of you.”

“You show up for me,” he says quietly, almost to himself, my skin prickling under his touch. “Every single time.”

“I get it,” I say, lowering my voice to a whisper. “No kissing.” He frowns slightly. I hook my duffle over my shoulder. “You’re weirdly quiet, and it’s fuckin’ odd, and I’m worried that—‍” “I’m quiet,” he says, brows pulling together under the backstrap of his ballcap, “because I wanted to.”

I wanted to kiss him.

But what happens after you kiss your best friend?

I’m going to knock. Go in. And suck his monster-sized cock. Assuming he wants me to, of course.

He’s the guy who always shows up. Steadfast and strong. He never vanishes. He’s never just gone. He’s here.

“I want you to fuck my mouth.” He licks his lips, his chest pitching with a shaky breath. “Until I fuckin’ gag on you, and I don’t want you to stop until I’ve sucked every drop of your cum deep down my throat.” My hand stills. “Dude.” Holy hell . . . “Were you thinking that the whole time?”

A heart appears on my reply. He didn’t heart anyone else’s comment, but he hearted mine. And for a guy who doesn’t smile much at all, I can’t seem to stop lately.

He feels so free. Like he could do anything. I’ve wanted to feel like that my entire fuckin’ life, and the only time I ever do is when I’m with him.

Fuck, I sound jealous. Probably because I am jealous. I’m a hulking, green ball of jealousy.

“I just want to go somewhere where shit’s okay. Where I don’t have to pretend to be anything. And that’s kinda turning out to be your bed. But if that’s not where you’re headed, then I’ll go where you are.” His green eyes come up to meet mine. “Because I don’t think it’s actually about the bed.”

“I want to be around you. Wanna be in your bed. With you. Like a whole lot. Just you.” And like that, my whole heart buckles. I hope.

“Eden Burkehammer,” I mumble as he heads toward the kitchen. “You put that cute ass in front of me, and yeah, I’m gonna follow it. Lemming style. Wherever you’re going.”

“Yeah? How do you seduce a Burkie?” His voice is quiet. “You be Shaw.” I’m grinning so widely my face hurts. “Shit, that’s all it takes?” “For you, yeah.”

“You always make things feel okay. Not sure how you fuckin’ do it. But you always make me feel like shit’s going to be okay.”

He’s my rock. Steady and strong. And I can be his.

Everyone should have a Burkie. Someone who makes things okay. Someone who makes a place feel like home just because they’re in it.

I itch my cheek right over where he kissed me. “Your lips are cold.” He pockets his phone. “Well, your dick can warm them up later. Let’s go grab your stuff.”

“I fuckin’ mean that, Shaw.” I say. “I pick you.” Over everything. Maybe over an NHL dream.

“I love you.” It comes out quietly, tenderly. But strong. Like the truth that it really is. “I want everything with you. A life. A home. Marriage. I’d give up Montreal in a heartbeat for that. I’d give you a home you’d never have to lose.”

I never expected him to love me back. I’ve wanted it. I’ve hoped for it. But I’ve never expected it. I got into this knowing full well who Shaw is. Relishing who he is. I won’t change him. That much will always be true.

“I pick you. I love you.”

Sometimes, you just have to dream really fuckin’ big. And then hold on for the ride.