Reckless (Chestnut Springs, #4)

by Elsie Silver

“I ride bulls for a living, so it’s not the first time I’ve been called crazy. I guess I’m just crazy enough to want my eight seconds on the frigid ice-queen sister too.”

“It wasn’t a mistake! It’s a way of thinking about Summer and me that everyone does! I’ll always be the cold, heartless bitch because Summer gets to be the sweet, agreeable one. And of course, you see me the same way as everyone else. Why wouldn’t you?”

“You know what, Winter?” My voice is low, but it vibrates with an unfamiliar fury. “I am fucking tired. I am tired of you not seeing what I see. Tired of you talking shit about yourself. I am tired of you not realizing what’s right here”—my palm lands heavy on my chest—“right in front of you. What more do I have to fucking do for you to trust me? For you to give me the benefit of the doubt just once!”

“I am not your dad. I am not your ex. I am here doing my best for you. And it seems like the more I give you, the less I get back. Why is that?”

“Because I want you!” she shouts, stopping me in my tracks. “And I want this!” Her hand gestures frantically between us. “I want us! And that terrifies me! Because what if it doesn’t work and Vivi is stuck with two parents who hate each other? I know how that goes and it fucking sucks. We like each other right now. I’m finally happy. It feels safe here. I can’t handle another person who hates me.”

“I promise I could never hate you,” I murmur against her mouth, hand skimming her jaw. Her eyes flash to mine. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I promise I’ll never hate you.” I drag my lips over her cheek, my teeth back down along her jaw. “You can’t know that,” she whispers, a sharp intake of breath hissing from between her lips as I spin her and face us toward the mirror. Forcing her to look at us. My hands trail over the silk, tracing every curve, thumbs detouring down into that little dip beneath her hips. “I can. I’ll be too busy loving you.”

“Tell me what you want, Tink.” Her lips pop open and I watch her thinking, deciding what to say next. “I don’t want any more of those pity orgasms you gave me in the gym.” “Pity orgasms?” “Yeah. Like you just did it because you were trying to make me feel better. Like you feel bad for me.”

“Cadillac Ranch”

“There’d be no point since I’m the only one who can make you come.”

“Actually, Kip, I do have a few things to tell you. First, refer to my daughter again as the baby, like she doesn’t have a name, and I’ll fucking lay you out. Second, I’ll be at your office on Monday morning. Bring Geoff. I don’t want to fire you at your daughter’s wedding. It would be in poor taste. Lastly, if you think you deserve to stake some sort of claim on this woman as your daughter, you have some serious soul-searching to do. The girl on the dance floor?” He points over Kip’s shoulder at Summer, who is watching us now. “That’s your daughter. This woman here? She’s Dr. Hamilton until you tuck that scaly fucking tail between your legs and come make amends with her.”

For the first time in my life, my father appears to be at a loss for words. For the first time in my life, someone has come to my defense.

“Now get out of my way, Kip. I want to go home and be with my girls.” Home. My girls. My heart plunges into my stomach. It floats and flips, rolling around in every warm, mushy feeling I’ve never felt.

OMG!! Yes🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

“Dr. Hamilton in the streets, filthy slut in the sheets.”

think I more than like you.” “Because I’m your baby daddy?” “No.” I meet his eyes at the final red light before we pull up to the house. “Because you make me like myself … and you’re the only one who ever has.” I glance away, because staring at him feels like too much. Too heavy.

“You’re looking at me the same way you did that night at the gas station.” “No, right now is worse. That night I was guessing how you’d look under your clothes. Tonight, I know.”

“Hey, Theo?” I whisper, reaching across to dust my fingers over his forehead and into his hair. “Yeah?” “You’re not an interloper. You’re her dad.”

“She never told anyone because everyone always treats her like shit!”

“No married women live here. But if you’re here to harass your ex- wife by hand-delivering bills, she’ll never pay. I’ll take that envelope right there on the passenger seat and save you a trip to the mailbox. Cause I promise you …” I lean in and lower my voice. “If you keep showing up here like a fucking stalker, all you’re gonna do is make it real easy to get a restraining order.”

“She’s no one’s leftovers, and I’ve been enjoying her since before you ever saw the divorce papers, buddy.”

“Did you throw a piece of garbage into his car?” Winter shouts on a laugh from the front porch. “Just putting it in the trash, Tink!”

“Winter, we are a thing. We are the thing. We are it.” And then he kisses me. In the middle of the gym. When he should be paying attention to the girl with the even boobs. He finds me. He kisses me. He belongs to me.

“That’s everyone, Tink. You’ve ruined me. Don’t you get it? I only see you. You’ve got all my attention. Every last bit of it.” “Me?” “Yeah. You and your snarky one-liners. And the way you’re grumbly in the morning until I bring you a coffee. And that goofy voice you use when you talk to Vivi. How sweet you are under all that professional indifference. I even like it when you stalk me. Makes me feel special.” He winks.

“What you just said to her.” “Te vivo?” Winter nods. “It’s Portuguese. My dad used to say it to my sister and me. Sadly, it’s some of the only Portuguese I know. It means ‘I live you’ or something along those lines.”

When I finally pack up to head to the airport that afternoon, I fold her in my arms, kiss her hard, and whisper against her ear, “Te vivo, Winter Hamilton.”

Who would love Vivi the way he does? Who would love me the way he does? The answer is no one. Not a single other person would ever love me the way Theo does. No one will ever show up for me the way he has—protect me the way he has. I know it because it’s taken me thirty-one years to find someone who will.

“Rob is contesting her paternity.”

She’s quiet for a beat. And then another. Then a thought I hate with every fiber of my being pops up in my mind. One that I maybe should have had a long time ago. One that got pushed to the wayside while I rolled my sleeves up and got to work righting the wrongs I’d put into motion.

“She’s my daughter, Winter. Right?”

person. I want to crawl into the phone and pluck out those five words one by one. Undo ever saying them. I just thought the worst of a woman who has spent her life feeling like everyone always thinks the worst of her. And I spat those words right in her face.

Memories trickle in as my awareness returns. The rodeo. The paternity test. Theo and his bitchy attitude. He’s going to get an earful for that stupid little dig.

“What are you thinking?” “That you’ve probably removed a lot of bras.” “I’ve immediately forgotten about any of them. All I can think about is how perfect you look like this.”

“Now get your fingers out of my way. I’m hungry.” “It’s okay, you don’t need to,” I say, grabbing at his hair, trying to pull him back up.

“Fuck, yes,” she hisses, dropping to her elbows while I take a hold of her hips. “Move, please move.” “Move? Or fuck you? I wanna hear you say it.” Her pants come even like a drumbeat. “Fuck me, Theo. Fuck me so hard I forget my name.”

“I had a moment, okay? A weak, petty, insecure one. I needed a pity party. You said you didn’t need me. Everyone else was blowing me up. It didn’t feel like I could fix anything, and all I did was make things worse. And I knew you were angry at me, so I figured I’d shut it down for the night.”

“You have to freak out with me because I need you. And I love you. I love you so much it paralyzes me to think of carrying on without you. You’re not allowed to shut me out. Because you made me need you, and now you have to deal with the consequences.”

I dust my lips back and forth over her hair. “But you love me?” She doesn’t hesitate. “So much it hurts.” I squeeze her tighter, soaking up how well she fits against me. Warm and soft. “Welcome to the club, Tink.”

“I love you too. Now would you come in here so we can all be together while you’re being really, really fucking mad at me and I freak out because I love you and want to kill your ex?”

It is both the fastest and slowest eight seconds of my life. The buzzer sounds and I get the hell out of there. A cowboy rides up beside me and I reach for him, taking the lift down and away from the bull. My days of tempting fate by doing a showy dismount are done.

“Well, my time off went different than expected,” I start. “The rehab was fairly straightforward. I don’t think I’ll have any lasting effects to worry about, which is great. But the real highlight was getting to spend some quality time with my family.” I tip my chin toward the fence. “Got my baby girl and my future wife here with me tonight. They make this win extra special.”

She doesn’t roll her eyes at my showboating. She winks at me. “Anything you want to say to this future wife of yours tonight, Silva?” I don’t need to think twice. I hold the mic up to my lips and murmur, “Te vivo.” It’s better than “I love you”. It’s more accurate. It’s us.

“I will go wherever you want. I will wear whatever you want. I will never turn my phone off again. I will always, always be there for you. For Vivi. You don’t need to beg, and you don’t need to say please. For as long as I live, for as long as you need me, you’ll have me. Okay? Never doubt that.”

Me? I already know what story these papers will tell. They’re going to tell me there is no possible way Rob got me pregnant through the walls of our separate rooms. It’s going to tell me that the hottest night of my life spent in a hotel with a man I barely knew lines up perfectly with the day Vivi was born.

Sometimes I wonder if we’d have ended up where we are today if things hadn’t played out the way they did. If he’d known about her right away, would I have taken my fresh start? Would I have cut people out of my life who needed cutting? Would I have found the sense of freedom I did in those months I spent living on my own? Or would I have dragged Theo into the maelstrom of my family drama? Would I have felt I went from being under one man’s thumb to another? Would Summer and I be where we are now?

His dark eyes are lightly hooded as he stares down at the counter, and I decide to put him out of his misery. If he’s nervous, I’m excited. This envelope means I can finally deliver that last killing blow to Dr. Robert Valentine. The other means that Vivi can be his in a way she should have been from the very beginning.

He wasn’t there for Vivi’s birth, but he can be here for every moment after because he’s her dad. Then his gaze shifts over, to the papers he wasn’t expecting. The ones that detail legal name change from Vivienne Hamilton to Vivienne Loretta Silva. My way of showing Theo that he’ll never be an interloper—he’s stuck with us for life.

“Summer and I put a lot of work into our affidavits, so I hope you enjoy them. I know the hospital administration and the medical board will.” A normal person would go white. They’d be terrified. But Rob goes from red to a deep purple. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him so angry. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, but I would.” My tone is cool and controlled. It bites. “Because you didn’t just come for me this time, you slimy fucking weasel. You came for my daughter. You came for the man I love. You came for my family. You went too damn far this time.” “I’m going to—” I don’t let him get a word in at all. “I haven’t fucked you since the day I found out you were a predator. And now everyone is going to know it.”

I watch Theo and my dad open the back hatch of the SUV and pull out … I gasp. Because what my dad and Theo are carrying down to the party is something I never thought I’d see again. Something I swore was long gone, sold, or rotting in a landfill. But within moments, they set it right in front of me, rendering me speechless. It doesn’t just look like the dollhouse from when I was a little girl. It is the dollhouse from when I was a little girl.

Right where it all started. Theo places me on my feet as I peer around the property. It was cold, dark, and snowy that night. And I was stressed out. But tonight it’s warm and golden. The sky is a pale pink. My feet are killing me, but I’m content. And when I look back at where Theo was standing—he’s now down on one knee. Holding a little blue velvet box with a stunning teardrop solitaire ring glinting off the rosy sky. And I freeze.