Reckless (Chestnut Springs, #4)

by Elsie Silver

And it’s a shot to my core. He has no business looking this good and being this good. Jumping from defending me to consoling her.

Theo glances my way, wide palm rubbing his daughter’s back as she nuzzles into the crook of his neck. Like she just knows he’s hers somehow. Hers in a way that he’ll never be mine.

“It’s perfect. It’s kind of like we’re business partners. You know?” Summer nods slowly, her eyes clouded with confusion. “Like we have the same goal, but can still keep things separate. Professional almost.”

“Rhett, I’m going to stop you right there. You have been my friend for a long time. My mentor for even longer. My dad loved you, and I do too. But so help me, if you keep talking about this current situation like it’s a burden, it will become difficult to stay friends with you.”

“I’ve always liked Winter. I liked her when you told me stories about her before I met her. I liked her the first time I laid eyes on her at the shitty gas station on the corner of Rosewood and Main. I liked her when she yelled I must have a small dick.”

“I think I figured out at a young age that if I mirrored the way Marina treated Summer—and my dad—she sort of … left them alone? Like if she felt like I was on her team, she would care less about what they did because she could turn all her attention to me. On priming me to be the perfect mini-me surgeon version of her. I leveled the playing field for her. In taking me away from them, she felt like she won and, in turn, didn’t terrorize my little sister.”

I place Vivi in her crib and put the warm bottle into her grabby hands before turning to face the woman who has occupied all the space in my brain since the first moment I laid eyes on her—since before that probably.

Every time Rhett brought up what happened between her and Summer, I couldn’t help but think that we weren’t getting the entire story. That people aren’t cruel for no good reason. That two siblings shouldn’t be so at odds. That parents shouldn’t fuck their kids around as badly as what he described. My childhood wasn’t perfect, but I never doubted how much my parents loved me.

I drop my mouth to her ear, not missing the way she shivers. “You’re going to accept my help. And you’re going to like it. You might even thank me for it.” I nip her earlobe and lower my voice to add, “Like you did the last time I gave you a hand.”

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“We’re like business partners.” Business partners. That term still makes me want to break something. We are not that.

“Because the things I dream about doing to you are horribly unprofessional.”

I want her to be as sure as I am.

Much like eighteen months ago, I think we realize there’s a fervor between us that neither of us can explain or resist. A pull. A connection. A longing.

“But it was never quite like I wanted it to be. Marina kept me away from you before I could even understand why, and then Kip was always busy tending to you on his own, so he didn’t truly have time for me. It felt like he chose you over me sometimes, but I think I know better now.”

“When Da—Kip—got home, he found us like that, and it turned into this big fight between him and Marina.” I sniffle, turning to give Peter more muffin. “I don’t remember all the details. Only that Marina took my dollhouse away as a punishment and it never came back because I”—I hold my fingers up in air quotes—“made her look bad.”

“Mama.” That one word instantly changes the subject. I freeze and stare down at my daughter, and then I glance up at Theo. “Did she just say …”

“Of course it is. What else would it be? And she’s been saying it all morning.” He turns his gaze back to Vivi. “Haven’t you, baby girl? Been talking about your mama nonstop. And who could blame you? Look at her.”

On the stove, a delicious aroma wafts from a large pot. Theo calls it “Brazilian Stroganoff” and says it’s something his dad used to make for his mom.

This conversation is ridiculous, and she knows it. “You’re the fucking worst.” “You’re the one who’s mad at me for something I did in a dream.” “I’m not mad at you.” Her arms cross. “I’m mad at the future.” “Don’t be. I promise you that’s not what the future holds.”

“Okay, I’m mad at you for torpedoing my training session with someone who doesn’t constantly hit on me. Why did you do that?” I shake my head as I breeze past her, through the turnstile and onto the gym floor. Might as well be honest with her, so she isn’t confused about what I want. “Because I’m the only one who’s going to be putting his hands on you in those tight fucking pants, Tink.”

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It was why I went into the computer system and changed her session to be with me. Not a fucking chance would I sit at home while some Roid Monkey ran his hands all over her under the guise of helping her work out.

“Is that why you keep putting my clothes back on me?” I still. “What?” “The other night you took one look at me and pulled my nightgown back down. Today you covered me up again. It feels like you don’t like what you see.”

“Winter, you have no fucking idea what I see. No fucking clue how hard I’m trying not to be another person who needs something from you. I’m prioritizing what life has thrown at us in the past few weeks. I’m trying to give you what you need. But if you think I don’t like what I see, then I’m not the one who needs his head checked.” I swipe her ponytail to the side of her neck and drop a kiss on the top of her slender shoulder. “Because your wellbeing has quickly become my number one priority.”

“Why?” Her ragged breathing echoes in the otherwise quiet gym. “Because I fucking adore you. Haven’t you been paying attention?”

“You’re still not listening.” I stand and step around the bench, coming to kneel at the foot with a knowing grin. Winter looks flustered as she glances around. “I like everything I see. I want you.”

“What do you mean, abstaining from touching anyone at all?” Cat’s out of the bag, I guess. Might as well come clean. “I mean, I cleaned up my act.” “Why?” I huff out a breath and hold her gaze, wanting her to really hear this. “Because I wanted to be the type of guy who could land you for more than one night.”

“You mean someone like me?” “No, Winter. I mean you. That’s why I gave up my old phone. That’s why I have your number on my new one. I intended to call you. You needed time to rebuild, and I needed time to grow into someone who deserves you. I was biding my time, being patient.”

“I’m done being patient, Tink. I’m coming for what I want. Right now.”

“Someone could walk in,” I say again. I hate myself. Why can’t I just shut up and enjoy good things?

My eyes are still closed when he leans in and says, “Next time, you ride my face. You’re going to ask for it. Beg for it. Work for it even. You will tell me exactly what you want, and I will give it to you. But this isn’t happening again until that time. Until you know what you want. Because I want you, Winter. And not just for one night.”

Winter jolts, yanking her hand from mine like we’re two teenagers caught doing something we shouldn’t, rather than two adults who share a child.

Mom wraps herself around a stunned-looking Winter, whose arms hang limp at her sides. I can’t keep my lips from twitching. Business partners. That fucking phrase will haunt her.

I get an eye roll, but she has a small smirk on her face when she lifts her arms and hugs my mom back. The sight hits me in the chest. It makes me wonder how many hugs Winter has gotten over the years—as a child. Even on the days my mom thought I was an idiot, she hugged me.

I know she wants me. I’m just waiting for her to stop freaking out and realize it.

Then I kiss her cheek, doing that little tongue thing she likes so much. She turns and nuzzles into me. So, I hug her. Her arms fold in front of her chest as I press her into me, the coaster with our contract crushed between us. And I just hold her. A woman who needs to be held so damn badly. And I’m the lucky one who gets to do it.

Her eyes stay on her toes as she approaches her house. But she doesn’t go inside. She takes a seat on the front step and lifts the coaster, staring at it. Her fingers trace over it, much like they trailed over my face moments ago.

Through the front window, I see them hug. Three hugs in one night. Not bad.

“You do know you’re in love with that girl, don’t you?” I flop down beside her and sling an arm over her shoulder, ready to get lost in the very best medical drama while sitting beside one of my favorite women in the world. “Yeah, Mom. I know.”

And I realize it then. Theo Dale Silva has wormed his way into my heart, and I never stood a chance at keeping him out.

“The short version is that twenty-six or so years ago, my dad knocked up our nanny. She left the baby with him and that started the new Cold War in our house. So, he spent all his time protecting my sister from my bitter mom. Don’t ask me why they didn’t split because I don’t fucking—sorry, freaking—know. Instead, they stayed together and made everyone around them miserable. So, I grew up estranged from my dad and sister because I got assigned to my mom when they picked their teams.”

“The only person who cared about me and how I was doing was my baby sister. The one I spent literal decades of my life treating like shit. She never stopped messaging me, never stopped trying, and I felt so, so unworthy. And somehow that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I wanted to burn it all down. My life, my job, my house, my marriage. The only two things I wanted to leave standing were Summer and me. So, that’s what I did. Except I had a one-night stand with your son, and apparently condoms truly are only 98 percent effective. So, here I am. Or I guess I should say … here we are.”

I glance down at her outstretched hand as her fingers unfurl from a fist. A thin string of dainty misshapen pearls with a golden clasp rests on her palm. “This was from my mom. She passed it down to me. They’re river pearls. That’s why they’re all a little asymmetrical and the colors are a bit different. I saw you in this dress and thought it would be the perfect touch.”

“What about your daughter? Surely, you’d rather keep it in the family.”

“Winter, doll. You are the family. Whatever happens between you and Theo? This little girl right here”—she trails a finger over the bridge of Vivi’s nose—“is a gift. She’s part of us all. As far as I’m concerned, you and Vivi are a two-for-one deal. I see your connection, how much of yourself you’ve given to her, and I just … it reminds me of myself in those early days.”

“As the person who has known him the longest in this life, I’m going to tell you what I know about Theo.” “Okay.” “Theo loves easily. That’s just his nature. But he doesn’t often love hard. He keeps that part of himself, the one that’s seen loss too, locked up tight where it can’t get hurt. But you, girl? He loves you hard.”

just remembered that he called me the morning after you two first got together. And do you know what he said to me?

“He said, ‘Mom, I met her.’ And I said, ‘Who?’ ” Loretta’s lips curve up, her eyes taking on a faraway look. “He said, ‘The woman I’m going to marry one day.’ ” I’m frozen in place. How could he possibly know that? Think that? Why would a one-night stand with me be more impactful that a one-night stand with one of the bajillions of random women I’m sure he’s slept with over the years? “I asked him if she knew about this and he laughed and said, ‘Not yet.’ ”

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“Why did you keep that coaster? My phone number?” “Because I knew I was coming back. You were a mess—respectfully—and I was out of control. We both needed time.”

“I don’t know how to react to you when you talk like that, Theo,” Winter says in a soft voice. “Like … what was it then? Love at first sight? I just … that makes me uncomfortable. That’s a movie thing, not a real-life thing.”

“When I saw you … I don’t know. I don’t want to call it love at first sight. Maybe need at first sight? Want at first sight? A connection. It was knowing I’d never get sick of your eyes wandering over my body with that slack-jawed feral look on your face.”