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I learned from a young age that life is short, and you have to fucking enjoy every second of it. So my rule is to say yes. Say yes to as much shit as you can.
That’s when she walked into the bar.
This is the story of how I wear the title “Ultimate Fuckup,” because not only did I accidentally get the girl in the hot pink dress pregnant . . . But I broke bro code. Because the girl in the hot pink dress is the sister of my teammate . . . and best friend.
“Gimlet, huh? Never would have pegged you as a gin drinker,” a husky, deep voice says, coming up to my side.
“Oh, you know, just celebrating the day I was born.”
He’s a thirst trap I have no problem posting.
“Uh, if I’m paying for your drink, the least you can do is talk to me a little longer. Don’t you think?”
I like to keep my interactions with him to a minimum, especially since he’s a giant flirt. I don’t need my little romantic brain thinking that this overtly attractive alpha male is the least bit interested in seeing me naked. Nope, it’s better to let ourselves down easy and not even jump into that realm of thinking.
“Please end up in his bed tonight and tell me all about it after.”
With every goddamn laugh from her beautiful lips when she’s talking to someone else.
Never hurts a man’s ego to hear the woman he’s been lusting after for two years thinks he’s attractive. Nope, I’m going to keep that little nugget of info very close to my dick.
“Uhh . . . because you’re a fucking goddess and being recognized by you feels really fucking amazing,” I say before I can stop myself.
“For your information, from the moment I first met you, I’ve wanted to fuck you. Don’t believe it if you want”—my lips graze her ear—“but it’s fucking true. Those lips of yours, I’ve wanted to own them. Your tits, I’ve wanted to worship. And your
Wondered what it would be like to have you riding my cock, your tits bouncing near my face, your pussy pulsing against my length. So don’t for one goddamn moment think what I said was a joke. I’d never joke about fucking you . . . ever.”
“Waxing, huh?” He gives me a slow once-over. “You bare down there, Penny?”
the entire time, he held my hand, never letting go. It was a whirlwind of appreciation that I wasn’t ready to be exposed to.
Honestly, I’m glad I ran into her. She’s made my birthday enjoyable when usually it’s just a mindless day of me trying to forget I don’t have much family, nor do I have anyone who calls me on my birthday other than my teammates.
Releasing her hand, I wrap my arm around her shoulder, bringing her in close to keep her warm.
“She is special. Her name is Penny. I’ve known her for a bit now, and she decided to spend my birthday with me.”
“Like the pie isn’t the only thing you want for dessert.”
I’m going to fucking spread your legs and eat your pussy in a matter of seconds.
“I didn’t do it out of spite,” I say. “I’ve fucking liked her for a while.”
“Oh, this is good,” Blakely mutters to herself.
“Why the fuck do people keep saying that?” he asks, his voice now tainted in anger. “I’m not some deadbeat fuckup who doesn’t own up to his mistakes.” He motions to me. “What happened between Penny and me is between Penny and me, and I’d really fucking appreciate it if you would both leave so I can talk to her. Alone.”
“This isn’t just about helping you, which of course is one of the main reasons for doing this, but I also want to experience everything with you. I’m not carrying the baby, but at least I can be present, as present as my schedule will allow. I can be there when the baby kicks, they can learn my voice, and I can be there while they grow.”
He shakes his head. “That’s where you’re wrong, Penny. Hockey doesn’t come first. You and this baby do.”
“Friends?” Taters shakes his head. “Nah, I don’t see that happening. You’ve been crushing on her forever, man. There’s no way you’ll stay friends.”
“I don’t want anything serious, and neither does she, so friends is the only option.
He didn't deny it!!!
“We did suck tonight, but it was not your fault. It takes a team to lose a game, not a baby mama.”
“Should I call you the woman carrying my child?”
Why is this kind of hot....
I don’t think we’re being fair about Peggy Leggy. Hornsby: ENOUGH WITH PEGGY LEGGY!
Posey: Oooo, good question. Tone is very important. And yes, I can pretend.
“Penny, you’ve sat on my dick, and I’ve watched you bounce up and down on my lap. Pretty sure walking in on me with my shirt undone is nothing compared to that.”
Eli: Good morning. Just checking on you < - - see, I can be pretty good at this talking thing.
“Yes.” I sigh. “But I can’t tell if she was saying it just to piss me off or if she meant it, and now I’m feeling self-conscious.”
That’s when I go to my side of the bed and reach under it, pulling out my Breathe Right strips.
“Uh, yeah, because I don’t want to keep you up at night. It’s bad enough you wake up with nausea.”
Eli: You fucker! I bought Breathe Right strips.
“And clearly, just like your brother, you don’t think I can be that person.”
I’m just glad we’re looking at each other. I missed staring longingly into your eyes.”
Penny: Not a problem. Here is the website: ICan’tBelieveYouFellForThat.com
“We are.” And then he reaches out and pushes a loose strand of my hair around my ear. My eyes part just in time to connect with his. His finger drags across my cheek tenderly, and he says, “Good night, Penny.”
Eli is standing at the entryway, leaning against the wall, eyeing me. “What?” I ask as I fluff my hair out of the collar. “You look cute.”
I’ll guarantee your nipples will harden at the sound of a wrapper opening, thinking it’s a condom. You
I’d seen Marge hug her girls, and I desperately craved a hug. Mom had been the best hugger. But Marge had turned to me, looking . . . horrified. I can still hear her quiet yet firm words. “I’m not your mom, Eli. I can’t . . . well,
I shouldn’t give you hugs. You’re a boy and don’t need them.” She
“Yeah. Smart, sweet, kind heart, a touch sassy, and, of course, beautiful.”
if it’s a boy, we could call him Puck. That would be cool, right?”
“How do I look?” Really. Fucking. Good. Lickable. Suckable. Fuckable.
“You’re pregnant. You’re not lifting anything.” “Uh, I lifted a donut to my mouth yesterday. Where were you then, huh?”
