Rules of Civility

by Amor Towles

—There’s a pretty clear difference between physical and emotional needs, she continued. Women like you and I understand this. Most women don’t. Or they’re unwilling to admit it. When it comes to love, most women insist that the emotional and physical aspects of a relationship be inextricably intertwined. To suggest to them otherwise is like trying to convince them that their children might not love them one day. Their very survival depends upon believing otherwise, no matter what history suggests to the contrary. Of course, there are plenty of women who turn a blind eye to their husbands’ indiscretions, but most of them are miserable about it. They perceive it as a tear in the fabric of their lives. But if one of those women were to look coolly into herself, when her husband comes into a restaurant a half an hour late smelling of Chanel No. 5, she’s probably more angry about being kept waiting than about the perfume on his collar. But as I say—I think we see eye to eye on all this. And that’s why I asked you here instead of Tinker. I think that you and I may come to an understanding that serves Tinker well. An understanding in which we all get what we want.