Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In

by Roger Fisher

Any method of negotiation may be fairly judged by three criteria: It should produce a wise agreement if agreement is possible. It should be efficient. And it should improve or at least not damage the relationship between the parties.

People: Separate the people from the problem. Interests: Focus on interests, not positions. Options: Invent multiple options looking for mutual gains before deciding what to do. Criteria: Insist that the result be based on some objective standard.

time you begin to think about negotiating

That period can be divided into three stages: analysis, planning, and discussion.

think in terms of three basic categories: perception, emotion, and communication.

Look for opportunities to act inconsistently with their perceptions.

If they are not involved in the process, they are unlikely to approve the product.

If you want the other side to accept a disagreeable conclusion, it is crucial that you involve them in the process of reaching that conclusion.

Agreement becomes much easier if both parties feel ownership of the ideas.

First recognize and understand emotions, theirs and yours.

Ask yourself what is producing the emotions.

the best time for handling people problems is before they become people problems.

Interests define the problem.

security economic well-being a sense of belonging recognition control over one’s life

If you want someone to listen and understand your reasoning, give your interests and reasoning first and your conclusions or proposals later.

An open mind is not an empty one.

To invent creative options, then, you will need to (1) separate the act of inventing options from the act of judging them; (2) broaden the options on the table rather than look for a single answer; (3) search for mutual gains; and (4) invent ways of making their decisions easy.

Therefore, generate many options before selecting among them. Invent first; decide later. Look for shared interests and differing interests to dovetail. And seek to make their decision easy.

Generating possible BATNAs requires three distinct operations: (1) inventing a list of actions you might conceivably take if no agreement is reached; (2) improving some of the more promising ideas and converting them into practical alternatives; and (3) selecting, tentatively, the one alternative that seems best.

A good negotiator rarely makes an important decision on the spot.

“nothing is agreed until everything is agreed,”

If you find the physical surroundings prejudicial, do not hesitate to say so.

Are they worried about giving you status by talking to you?

Review your performance. Schedule time to think about how you did after each significant negotiation.

Consider keeping a negotiation journal or diary, which you can reread periodically.

Write out a list of your interests and the other side’s. Then invent a list of options that might satisfy as many of these interests as possible.

“Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.”

One of the greatest powers you have is to reframe, using statements and questions to change the focus of negotiation to interests, options, and standards—and thus to change the game from positional bargaining to principled negotiation.