You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life

by Eleanor Roosevelt

There is no human being from whom we cannot learn something

One thing life has taught me: if you are interested, you never have to look for new interests. They come to you.

And nothing you learn, however wide of the mark it may appear at the time, however trivial, is ever wasted. In all my life, nothing I have ever learned has failed to be useful to me at some time or other,

I learned to protect myself from disappointment by not asking for what I wanted.

:(

Timidity and shyness are fears of this sort. Unimportant, perhaps, but they are crippling to self-confidence and to achievement.

I think everyone, at some time in his life, has this happen to him, comes face to face with the bitter realization that he has failed in something that means a tremendous amount and probably in a relation that is close to him.

So it is a major part of maturity to accept not only your own shortcomings but those of the people you love, and help them not to fail when you can.

The advantage of being busy is that you don’t have time to think about yourself.

HAPPINESS is not a goal, it is a by-product. Paradoxically, the one sure way not to be happy is deliberately to map out a way of life in which one would please oneself completely and exclusively.

Usefulness, whatever form it may take, is the price we should pay for the air we breathe and the food we eat and the privilege of being alive. And it is its own reward, as well, for it is the beginning of happiness, just as self-pity and withdrawal from the battle are the beginning of misery.

No real harm was done and I learned again the lesson that you fear in apprehension far more than you actually suffer in reality.

These are the pressures to live like our neighbors, to think like our community, to reshape ourselves in the image of someone else. The net result of this surrender is the destruction of the individual and the loss of his integrity.

Your ambition should be to get as much life out of living as you possibly can, as much enjoyment, as much interest, as much experience, as much understanding. Not simply to be what is generally called “a success.”

But do not ask or expect to have anyone with you on everything. Do not try for it.

Yet it must be obvious that one of the most effective techniques in dealing with people is to appeal to them for their help.

Instead of resisting the criticism with anger, he will, if he is wise, accept it with humility. He will consider the other person’s idea and, if he can, he will go along with it, making tentative suggestions for improvements until it is gradually modified and comes much closer to his main objective.

I am convinced that it is as important for any young person to learn to respect the individuality of others as it is for him to respect his own.

But today where are these familiar things? Where are these known conditions? Where is the old safety? Instead, we find ourselves in an unfamiliar world, attempting to deal with unknown factors, having to blaze new trails for ourselves.

Failure comes to everyone, except when one does nothing at all, which in itself is a failure. All we can do is to be honest with ourselves, be humble and try, as we gain wisdom, to rectify our mistakes and possibly to avoid some of them.

It takes honesty and courage to accept the full responsibility when your first choice has been wrong; it takes honesty and courage to acknowledge that the fault was yours and you have no excuses to make.

If you care enough about certain things and work for them, I think you are bound to find them in the people you are with. To go on the theory that everything is useless before you start, that the world cannot be saved, that “you can’t change human nature,” in spite of the fact that we saw Hitler do it and are seeing the Soviets do it before our eyes, is a pointless business. What matters now, as always, is not what we can’t do: it is what we can and must do.

Surprising to see Hitler as an example, but I think it proves her point. The things that we imagine are impossible (both good and evil) are very possible.

Surely, in the light of history, it is more intelligent to hope rather than to fear, to try rather than not to try. For one thing we know beyond all doubt: Nothing has ever been achieved by the person who says, “It can’t be done.”

The President of the United States is in a better position than anyone else to be the great educator of the people because he meets more people and has access to more information than anyone else. He should, by virtue of his office and his position of trust, keep the people informed about what their government is doing and make the situation clear to them. Sometimes, of course, the citizen discovers that he cannot rely on getting information from this source, even in matters that vitally concern his future and his welfare.

If Mrs. Roosevelt were alive today...

It isn’t enough to say, “We need better schools.” You must know what kind of schools you already have, what their shortcomings are, what has brought about this situation. You must know whether it is better buildings or better teachers you are seeking.

It is easy to make children insular, intolerant, and apathetic about the course of events. It is almost as easy to make them informed, interested, and responsible citizens.