Before I Fall: The official film tie-in that will take your breath away

by Lauren Oliver

‘Remember the time in second grade right after my grandfather died?’ he says finally, speaking in a low, quiet voice. ‘I burst into tears in the lunchroom and Phil Howell called me a faggot. That only made me cry harder, even though I didn’t know what a faggot was.’ He laughs softly. I keep my eyes squeezed shut, coasting on his voice. Last year Phil Howell was found half naked with Sean Trebor in the back of his dad’s BMW. It’s funny how things turn out. ‘Anyway, when I told him to leave me alone he smacked my tray, and food went flying everywhere. I’ll never forget: we were having mashed potatoes and turkey burgers. And you went up and scooped the potatoes off the floor with your hands and shoved them straight into Phil’s face. And then you picked up the turkey burger and crumbled it down Phil’s T-shirt. You said, You’re worse than the hot lunch.’ He laughs again. ‘That was a big insult in second grade. And Sean was so surprised, and he looked so ridiculous standing there with mashed potato and chives smeared all over him, that I just started laughing and laughing, and it was the first time I’d laughed since I’d heard the news about – about my grandfather.’ He pauses. ‘Do you remember what I said to you that day?’ The memory is there, a balloon swelling from somewhere so far inside me I thought it was lost, the whole scene clear and perfect now. ‘You’re my hero,’