The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

by Brené Brown

an intentional choosing of the way we think about our circumstances.

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.”

What does your gut say?

We need both faith and reason to make meaning in an uncertain world.

Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.

believing without seeing.

Comparison is all about conformity and competition.

There’s no such thing as creative people and non-creative people. There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t.

The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity.

If we want to make meaning, we need to make art.

As long as we’re creating, we’re cultivating meaning.

creativity as “the power to connect the seemingly unconnected.” My

Creativity, which is the expression of our originality, helps us stay mindful that what we bring to the world is completely original and cannot be compared.

I think it’s so important to find and be a part of a community of like-spirited people who share your beliefs about creativity.

Try something that scares you or something you’ve dreamt about trying. You never know where you’ll find your creative inspiration.

It’s play! A critically important component of Wholehearted living is play!

play is apparently purposeless. Basically this means that we play for the sake of play. We do it because it’s fun and we want to.

If we want to live a Wholehearted life, we have to become intentional about cultivating sleep and play, and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth.

I encourage you to sit down and make a list of the specific conditions that are in place when everything feels good in your life. Then check that list against your to-do list and your to-accomplish list. It might surprise you.

they were anxiety-aware. They were committed to a way of living where anxiety was a reality but not a lifestyle.

I define calm as creating perspective and mindfulness while managing emotional reactivity.

Stillness is not about focusing on nothingness; it’s about creating a clearing. It’s opening up an emotionally clutter-free space and allowing ourselves to feel and think and dream and question.

we gain clarity about what we’re doing, where we’re going, and what holds true meaning for us.

We all have gifts and talents. When we cultivate those gifts and share them with the world, we create a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives.

Squandering our gifts brings distress to our lives.

When we don’t use our talents to cultivate meaningful work, we struggle.

Using our gifts and talents to create meaningful work takes a tremendous amount of commitment, because in many cases the meaningful work is not what pays the bills.

Like our gifts and talents, meaning is unique to each one of us.

Self-doubt undermines the process of finding our gifts and sharing them with the world.

What makes us afraid? What’s on our “supposed to” list? Who says? Why? Gremlins are like toddlers. If you ignore them, they get louder. It’s usually best to just acknowledge the messages. Write them down.

“I get it. I see that I’m afraid of this, but I’m going to do it anyway.”

Overcoming self-doubt is all about believing we’re enough and letting go of what the world says we’re supposed to be and supposed to call ourselves.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Make a list of the work that inspires you. Don’t be practical. Don’t think about making a living; think about doing something you love.

What’s your ideal slash? What do you want to be when you grow up? What brings meaning to you?

Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it’s heaven on Earth.

Shame resilience requires laughter.

music reaches out and offers us connection—something we really can’t live without.

dance is in our DNA.

They even dance naked. Not always gracefully or with the beat, but always with joy and pleasure.

When we don’t give ourselves permission to be free, we rarely tolerate that freedom in others.

Dare to be goofy. Dance every day for five minutes. Make a CD of songs to sing along with in the car. Watch that dumb YouTube video that makes you laugh every time!

meaningful change is a process.

we must ultimately answer is this: What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?

Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.

No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.

the gifts of imperfection are courage, compassion, and connection,

For me, the risk of losing myself felt far more dangerous than the risk of letting people see the real me.

“My story matters because I matter.”

let go of my interests and investments so I can focus on the concerns, interests, and ideas of the people I interview.