An Ideal Husband

by Oscar Wilde

Why, he rides in the Row at ten o’clock in the morning, goes to the Opera three times a week, changes his clothes at least five times a day, and dines out every night of the season. You don’t call that leading an idle life, do you?

Oh, I love London Society! I think it has immensely improved. It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics. Just what Society should be.

Ah! the strength of women comes from the fact that psychology cannot explain us. Men can be analysed, women . . . merely adored.

I love talking about nothing, father. It is the only thing I know anything about.

I adore political parties. They are the only place left to us where people don’t talk politics.

You see, it is a very dangerous thing to listen. If one listens one may be convinced; and a man who allows himself to be convinced by an argument is a thoroughly unreasonable person.

Oh, I like tedious, practical subjects. What I don’t like are tedious, practical people.

In modern life nothing produces such an effect as a good platitude. It makes the whole world kin.

Scandals used to lend charm, or at least interest, to a man—now they crush him.

Even you are not rich enough, Sir Robert, to buy back your past. No man is.

I am a little too old now, myself, to trouble about setting a good example, but I always admire people who do.

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

But no man should have a secret from his own wife. She invariably finds it out. Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.

That is the reason they are so pleased to find out other people’s secrets. It distracts public attention from their own.

Life is never fair, Robert. And perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not.

did not sell myself for money. I bought success at a great price. That is all.

Ah! I prefer a gentlemanly fool any day. There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine.

my ambition and my desire for power were at that time boundless.

when the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers.

The sum Baron Arnheim gave me I have distributed twice over in public charities since then. lord goring. [Looking up.] In public charities? Dear me! what a lot of harm you must have done, Robert!

I usually say what I really think. A great mistake nowadays. It makes one so liable to be misunderstood.

the English can’t stand a man who is always saying he is in the right, but they are very fond of a man who admits that he has been in the wrong.

Well, she wore far too much rouge last night, and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman.

Oh! I live on hopes now. I clutch at every chance. I feel like a man on a ship that is sinking. The water is round my feet, and the very air is bitter with storm.

Ah! the truth is a thing I get rid of as soon as possible! Bad habit, by the way. Makes one very unpopular at the club . . . with the older members. They call it being conceited. Perhaps it is.

Nobody is incapable of doing a foolish thing. Nobody is incapable of doing a wrong thing.

proposed to me in broad daylight this morning, in front of that dreadful statue of Achilles. Really, the things that go on in front of that work of art are quite appalling. The police should interfere.

I am very fond of Tommy, but his methods of proposing are quite out of date.

Oh! I must shake hands with Lady Markby. She is delightful. I love being scolded by her.

system, and wonderfully interesting it was. I assure you that the amount of things I and my poor dear sister were taught not to understand was quite extraordinary. But modern women understand everything, I am told.

Except their husbands. That is the one thing the modern woman never understands.

He won’t take any interest in politics then, will he? The House of Lords is so sensible. An assembly of gentlemen.

Talks more and says less than anybody I ever met. She is made to be a public speaker.

In this world like meets with like.

We are enemies linked together. The same sin binds us.

She looks at him with strange eyes, as though she were seeing him for the first time

It is not the perfect, but the imperfect, who have need of love.

it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive.

Oh, damn sympathy. There is a great deal too much of that sort of thing going on nowadays.

My life seems to have crumbled about me. I am a ship without a rudder in a night without a star.

Youth isn’t an affectation. Youth is an art.

He is making for you a terrible sacrifice. Take my advice, Lady Chiltern, and do not accept a sacrifice so great. If you do, you will live to repent it bitterly.