How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

by David Brooks

“the gem statement.” This is the truth underneath the disagreement,

gem statement

“Why, at heart, do we disagree?

disagreement under the disagreement, you are looking for the moral, philosophical roots of why you each believe what you do.

“Being curious about your friend’s experience is more important than being right.”

DON’T BE A TOPPER. If somebody tells you they are having

David Bradley

three topics:

do you want to offer the world?), my skills (What are you doing when you feel most alive?), and my schedule (How exactly do you fill your days?).

“People often haven’t had anyone tell them about themselves,” he responded.

A person can go a long way with a narrow skill set.

But at some point during late childhood or adolescence, many of us begin to withdraw from intimacy.

pogroms in 1905 when the Cossacks shot members

they helped her step back from the minutiae of her job and see the big picture. Sometimes a broad, dumb question is better than a smart question, especially

When you are asking a good question, you are adopting a posture of humility. You’re confessing that you don’t

idiosyncratic.