Study for Obedience

by Sarah Bernstein

What happened to one’s past when one got beyond it?

All these efforts, I realised with a great sadness, had been in vain, had in all likelihood been doomed from the outset. They had not gained me citizenship in the place; I remained, as I now understand I must always remain, outside.

Every single one of us on this ruined earth exhibited a perfect obedience to our local forces of gravity, daily choosing the path of least resistance, which while entirely and understandably human was at the same time the most barbaric, the most abominable course of action.

My presence violated some crucial and unspoken rule, which I thought now had to do with narrative, the right of a people to preserve the stories they told about themselves and their own history.